why cant i leave the kids with their father, and just leave?

[chainstitch]

good reasons please. not just that i am the mother, and moms always stick with their kids.

do you mean for good?

because you love them and would be lost without them?

because you don't want them to go through life thinking you abandoned them?

because you're a better parent than you think you are?

because if you did you would regret it?

because it's fucking hard work this parenting lark and the only reward is knowing at the end of it all that you did a bloody good job

because your kids love you desperately and would miss you if you weren't around all the time?

because dads leaving is crap, and mums leaving is crap. there's no good way for a parent to leave their children.

sorry you are feeling like this . i wonder the same thing sometimes but then dh gets ill again and I remember why it is in my case.

yes lauren

thank you squonk

I thought of another one:

because if you leave you won't be able to sneak in on them at night and look at them sleeping.

they're angels when they're asleep, right?

(does any of this help?)

because you need each other, you're all the same flesh and blood and whatevers gone wrong can be put right somehow, i was a terrible child at times, early teens the worst, i caused my mum hell, she used to say to me i wish i could just leave and never see you again, it broke my heart, she meant it at the time but not in the long run, and now were closer than ever, i thought we'd hate each other forever but time does heal

it does, sort of
i dont sneak in on them at night naymore. i amjust grateful they are not on my case, and am glad they are away from me for a few hours.
i am so sick of their constant neediness, and my inability to provide their needs. mainly emotional ones.

i just want a holiday away from my life basically.

a holiday may be doable.

are you alone in this? do you have a partner? family?

SHIT sorry, I'm afraid I never look at which board the messages are on, OBVIOUSLY you are alone in this most of the time. really sorry

there isnt an inability your just not seeing it right now, running away forever realllly wouldnt be providing their needs, better to try than not at all,

chainstitch - are they asleep now?

go and look at them.

Look at them NOW and then come back and carry on chatting with us...

partner is th ebloody problem
i just sent him on a holiday in the far east. i didnt mean to, but thats what worked out. i just dont get why he gets to go off, whilst i am stuck at home with the kids and their constant fighting.
i really need to go on holiday for a bit. but its not going to happen.
thank you all for your thoughts. i value them.

Because they are still the lovely, gorgeous children you always had. You carried them inside you and gave birth to them (including cs in that). They love you unconditionally and I bet you do them too.

Yes it gets hard at times, I know the feeling, I have 3 children and have split with their father but it's worth it.

They need you, more than ever now. You really would miss them a hell of a lot.

Oh I'm confused, are you a lone parent or do you live with your partner?

managed to chuck him out two months ago. but because of a telephone conversation with him, whilst he was in the far east on business ten days ago, i managed to make hiim stay out of the country for longer, which he chose to do by going for a holiday in thailand. before that it was all business. which didnt bother me obviously. but if i had kept my mouth shut,insted of yelling at him,and hanging up on him, then i wouldnt have been coping with them on my own during a horrible half term, whilst he was gettinghis skin burnt on a beach in the far east.
when ds1 was being nightmare, there was NO one i could call on for help. no one at all. made it all the worse coz i knew that i had sent him off on holiday. at least if he was in the country, i could have told him to come sort his bloody son out.

yes, had a huge argument with him today. same old crap. which is why am feeling so bitter.

If you're not together then why are you argueing with him? Just don't have those conversations. What he does or doesn't do isn't your concern anymore and vise versa. You need to learn to deal with it on your own and not rely on him. I split with mine 6 months ago and I haven't felt better tbh. Life is easier and simplier now, by far.

When he comes back, arrange for him to have the DC for a weekend and take some time for yourself. Then work out a way of getting a weekly slot of childfree time to please yourself. If the children's father is unreliable or an unsafe parent, what about other family members? Or are they old enough to have a sleepover at a friend's now and again (OK you would have to pay for this by having friends' kids sleepover at yours now and again too but it might be worth it for a night out.)
Best of luck. You're not bad or wrong for wanting time off: it's really hard to function without it.

You can is the answer to your oringinal post.
When he comes back pack them off to stay at his (presuming that is practical) Don't know ages of dcs but I would go so far as to say that it wouldn't matter if they missed some time off school being at his because it is good for their mothers mental health.
Plan it right now, dates what to pack, and more importantly where to go for you, even if you just stayed where you would benefit. Everybody feels like this and you are sooo normal and I you can do this. Good luck

How old are the children?

Does the children's father live with you?

Below are the reasons I can think of:

1. You will regret it...everyday
2. Your kids will wonder what they did that was so bad that their mum left them!
3. Leaving is the ultimate selfish act.
4. Leaving won't solve your problems, just create a whole different set.

chainstitch - I've only just caught up with this but it has really touched me. I hope you're still reading. The feeling of wanting to run away can be a sign of depression - have you seen your GP? When I was depressed I felt like this, although only fleetingly. It scared me enough to seek help, and I did get better.

solidgold and others are right - you need to get your arrangements sorted so that you get regular time off, even if it's just for short periods.

Please let us know how you are, and don't leave your children without admitting how you feel to someone who might be able to offer practical help (eg: the GP).