benefit changes??????????

[mummylou85]

Just wondering if anyone else is worried about changes in income support. I think by 2010 the age will be brought down to 7 if not found job benefits be stopped then if not found job it's job seekers? what do you all think of these changes. i'm happy towork but I have no family to look after my daughter? so in sept i'm goingback to finish my course in child care but what if I don't get job out of there. my daughter only 3 now but it's hard out there to get jobs these days especially to fit around children.

I know on job seekers you have to go on many courses, what if these are not child friendly but you have to go you get no money.

staying on benefits is not long term thing for me, I have worked payed taxes in past. but is anyone worried about future, in past didnt matter on what job i did and hours but now fitting it around my daughter. I really scared about job seekers are they child friendly. I stress about everything i'm sorry, but I think these changes take away your rights on how to parent I really think these changes in benefits wont work and i'm worried. i am stresser though x

That theory only works if you can afford childcare Mitchy.

DH and I work opposing shifts due to the fact childcare is too expensive for us.

I dont understand why people automatically assume a couple can afford childcare, even with childcare vouchers its still too expensive

it was odd, of all the things I envisaged being really hard to cope with on my own, I didn't put "making sure the essentials for coffee and roll-ups etc are in the house after the DS's are sleeping" anywhere near the top of the list.

In fact I'm not sure I'd even thought about it until he'd moved out.

Only time I've run low/out of milk since then was during the snow recently as I literally couldn't get to the shop with the pushchair lol.

FAQ and yet you seem to think little of the health and mental well-being of the lone parent who is expected to work flat out regardless, on top of coping with everything else? I've been doing this for years and my sympathy for other people in this situation comes from really difficult experience

Erm .. I always make sure I have milk in as well. DH leaves at 4am so the 'milk dash' iant an exclusive single parent problem

FAQ, sorry if my post was badly worded.

I do see your point, and I know how hard it is. I suppose what I am trying to say is that surely all the household income goes into one pot, and then you work out whether you can pay bills/mortgage/food AND childcare out of the whole amount.

And of course calculating in the fact that if the mother works then she is making pension contributions, and preserving her earning power in case the relationship breaks down or for when the kids are in school. (But then of course childcare is still a nightmare...)

Not saying that both parents SHOULD work, just that the way people calculate it always seems a little odd to me.

Yes, good quality childcare is very expensive. A full time place at a nursery costs £700 plus a month.

That's pre-school of course though. No experience of breakfast/after school clubs yet.

DH works shifts and the shops all shut around here at 10 and he has to use our only car.

So, yeah, no popping out here unless I take all three of them.

We also had to rotate shift work because we couldn't afford childcare.

I was just using it as an example as things that are just that little bit harder HelpWithNameNeeded, not meant to be having a pop at anyone.

And of course if your DH was there you could pop out for milk on your own! Single parents can't ever, that's the point I'm trying to make (possibly not very well).

well my health and mental well being suffered because I would freuently be up for 48hrs, doing a 9 1/2hr night shift in the middle of that time, and then 3/4hrs sleep and then repeating the process.

Help me - my DH didn't used to get home until 9.30 in the evening, so I did still have the problem of having to go to the shop when the DS's were in bed. I would go when he got in (if I wasn't working that night), if I was working I would be able to ring him and get him to pick something up on the way home. Likewise with stuff during the day if the weather was appalling and/or one of the DS's were ill I would get through somehow until he was at home/on his way home and get it so I didn't have to drag them all out.

I can't see how two incomes compromises the household budget at all - like dustbuster says, surely it all goes into a single pot?

The thing about two people and affording childcare is not just financial, it's the flexibility to work around one another. You don't have so many choices when you are on your own.

I have lost two jobs since I became a lone parent two years ago because of the sheer amount of trouble my ex-husband gives me. Been to court countless times, he breaks injunctions, orders and everything. Does what the hell he wants.
He has regular weekly contact with dd (3 now) which leaves her exhausted and miserable.
Have tried and failed to keep a job but in my circumstances, it is just not possible to look after my daughter properly and go to work.

