Page 2 | how do you 'announce' to people that you're a........SINGLE PARENT.....

livvysmum · 2005-04-24T14:54:55+00:00

have been friendly with some mums in a mums and toddler group i go to on a weekly basis, was getting to know one quite well and felt it was time to let out my secret, that i am indeed a single mum, she seemed a little uncomfortable with it and visibley backed off. it didn't make me feel good. i don't tell everyone that i'm on my own as i feel that 'yummy mummies' tend to have negative ideas about single mums.(please correct me if i'm wrong any ym's out there) i have a beautiful dd and she is developing just fine, we're happy, but i can't help but feel a small pang of shame for my situation. how do other single parents hold thier chin up, should i tell people about my situation or just leave it. i feel awkward when they talk about thier dh's.

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DillyDally · 25/04/2005 09:54

By ripping up the Happy fathers Day card DD made in nursery in front of the other parents whilst cackling?

I tell people straight away if they ask and hold their gaze so they know that I am not embarrassed at all
and then i say at least I'm not as bad as Tinker (being a c on the lone parent scale)

TheVillageIdiot · 25/04/2005 09:58

Hi Sorry I haven't read all of the thread but if I'm talking about dd to someone new - new mummy friend or something I always in the first conversation work in a line like

"blah blah blah and because I'm on my own with her blah blah blah"

I find getting it out in the open straight away avoids any embarrassemtn all round

Mhamai · 25/04/2005 10:01

Ive just read a thread about missing my dp and one members comment was totally offensive, ie she said, " he's gone all day, its like being a single parent and it sucks" grrrrrrr sorry folks but since when does not having a man mean it sucks!

TheVillageIdiot · 25/04/2005 10:02

More like it means you don't have to

TheVillageIdiot · 25/04/2005 10:03

should mention I do have lovely bf these days but he doesn't live with us so I still consider myself very much a single parent

Beansmum · 25/04/2005 10:06

I find that people assume I'm a single mum just by looking at me and I've never had to actually explain it to anyone. Maybe I should be a bit worried that it's so obvious I don't have a partner! Am I that unattractive?!

fairyfly · 25/04/2005 10:07

I also have a lovely boyfriend , he also doesn't live with us as i am not mentally ill.

But i have to say he has made my life easier, it is the little things you miss and i send him out on errands, every little helps in my opinion and i am a very lucky single mother. i feel for people without a strong network, must be incredibly tough.

Mhamai · 25/04/2005 10:07

Misunderstood members comment, so taking back what I said oh and sorry for hijacking this thread

Bugsy2 · 25/04/2005 10:08

Perhaps its that horn growing out the back of your head Beansmum!!!!!!

Tinker · 25/04/2005 10:10

Beansmum - my brother once said ie NOT ME that he could always tell single mothers, they looked more together somehow. He lives in Chiswick though, where, I 'ear, they wear fancy clothes an' stuff.

fairyfly · 25/04/2005 10:10

People can recognise your a single mum for positive reasons, you may just look very independant and in control. Step away from the negativity. I think woman can really bully themselves, i dont think there is much point in making yourself feel dreadful. Living with a man did that to me , im not going to do it to myself aswell.

snafu · 25/04/2005 10:12

Those aren't the single mothers, Tinker, those are the au pairs

Beansmum · 25/04/2005 10:12

maybe it's because every second word out of my mouth isn't 'my dh' like some of the mums I know!

WideWebWitch · 25/04/2005 10:18

lol at dillydally ripping up father's day cards and Snafu (au pairs!)!! I had a (single parent) friend whose brother used to say he loved single mums because they were so desperate. It really pissed me off that remark. He was a 27yo single man. Wanker. I wouldn't wish him on anyone.

DillyDally · 25/04/2005 10:22

We are desperate! But generally for fair maintenance payments, respect, fathers who pull their parenting weight, a night off....
not desperate for sex with mingers

WideWebWitch · 25/04/2005 10:22

I know dillydally, I didn't agree with him, honest!

DillyDally · 25/04/2005 10:23

Mhamai · 25/04/2005 10:26

grrrrrr have to get away from missing my dh thread now someones said, by being a single mum you learn to live with it grrrrrrrr

TheVillageIdiot · 25/04/2005 10:28

Will avoid that thread then! Those sort of comments would really annoy me.

Quite frankly if dh's are away all the time then perhaps they should "learn to live with it". If they don't like it they could always leave and then at least they'd have the chance to find a bloke they're happy with!

Mhamai · 25/04/2005 10:35