cant do this anymore.... Im bout ready to walk out

[spookycharlotte121]

thats it.... i cant do this anymore.... asked exp for help and he made me feel even worse....i dont ant to do it anymore. i want to run away and leave him to see how fucking hard it is but instead he just tells me he has a lot going on in his head right now.

well so do i.

What about asking your ex to put the money in an envelope and put it through the door?

Cut all ties! My ex tried controlling me after we split up, things are so much better now I have no communication with him at all. You WILL cope, sometimes I get so jealous of people who's ex's give them money and have the kids, but if the choice is between nothing, or him trying to colntrol me, then I would rather have nothing.

im just gonna go out. my mum will be in looking after the kids so he can give the money to her.

this isnt money for the kids..... this is money i leant him and he has to pay bk. he doesnt give me a penny for the kids..... never really has done.

im just going to keep my distance from him.

Glad you're feeling better today charlotte.

I agree, sometimes we all need a hug and it's not unmumsnetty if it's done on the right threads

Try to have as little contact with your ex as possible. Take care and enjoy your day.

kids are off out to the soft play place for the afternoon with my mum so i will have a few hours of quiet to do uni wotk. am feeling a lot better than i did yesterday.

How are you feeling spooky?

Have you had a better day?

was really naughty and slept the whole time the kids were out so now I have even more work to do which is kindof annoying but i was feeling crap and just needed some time to myself and sleeping seemed to fit the bill.

am not feeling too bad tonight tho so here is hoping to things going better from now on.

It is sensible to sleep when you can, not naughty.

Just take it a bit at a time.

Did you get your money off your ex?

If he doesn't pay maintenance for the children I would definitely would not be lending him anymore and why isn't he paying for his children?

Agree with fabulous, you need rest charlotte, if you are too tired it just makes things seems so very much worse - its not naughty its very sensible.

have you been to your gp - sorry if i have missed a post, but i think you may be depressed.

You are not a failure at all - from the bits i've read you have two kids and going to uni and managing on your own with an exp who is making life hard. Sounds like you are doing your best, so be kind to yourself, your kids love you and dont stress about the housework, there is always housework to do! Keep up with your studies, try to get enough sleep and remember your kids know you are their lovely mum.

got the money back off of my ex. he was pissed off with me becuase i was a tad bit tipsy when i opened the door to him..... a friend had come over and we had had a few glasses of wine, kids were in bed but he thinks its irresponsible

he doesnt pay for them because he 'cant afford it' he only works a few hours a day and right now i cant deal with the struggle of going to the csa.

havnt been to the gp, i was diagnosed with PND at the beginning of the year, the ads were working but seem to have tailed off a bit now so im wondering if i need the dr to increase my dose. I am making next week my mission to go in and see the dr and talk to him about the doseage, getting counciling and the best way of getting back into exercise after 3 years of being a lazy bum not being able to really do any. Have also decided im going to try and join the gym and do a light workout in the gym and have a swim on a sunday morning when the kids have gone to their dads, i think that it will do me some good.

the support of this thread has been a life saver and i really dont know what i would have done without people checking up on me and encouraging me.

I have spent most of the day in bed...... the house is a pig sty but today im not feeling too bad. im enjoying question time and faffing about with a bit of uni work that needs to be handed in tomorrow and might even indulge in a glass of wine in a mo.

hiya charlotte
that's sounding more pos.
am glad to hear that you're getting a handle on things
please remember to keep on looking after yourself here

He would have to support you if you were still together....

Just got on to the CSA. It can't take that much effort, surely, and he should be paying for his children.

What does he do for money - he must get some from somewhere?

get on

Sounds like you are making progress Charlotte.

You'll feel better too when you have finished your uni assignments.

Don't want to sound preachy Charlotte but try not to drink too much, even if the kids are in bed, it can be hard to stop if you are feeling down and in the end, it never helps.

Going for a swim and so on will make you feel great - its a good idea.

FBG he drives a taxi for a couple of hours a day. not making much money at the moment though as there isnt much work.
Im frightened of going to the CSA incase he gets angry and stops seeing the kids. i dont want them to lose contact with him and i really value the few hours i have to myself on a sunday when they are with him. pathetic i know.

dont worry i dont drink too much..... its not possible. i just fall asleep lol.

today isnt going too well but im managing to not let it get to me. havent managed to get into uni and feel annoyed and upset about it but theres not a lot i can do. Trying to stay positive.

Well he needs to go to work longer to earn more money and if he gets arsey about seeing the kids then maybe you are better off without him. A dad at all costs is not always for the best.

Well I think that he might be turning a corner. He dropped some milk over this evening and told me he was going to get his act together so heres hoping he can do it for the kids.
he was really good with them, his behaviour around them has greatly improved so hopefully his attitude in other areas will too.