I didnt think XP could do anything else to shock me......until today

[TequilaMockinBird]

I just need to rant, not expecting any replies as this is probably going to be long!

As some of you who may have read my other posts will know, my XP is the definition of 'twunt'. He pays me £12 a week in maintenance and is forever telling anyone who will listen about how skint he is because I take all of his money . He works full time in a good job, has no new family to support, lives in a bedsit paying £50 a week rent (including bills), goes out at least 3 or 4 times a week drinking/casino/bingo and goes on foreign holidays etc.. Even when DD goes to stay with him, I have to provide food for her or else she doesn't eat or drink because he's skint.

Anyway, DD (11) has been saving up money for ages now. She currently has just over £100 (combination of pocket money, birthday money and christmas money) and everybody knows about it because she is so proud of herself and how much she's managed to save (and rightly so!).

She was reading a magazine today, saw an advert for Butlins and asked me if we could go. I explained to her that things were hard at the moment and that I don't think I can afford Butlins but we would definitely go somewhere in the summer, even if it was just to stay with friends/relatives for a few days.

A couple of hours later she rang XP to see if she could see him tonight as he's off work today. He said he couldn't see her as he's 'got things to do' (which probably consists of bookies/pub/lying in bed all day). She then asked him if he would take her to Butlins sometime, he replied saying that he was always skint but that he would take her if she paid with her money and I would take them/pick them up in the car

DD has now gone to bed in a strop and crying because I told her that I wouldn't allow her to pay for her Dad's holiday and nor would I ferry him about!

Once again, Daddy is wonderful and it's me that's made out to be the bad guy. I'm really and , I wish he would just fark off out of our lives altogether, I really do.

Anyway thanks if you've got this far, like I said, I just needed to write it all down and rant.

OMG what a horrible man, how anyone can be like that us beyond me. your poor daughter and poor you

one day when the kids are older im sure it will click that we really werent the bad guys and did everything we could. thats what im clinging onto anyway...

supervixen, I too am clinging onto that hope!

Fingers crossed it happens sooner rather than later

I collected the Sun £9.50 holiday tokens once and took the kids to Newquay in Cornwall for 4 days. We stayed in a holiday park. We didn't have much spending money when we got there, but the park had activities for children that I think were free or minimal expense. The beach was nearby. We went during term time just after the holidays officially ended. It was fun and nice just to have a change of scenery. I think the total expense including travel, cabs, entry to places of interest etc came up to around £300 or so. Perhaps Pontins of Butlins is cheaper.

Anyway, I guarantee that your daughter will definitely see the truth when she's older. My Brother thought my Dad was a hero when he left my Mother for another woman and acted like he was constantly skint and "busy." He would compare Mum to Dads other woman. Anything Dad brought was better than what Mum brought etc. My brother doesn't have the time of day for my father now, even though he's a better dad now, which is sad. So be patient with her tantrums/anger towards you. I promise it will change. You're a fabulous mum, and that's irreplacable!

Another option would be to go camping near a Butlins centre and get day passes. I know this can be done at Minehead.

Or spilt a chalet with friends and take your own food and drink.

Your ex sounds a right knob and your daughter will realise this soon enough. She will be grateful that she had you fighting her corner even when she didn't realise it needed doing.