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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

benefit changes??????????

225 replies

mummylou85 · 06/03/2009 23:09

Just wondering if anyone else is worried about changes in income support. I think by 2010 the age will be brought down to 7 if not found job benefits be stopped then if not found job it's job seekers? what do you all think of these changes. i'm happy towork but I have no family to look after my daughter? so in sept i'm goingback to finish my course in child care but what if I don't get job out of there. my daughter only 3 now but it's hard out there to get jobs these days especially to fit around children.

I know on job seekers you have to go on many courses, what if these are not child friendly but you have to go you get no money.

staying on benefits is not long term thing for me, I have worked payed taxes in past. but is anyone worried about future, in past didnt matter on what job i did and hours but now fitting it around my daughter. I really scared about job seekers are they child friendly. I stress about everything i'm sorry, but I think these changes take away your rights on how to parent I really think these changes in benefits wont work and i'm worried. i am stresser though x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

conniedescending · 07/03/2009 18:09

what if her partner works variable shifts or works away from home alot?

or works very long hours?

GypsyMoth · 07/03/2009 18:11

It is reality. But it's interesting to see that it's not all about the money being on benefits brings. Another daily mail myth,sitting on backsides raking it in!! It's about the practicalities and welfare of our children

FAQinglovely · 07/03/2009 18:11

Lulu - if she's sole carer has she applied for carer's allowance? And even if she didn't I should imagine the child with SN is a damn good reason for not being able to find a suitable job. Childcare for children with SN virtually non-existent ANYWHERE.

Lulumama · 07/03/2009 18:12

so how will you manage, connie?

reality, my DH works pretty much every weekend and evening, so i am kind of stuck !

Lulumama · 07/03/2009 18:13

well quite, FAQ, so there can be good reasons for those LPs with children over the age of 7 to not be able to work, there is no 'one size fits all' is there?

conniedescending · 07/03/2009 18:14

she is a carer Lulumama - totally different kettle of fish and she should quite rightly get support from benefits

and no one said anything about sitting on bums......

FAQinglovely · 07/03/2009 18:14

Lulu - I ended up working nights when DH was working afternoon/evenings (and weekends). It was sheer hell - I wouldn't recommend it - not unless you can cope with being up for 48hrs at a time and then getting 3/4hrs sleep before repeating process...........not good for your health or your relationship

FAQinglovely · 07/03/2009 18:16

oh and the "work" I do at church is sitting on my bum too..........but I do have to move both arms and legs

Lulumama · 07/03/2009 18:18

i think that i need to set up a childcare commune ! or summat...

HelpwithNameNeeded · 07/03/2009 18:18

If its not going to make a lot of difference then why bother worrying about it?

GypsyMoth · 07/03/2009 18:20

Well I did say it was a 'myth'!!

Ewe · 07/03/2009 18:49

FWIW, you can legally take time off when children are sick, your employer can't sack you for this.

I know, as have had to use it myself quite a lot over the last six months and until very recently I was also a LP, I know it is hard and trying to juggle everything can be very frustrating but living off the state for seven years is long enough IMO.

HelpwithNameNeeded · 07/03/2009 18:56

I didnt know that Ewe and I suspect my employer doesnt either, thanks for that

MitchyInge · 07/03/2009 18:57

I don't think it's very fair at all - I've always worked as a choice (have been a lone parent for over 15 years now, truly alone without family or an ex on the scene) but is it fair to children who may have just lost one parent to have the other forced out to work too?

Ewe · 07/03/2009 19:06

No, I don't think it is MI but there must be exceptions in place for those circumstances and there are other situations where I am sure it won't work. I don't think there should be a blanket rule on this but I am not sure how it would work otherwise.

Maybe the government needs to do more to encourage people to work because it is financially beneficial and provide reasonably priced childcare and incentivise employers to look at flex hours and job shares etc.

There is a long way to go before it could become a functioning piece of legislation

expatinscotland · 07/03/2009 19:07

Plenty of working poor parents have to both go out to work, too, though, Mitch. How is that fair to their kids, either?

GypsyMoth · 07/03/2009 19:07

Well I escaped dv with my 4 . Cos my idiot ex couldn't keep his fists to himself I was forced to be homeless, kids had to leave school and friends to live in hostel. There a year, but forced onto benefits that I'm finding difficult to get off of! But it's still a bette life for my kids than their previous one with dad working/beating up mum!

skramble · 07/03/2009 22:56

When I was with my partner we were just as poor but I still could only work a few hours part time as the childcare is the same with or without a partner, was easier with a partner as he could work full time and do extra hours in the evening as I looked after the kids. I was able to stay at home most of the time because I had a partner.

