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Feel ashamed - 1 year on

26 replies

popcorn123 · 25/04/2009 00:12

Left abusive ex 1 year ago. However still have real difficulties talking about it. My close friends know some of the details - but even them i can only talk about it one-one in a "safe" environment.

I have to stop myself from crying whenever I talk about our break up.

I don;t wear my wedding ring and never mention a partner but everyone assumes you have a husband (because of dc's) and I feel so ashamed to say we are not together any more. Sometimes I even answer question like what does your husband do with the correct answer with no mention that we are separted (feel sick for hour afterwards)

O try and explain what went wrong but noone (even close friends ) seem to understand whenI start to talk about his abusive behaviour so I don't talk about it.

I feel I should be able to sort it out (but know my ex H us "unsortable") and feel that everyone is judging me for giving up and ruining my children's life - noone has said this)

I feel like such a failure and am mortified that my life is in such a mess andso uncertain - fincances/contact far from settled, living in small rented accomodation despite family home being a lively huge 4 bedroom house and I know people think it is strange.

For colleagues/mummy friends etc I am sure my life has become the "elephant" in the room as I don't say and therefore thay don't ask.

I can't evert imagine feeling any better- does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
poshsinglemum · 01/05/2009 18:52

i used to feel ashamed until i realised what a great job i weas doing on my own- now i feel proud. part of the shame is down to outdated media stereotypes, part of it is grieving. enjoy the freedom that comes with being a lone parent.

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