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Original poster

So, as a 30yr old, would you consider dating a 22yr old ??

68 replies

HopeFortheFuture · 06/04/2009 22:59

I know it is only 8 years but I am struggling to even entertain the idea, not really because of the age gap but because of him only being 22 iyswim.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/04/2009 23:28

oh dear Hope!
he's asked you already to go out for a drink so it's just a case of you saying yes/no isn't it?
his addy tho is way different altogether
sounds as tho he might just actually want a bit of uncomplicated shagging tbh
so it's really up to you how you play this and what you actually want
as for not having a date in years do you actually want one?

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 06/04/2009 23:29

My dh was 23 and I was 30 when we got together

we are blissfully happy

(luckily he's a bald coot who looks older than me even now and he's always been a bit old-mannish)

Original poster
HopeFortheFuture · 06/04/2009 23:35

Thats nice to know Laurie

A date would be fine, although i got the impression that if i went out for a drink with him that it would be with him and everyone else who he normally sees on a Sat night.

Tbh the me going to his thing started as a joke when I realised where he lived, as I nearly moved onto his doorstep last year. He then said shame you didn't etc etc and I said that I lived close by anyway and he said good, you can come round for a drink then.

I trust him enough to go round to his for a drink, that would be fine, I am just not sure it is a good idea if he thinks there is more to it than there is.

OP posts:
StercusAccidit · 06/04/2009 23:35

I'm 31

Shag his brains out and when you've finished with him forward him to me

Make sure he's clean though first ...

aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/04/2009 23:40

tbh.if i was asked round to a bloke's house for a drink the first time we'd gone out i'd read sex end of
this is despite how long or how well i'd known him
you've obv. got alot going for you tho and even if you don't take him up on his offer hope you consider dipping your toe in the dating pool again

Original poster
HopeFortheFuture · 06/04/2009 23:44

Really, god perhaps I have been out of all of this for too long. I have no clue what anything means.

I was just about to say that he'd be on to a loser if that was what he invited me round for but I know damn well that that is such a lie lol.

Anyway, we'll see. He may never mention it again anyway, and I dunno if that is good or bad lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
HopeFortheFuture · 06/04/2009 23:45

Even if you were friends when you worked together ?? Would you still think he was just after sex then ??

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/04/2009 23:48

so as you're obv.enjoying chatting on fb have you considered online dating?
this way you are able to meet men closer to an age that you feel comfortable with

aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/04/2009 23:49

oh just read that!
IME yes def

Original poster
HopeFortheFuture · 06/04/2009 23:50

I have zero luck with online dating tbh so have given up on that.

I am not really looking at the moment anyway, this thing just happened.

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 06/04/2009 23:53

why?{nosey emoticon}
where have you tried?

Original poster
HopeFortheFuture · 06/04/2009 23:56

Ummm all the usual suspects, pof, smooch etc. I just don't attract the type of people I want to.

Can't afford to pay to join one and wouldn't anyway tbh.

I don't mind as like I said, I am not really looking at the moment anyway.

OP posts:
toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 06/04/2009 23:58

why don't you set the terms of the date so that you feel comfortable? next time you are chatting to him online, let him know you would like to meet for a drink and suggest somewhere you like and feel relaxed in. Don't agree to his flat as venue.
He will a) get the message you are not a first and only date shag and b)either decide he just wants a shag and leave you alone or decide he loves the whole older chick in charge vibe and go along with your plan, and you can take it from there.

oh and if you do shag him senseless for a fortnight, can you come back and tell us all the gory details please? my sex life is all by proxy atm....

Original poster
HopeFortheFuture · 07/04/2009 00:03

Lol, dont worry, if that happens then I will let you all know.

I think your idea is a good one though toomuch, but I am not going to suggest it unless he mentions meeting up again.

I'll probbaly never hear from him again now lol.

OP posts:
thumbbunny · 07/04/2009 00:11

No. I did it. It was crap. Having said that, my DH is 9 years younger than me but I didn't meet him until he was 26 - I have concluded (through bitter experience) that if you are older than them, don't bother with them until they are past 25. They just aren't mature enough in general until they reach 25 and as an older woman it is that much harder to deal with their crap than when you are of a more similar age to them (given that women supposedly mature faster than men anyway)

aseriouslyblondemoment · 07/04/2009 00:16

i think toomuch is right here if you're interested which i think you are
i don't know what's come your way online dating wise but believe me i also get alot of hassle and i'm on a paying site
but online does take effort and a fair amount of being thick skinned and a tad brave at times

LiamW · 07/04/2009 02:56

I'm 22 and currently in a relationship with a 30 year old woman who posts here..

I don't think either of us have an issue with our ages or the age gap between us, it's just not an issue. We've not been together an eternity but at the end of the day we're happy together and I'm more than happy with her and the children she has from another relationship.

I wouldn't just write the bloke off as immature, after all not all young blokes are immature pricks who just want women for sex. I'm sure a lot of older women have relationships with younger men that actually work out and blossom into something worth taking the chance for..

VodkaGirl77 · 07/04/2009 13:24

Hi

Speaking from experience, last year I dated a 22 year old at the age of 30 (nearly 31, and he too looked younger than 22. He told me he was 24 when I met him, but admitted his age on our first date.

In my experience it is all down to the individual person, I felt that he was very mature for a 22 year old and able to hold his own in discussions and conversations. He knew right from the start that I had two children and was separated from my husband, and was able to deal with all that.

We only dated for a couple of months and then both moved on, but it was fun while it lasted. Oh and the sex was amaaaazing

StercusAccidit · 07/04/2009 18:49

Liam i agree.

Mine is 37 and STILL acts 22

Months

Glad some lads are grown up and responsible

greenelephant · 07/04/2009 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lazzoo · 07/04/2009 21:12

There is a formula! It's half your age plus 7. 22 is fine. It's all in the science.

juicychops · 07/04/2009 21:41

when me and dp started dating i was 21 and he was 31

Janos · 08/04/2009 20:47

Can I be quite base and say yes, for shagging only but no for proper relationship?

Purely MO of course.

notnowbernard · 08/04/2009 20:49

I'm 31 so can try to imagine myself with a 22 yr old

Have to say...

Dating NO

Shagging VERY POSSIBLY

kickassangel · 08/04/2009 21:03

isn't there a 'rule'? something like 'half your age, plus 7?

so, if you're 20 (20 / 2 =10, +7 = 17), 17 is your 'lowest limit'

so 30 = 15, +7 = 22.
just about!

if for a fun relationship, prob yes, if he was mature enough not to irritate. maybe not for long term, imagine having to teach him how to grow up.