Money is less now I am on my own,
jobs are just as hard to find, and child care just as difficult to organise.

I have been looking for more adaquate work for oh about 5yrs now since DD started school full time, but the magic job fairy hasn't got together with the magic childcare fairy and worked a magic spell. So I will continue to do the little hours that I do get in my part time job and claim the tax credits that keep me alive. I have always worked and paid the tax I owe.

skramble · 07/03/2009 23:01

Meant to add I can only do the little part time work that I do, due to a very, very very flexible job and a wonderful MIL. Unfortunatly they are few and far between so many on IS do not even have that option, I condsider myself a one of the fortunate.

I have no problem with single parents claiming benefits and looking after their children, most single parents did not exactly want to be in that position.

In couples I think at least one should work or both work part time to share the care. If your lifestyle dictates you both work then that is a choice. Even when my exH was on minimum wage I was able to stay home and look after the kids, yes we were as poor as and had everything second hand but that was my choice.

Original poster

mummylou85 · 07/03/2009 23:25

thanks for all replies took me forever to read. cant reply individually. but i'm even more worried now. I'm not lazy, worked, paid taxes been to uni and unexpectently ended up single mum on benefits to 3 year old. my daughter has know one only me. I think it be unfair for her to be stuck in breakfast clubs, after school clubs, thats far too much. I dread to think how she feel with me not there for her etc.. how she could turn out. if it was simple to find job in school hours and let me take time off when daughter sick and school holidays i'd jump at it but I dont think it's right being told how to parent and dictating sort of parents to be. I literally have nobody to help me and ex cant be trusted, this job seekers what if they send me appointments and causes which make me unable to pick my daughter up? if I dont go have no money but that mean neglecting my daughter

OP posts:

FAQinglovely · 08/03/2009 00:41

skramble - it wasn't our lifestyle that nesseciatated me going out to work, it was pure finances. Things became more expensive (we already wore 2nd hand clothes and lived mostly on Value food).

mummylou - I don't know of anyone on JSA who's had to attend courses. And the appointments with them every 2 weeks you can just take your DD along (although by the time this will affect you she'll be at school anyhow and chances are it'll be during school hours that your appointments there will be. [smile

They won't make unreasonable requests to you. Do you honestly think the lazy arses (that give everyone else a bad name) manage to do much more than attend their fortnightly appointments - I doubt it very much.

All you have to do is show some sort of effort in finding a job. If nothing has come up that works for you/your childcare then they can't expect you to have done anything about it

Here you go from the directgov website

"An adviser will explain how JSA works and draw up a 'jobseeker's agreement' with you, showing:

your availability for work
the kind of work you want and how you'll look for it
how you might improve your chances of finding a job
the help and support you'll get"

So - availability - obviously a lone parent isn't going to be avaiable for night work/very early morning/evening/most weekend work.

Kind of work - well obviously they don't want you to go back and show that you've applied for teaching positions if you're not qualified, or work as an electrician if you can't even change a plig.

The 3rd one - they'll probably tell you about courses at your local college/learndirect type places - many of which are very short simple courses that can be done during the day.

Oh - and on a lighter note - don't get too stuck on the breakfast/after school clubs. My DS1 attends one after school activity at school, and one club that's run during lunch time. When they started an extra "before school" club that started at 8am he wanted to go to it............and threw a complete hissy fit at me because I said no (he did eventually come round when I pointed out that instead of getting up at 8am and leaving the house at 8.45 he would have to get up earlier and get out earlier

FAQinglovely · 08/03/2009 00:42

oh and also meant to say - dont forget that by 7yrs old your DD will have been at school for 2yrs, and possibly part time nursery for a year before that, so won't be quite so dependent on you (they do grow up horribly quickly and you sudddenly start to feel slightly redundant lol)

GypsyMoth · 08/03/2009 00:43

How was the chicken??? LOL

FAQinglovely · 08/03/2009 00:45

oh chicken was lovely thanks (and the Magners pretty nice too). DId go to bed 45 minutes ago but got a coughing fit and DH is staying over tonight and I didn't want to wake him up...........so came downstairs for a glass of water and am still here )

FAQinglovely · 08/03/2009 00:46

oh and "plig" is a - late-night-typing-in-the-dark "plug"

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