Do you ever feel like your brain is going to melt?

[fairyfly]

I'm having one of those weeks where i feel totally overwhelmed with doing everything myself. I am getting hassle left right and centre and feel like i am constantly treading water. It wont last, i will sort my head out but do you all have times like this? I think i take two steps forward and 20 steps back. Positivity is overated, i should come to terms with the fact i will always be one step behind and a huge failure. Sounds like i am full of self pity, im not overly. Just sick to death of living off nothing. My x is slowly leaving me behind, i feel like everyone i know is going past in sports cars while i am getting soaked with puddles at the bus stop ( Metaphorically).
It will take years before i graduate. blah blah blah. suppose im just sulking. I also get sick of people telling me im doing the most rewarding job of all bringing up two boys. It doesn't feel like it sometimes, i feel trapped. I know i am doing a good job, but surely i am capable of more. I used to be ambitious and bright and now i look round and i am in a flat on income support. I totally messed up.

Right, well thanks for listening, you have just saved some person getting an earful down the phone . I know what i would say to myself..........you dont know how lucky you are.

Just wanted one self obsessed whine.

ff the way you feel could be me this week, am not a lone parent, but am struggling to cope with the facts of ds2 and his condition atm, and we are struggling to make the money stretch as well. I react in one of two ways, sink lower and lower and become a hermit until i can find the energy to pull myself out of it, or I wander about shouting at everyone until I get so overwrought i burst into tears and have a meltdown. Can't do anything to give you practical help, but just wanted to say i understand. xx

So which do you prefer, the hermit or the meltdown approach?

i prefer to hermit, but meltdown more often than not.

I can do meltdown and hermit at the same time...cool, eh?

As I feel like that sometimes and am not a single parent, FF, you have my sympathy - at least I have dh to yell and throw things at. You'll get there, hon, you're a remarkably strong woman - then you can drive by in your sports car and splash the bus stop people. But not me please - you can give me a lift.

and another thing why do women have to take on board contraception. I have had rubber gloved hands up my anus, nipples that feel they are on fire, my belly cut open, labour, pmt, and now i have the choice of deciding if i would like to take the risk of breast cancer and thrombosis or have a foreign object jammed up my vagina

Thanks Martha honey

ff what's wrong with condoms??
(huge sympathies for your whine btw )

Nothing i suppose, will stick to my original issue.

whine whine whine whine. this is when i miss a partner i need to shout at someone in my house to blame it all on him. nothing to do with the fact i have woken up in a stinking mood, i must spend the day finding someone to take it out on

Can i join in?
Twat ex has come back from spending three weeks in Peru at huge expense, probably more than he has ever given for maintenance, he has broken DDs pushchair and refused to pay for new one, he brought DD back at weekend with sodden nappy and now my house sale has fallen through with the buyer giving no reason for pulling out. i have just had to break several peoples hearts in the chain above me. What joy. I am still going to be living in a flat when I am 70.
I haven't had a date in about two years, i never go out any more and am permanently exhausted at working full time and looking after DD.

Life is so bad, I am starting to think it is hilarious. I must surely be the victim of a Truman show esque type thing. Because this doesnt happen to other people as far as I know.

oh ff, i'm sorry, shout at "us" if it helps, xx

(don't know where i'd be without my dh to shout at )

it's the air pressure ff, i feel the same.

a lot of us have synchronised periods in my office too (just like in convents) and that doesn't help, either

Yes my x has booked a fortnight in Denver and is having four driving lessons a week. I have not brought clothes for about a year and everytime i see him he is all brand new. Apparently his wonderful woman is ill and i dont understand the pressure, even though he himself has not been to my sons heart examinations since he left. oh and the only reason my hair is long is because i cant afford to get it cut. I am getting fatter and thicker and uglier and trampier, while he is getting predicted a first.

hello bundle

My brain has officially melted... not even a snigle mum... I have nothing much to complain about...I'm having one of those days and I need a good sleep!!!

Can't type anymore or anything!

hiya lou, how are tricks? btw i missed the fallout from your mobile bill...how did you sort it in the end? (dd1 still talks about the tsunami picture, btw, we now have a lovely wooden jigsaw of the world and she knows exactly where you took it!)

I was thinking about you and your dd only the other day. Mobile bill was a bit of a coup actually. He went a bit mad in thailand and kept calling me to shout at me for silly things. During one of these calls he laid into me saying he felt like i was always trying to get him off the phone, i didnt want to talk to him etc. So i just said
actually the reason i havent been calling you as much is because the day you left the bill came in for £600, but i was trying not to tell you and spoil your holiday, so fuck you. And hung up.

The next one was big too but not quite as much.

dd1 is a bit unsettled atm because she's having to share a classroom with the other reception class (refurbishments to nursery bit of school ran over from easter hols) and i think she finds it too noisy. children so do not like change..

FF, hun, take it out on us. I could have written your post last night (not trying to steal your whinge-thunder ) - made the big mistake of googling a few 'old friends' and found lots of stuff that just made me feel about 3 inches high and just as useful. Went to bed feeling like 7 kinds of shite - woke up today and it's all pretty much the same. I've wasted my life and all my opportunities and all the stuff I had going for me and now I am a bitter single mother not even capable of paying my own rent and with more baggage than Heathrow Terminal 4.

Ack, I'm doing that talking about me thing again. Sorry. Just wanted you to know that there are others of us out there feeling the same way. We're probably wrong about us, but feel it anyhow.

Snafu that is exactly how i feel. I sat here ringing up paying bills last night and though for god sakes i am just a bloody robot.

Huge sympathies to all whiners. Wish I had a magic wand but in fact need to join in too. House is crumbling around me: bin shed is collapsing, tap in kitchen keeps leaking, tiles in the bathroom are coming loose, mirror over fireplace fell on floor & smashed into 1 million pieces, the ground floor overhead lights have all fused, the car keeps breaking down & to top it all the bloody loo seat needed changing, so I bought a new one & could I take the old bloody seat off - no! Reduced me to tears - stupid toilet seat!!!!!!
Just so much stuff & no time.

love the thought of her looking for where her picture was taken on a map!

You will have to take her to the place where i took it

But sometimes I have to be a robot because if I thought about things and really examined my life and all the shit that's piled up over the last 5 years I might start crying and then I'm not sure how I'd stop.

Oh, so much melodrama for 11am! Must remember to temper it all with a