She was chucked out of nursery becaue they got sick of him pestering them and when I tried to take her to a different one, I was told the law means they cannot stop him removing his own child from their care if he wants to.

FAQ then I'd expect you to have a little grace when it comes to people coping totally on their own.

Oh yes, if you live in a very rural area with nminimal facilities popping to the shops takes on a whole other dimension of difficulty.

Did that make sense?

but Mitchy - if the DH works and earns £1500 a month, all of his salary is eaten up with bills - there's nothing left over at the end of the month,

The mother goes out to work but only earns enough to cover the childcare and she still needs to pay to get to work etc (lets just use the figure of £700 that someone else just mentioned)

Doesn't matter how you "split" the bills, whether you put it all into one pot or keep separate accounts the amount of money remains the same.

working split shifts can work for some, but for others it brings the end of their relationship, if you're only seeing your DH once or twice a week for more than 5/10 minute periods. Some relationship will thankfully hold up to it, others don't. It certainly contributed greatly to the demise of my marriage.

And then you end up with a single mother who has to leave her job because the hours are impossible to get childcare for.

indeed Janos......honestly these expats that do insist on living in the middle of nowhere >>>

FAQ, in your scenario, some would argue that the family would be better off if the woman worked, because of the "fringe benefits" of pension contributions etc., her increased earning power when the DCs were in school or left home, and the fact that she would have some measure of financial independence.

Of course many would argue that this would be outweighed by having a parent at home, and not having the stress of two working parents.

Both opinions are valid, IMO.

I keep cartons of UHT milk in the utility room along with a spare pack of loo roll, a bag of coffee and an extra tin of formula.

Cuz you just never know, and those kids do NOT want to see me without my morning coffee.

but I was no better off as I was already getting the HRP and my salary didn't allow me to contribute to a private pension fund. In fact it only barely helped to cover the bills, but obviously this wouldn't be the same for all women who were in my position. So yes for many women it would give the "fringe" benefits

and I still haven't quite forgiven Expat for running off to the wilds of Scotland just months before I visited Edinburgh - especially as not long before that we'd discovered the "6 degrees of separation" is true in the form of one of my old drinking buddies

lol expat - my DS's are the same - if they get up and I say "I've run out of coffee and/or baccy" they look worried and are on best behaviour

I have those kids trained, FAQ.

DD1 gets out the milk and I need to pour my coffee and have a couple of sips before getting on with their chocolate milk and cereal, sipping as I go.

And tea after dinner. They know. I need my big Starbuck's mug and two tea bags.

My 14 year old daughter brings me a coffee in bed each morning!!! Teens have their advantages!

• sounds good - if we are a little low on milk DS1 always comes through to me before he makes his breakfast and says "is this enough for DS3's milk and your coffee"

He keeps offering to make my coffee - but I haven't quite brought myself to let him. He puts a little water in the kettle and switches it on for me. But I daren't let him make it yet.

which is rather daft as I let him walk part of the way to school on his own along a pavement next to a busy main road. And I don't think it's going to be too long until he's confident enough with the Zebra crossing on his own (we've been practising - he tells us when it's safe to go and he's not told us to go when it's not at all).

So I'm about to let him cross a busyish main road using a zebra crossing and walk 15 minutes to school on his own but I'm stalling on letting him make me a coffee............yet he never spills anything when pouring DS3's milk into a bottle, milk into breakfast, squash into a glass - even from full 6 pints or 2ltr bottles

what other changes will there be to benefits in future?

I read in news of the world that they should scrap whole benefits system and start again?

could they do that?

i'm such a stresser x

"My 14 year old daughter brings me a coffee in bed each morning!!! "

As soon as DS is old enough, I'm teaching him to put the kettle on!