Left abusive ex 1 year ago. However still have real difficulties talking about it. My close friends know some of the details - but even them i can only talk about it one-one in a "safe" environment.
I have to stop myself from crying whenever I talk about our break up.
I don;t wear my wedding ring and never mention a partner but everyone assumes you have a husband (because of dc's) and I feel so ashamed to say we are not together any more. Sometimes I even answer question like what does your husband do with the correct answer with no mention that we are separted (feel sick for hour afterwards)
O try and explain what went wrong but noone (even close friends ) seem to understand whenI start to talk about his abusive behaviour so I don't talk about it.
I feel I should be able to sort it out (but know my ex H us "unsortable") and feel that everyone is judging me for giving up and ruining my children's life - noone has said this)
I feel like such a failure and am mortified that my life is in such a mess andso uncertain - fincances/contact far from settled, living in small rented accomodation despite family home being a lively huge 4 bedroom house and I know people think it is strange.
For colleagues/mummy friends etc I am sure my life has become the "elephant" in the room as I don't say and therefore thay don't ask.
I can't evert imagine feeling any better- does anyone have any advice?