where have all the fit and interesting available men gone part 5!!

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

ok we're off!

only been seeing around 6 months, has suddenly got quite heavy with all this stuff and is doing my head in.
Yes I suppose I should be more tolerant, eve, I know it can't be easy but I really don't feel like a chilli and sex tonight so I am staying in, have said I will call but don't really feel like that either.

I thought it was around 6 months.

It's fine to take a breather. Stay home and let him work stuff out. And of course you too. You will know in your heart what you want and how much you can take.

i think it wouldnt be unreasonable of you to say to him how you feel about it, and giving an opinion on what you think he should do/how it is affecting you

6months is long enough to feel able to discuss these kind of issues i think

yes, I will do that.
It does upset me cos the boy is lovely only 10 and he is agonised over choosing basically between mum and dad, I hate seeing how traumatised everyone is and the only way I can help really is back right off
The ex thing presses all the wrong buttons with me due to my own trust 'isssooos'

She is his ex for a good reason. Don't forget that. I know what you mean he will always have another women in his life his DC's mother. Same applies to us. They do know how to stick the knife in.

lou we had a discussion about it last night. He is very much of a mind that his ds needs stability of staying where he is now with him and brother and I have to say I agree, esp since mum is having trouble coping with both dc during visits. Personally I feel v strongly the boy should not be left to choose as it is clearly doing his head in, but that is by the bye now as choice has been given. This family pow wow today was supposed to give them some clarity and something to prepare and it seems nothing has been resolved and I just feel v angry for his son and his placidity over the whole matter. I said what I thought, diplomatically and supportively and he agreed wholeheartedly but today's texts were just well ds will decide, needs more time. and would you like to come over for a chilli and a shag hug

Sorry forgot to add sympathy for the DS. Hopefully the parents will handle it well enough so that whoever he 'chooses' will be fine with everyone.

all sounds very complicated

can you joke with him about the shag?

reply saying ok but who with

god he didn't call it a shag, he's far too polite!
yes we can joke about stuff like that just need more of the light hearted stuff and less angst, makes me a light weight I know but I have enough angst of my own
eve I don't know the details but you had a break up and I was sorry how are you doing?

No biggie Ninah. I didn't know him long enough. Just thought it would last longer than it did and miss him a bit.

but like you said earlier it's not an equation.
It's v disappointing when you summon the courage to go for it and it all goes wrong. I can see why you'd be fed up, despite all the common sense stuff (better sooner than later etc - like saying someone 'had a good innings')
On the plus side getting out there again will be a lot more fun now this thread is going
I still get matches through - why would someone call themselves Donkeythickets do you suppose?

Gawd knows. Same as 'horny boy'

I don't rely on internet dating but you never know a nice one might pop up.

You are right about equations, but it does take less time to get over the less time spent together.

glad you're Ok and thanks for this eve, you helped big time, and lou

ninah - hope things are a bit better for you today. definately think you need to open up to nm about how this is making you feel.

policeman - good time, dinner was lovely, went to a really arty bar like a canteenafter.

he had loads to say. but he was as dull as dish water. so laid back he could have been asleep. and no chemistry at all. plus he looked alot older than his pic.

Morning all

oh rj, what a let down!!!!

will he get better on a second date?

hi ninah, I hope you can work it out, baggage sucks.

lou, maybe you should go to sainsburys on you r next date!

Well since I made it crystal clear about the no over 40's thing, I haven't had 1 single message

Am starting to feel like xp has branded me or something

Someone please encourage me to unhide my profile again, am feeling jaded by the whole thing now.

rj, do you think you will see him again?

I'm such a wuss but ever since I saw my neighbour on frd I have lost my nerve

oh unhide it doll. you wont loose anything by trying.

will i see him again, i doubt it. he was a very nice guy, intelligent, gsoh but just wasn't anything else there.

oh no rj was getting excited there when you said about the bar, what a shame lol
will you give him another chance? although if there's no chemistry ... he obv knows some good hang outs tho!
thanks all, am going take the dc out for lambing weekend and forget all about nm and his probs for today
dp if I saw anyone from round here I'd die! did see one bloke at rugger practice I thought might be, was real munter as well

Done rj, thanks for the kick up the arse!

Have found myself looking out of bedroom window more often since I saw my neighbour on frd, I wondered a while ago if he was single because I had only ever seen him with his kids and no oh.

Ninah, silly as it sounds I was as shocked as hell! But like me he is self employed so we're hardly likely to meet anyone at our office party!

Ooh, I think I've just found something he and I have in common. Maybe time to invest in binoculars

morning all. @ rj really sorry to hear about policeman - gets bad when you get all psyched up on someone else's behalf and then it's all a bit of a letdown - oh well, onwards and upwards ...

I have been chatting to a couple of men on okcupid - and after checking out frd on the recommendations from here may actually have to join as have actually spotted two (yup, count them, two) attractive men who can actually spell and seem to read real books - be still my beating heart. Should I go for it or will it all be a letdown and I should put the money towards a vibrator/and or chocolate instead?

hey, i got a date with a nice gentleman, enjoyed my evening. thats what this whole dating thing is about isn't it.

I think you've got a pretty good attitude to it ... and one I should try and emulate. Just that as I've said before, I don't get that many opportunities to get out and feel aggrieved if I see it as wasted ...