Ok, bit of a long story here.
In may, I left my partner after he started getting aggressive towards my ds. As he'd been abusive in the past towards me, I feared where it was going and left him.
Anyway, I've kept him updated with our ds's progress, feeling it was best for ds (I moved 200 miles away, after he kept threatening me with social services, threatening suicide and threateniing to kill me and ds)He has a contact address where he can get things forwarded to me. Yet he's made no effort for access. Although this makes things easier for me, he recently said to me he'd be happy seeing our ds once a year. Once a year, I kid you not. What has an almost two year old done to deserve this? When my soon gets older, how do I explain to him that his dad wasn't bothered about seeing him?
As for Christmas, and my son's birthday two weeks later, he originally said he would deposit £50 for each into our sons account. Then he cut it down to £50 altogether. He was supposed to deposit this two weeks ago to give me time to buy something for ds. then he said he'd do £25, which he didn't. He now intends to do this the day before Christmas eve. Somehow I don't believe him. Last year, he spent nothing on our son for christmas, and borrowed £10 from his nan to buy his birthday present. As far as I'm aware, he's yet to pay this back.
Since I left, I've been asking him to change the virgin media bill from my name (seeing as I'm no longer there) to his name. I phoned Virgin myself, and was informed that I'd need to sign a form, as well as my ex. At the time, they had no address for me that they would have been allowed to send the bill to. Eventually, they agreed to take the phone call as a verbal signature, and sent him the required form. He told me this was returned. Foolishly, I believed him, until he told me last week that it still hadn't been changed over, and that he'd sent three forms back. I phoned Virgin last night and they told me they had no record of any form being sent back, nor any additional forms being sent. Also, the bill had not been paid since September 28th (he was still able to pay this, following an agreement with virgin that he could phone to make payments) and the outstanding amount stood at £290. Eventually, I managed to talk a member of staff into transferring the account (and debt) to my ex. It seems he was still trying to ruin my finances.
I'd also asked ex p to send down some certificates I needed for my college course and UCAS application.Last wednesday, he claimed he'd done this, costing him £7.50. As I used to sell on Ebay, I was aware a folder shouldn't cost so much, but thought I'd give him the bernefit of the doubt, as he didn't ask me to re-imburse the costs.As of yet, it hasn't arrived at the address he has, nor has the "unable to deliver" leaflet from the Royal Mail. I twigged he definitely hadn't sent it when I sent a parcel to Cyprus today, of a similar weight, costing £2.55.
I'm at my wits end. If he keeps breaking promises to me, what happens if he changes his mind re: access, gets access then starts letting my son down again? How can I trust him not to hurt my ds? And why should I keep up my side of the deal and keep him updated on our ds?
Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.
Ex p doing what he can to ruin things
dontcallmepeanut · 19/12/2009 02:11
Ok, bit of a long story here.
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