Sorry if this has been done to death......but can we go round the group and introduce ourselves (please?)

[curlygal]

Hello

There seems to be a good group of single parents around at the moment so I was wondering if we could all say hello and state our business so that I can try and keep track of who's who?

I only recently got internet at home so I am sure that I will be contributing (and occassionally ranting) more often so I'd like to formally introduce myself, well here goes....

I'm curlygal, I'm 35 and I live in Edinburgh with DS who is three. I work part time yet am still constantly exhausted. Most of my friends are married and the few single ones I have don;t have children so I feel pretty isolated and as if I am the only single parent in Edinburgh sometimes! Add to that the fact that my Ex is "challenging" to say the least and I could really use some support from like minded single parents, so please step up and say hello

If no one answers this thread I will actually cry as have had the day from hell (but please don;t let my intense neediness influence you

Well, I'm going to out myself as the oldest one on here - 51 with a 9 year-old DD, working full-time. Still a bit wild at heart and with a huge zest for life which was sadly lacking when married. Live just north of London, split 2 years ago from ex, the madman is already having another kid with his new GF and as he already has another daughter with somebody else that will make him a 3x3! Luckily our DD sees it as quite normal....

And actually, things are fine between us, he lives locally so DD spends plenty of time with him and he's a great dad. I have new DP who is lovely but lives 200 miles away so don't spend much time together but as I don't have much time anyway that's OK.

Not sure if I should be posting as I am no longer a LP but I have been there and have a DD aged 8 who will one day want some answers regarding ExH

Same age here mocca. Positively geriatric!

Hello I'm Citronella.

I won't be too specific because xh has found me on here before.

I'm 40+ have two small dc and divorced last year.
I am so much happier.

Oh goodee Gettingagrip, and that's not all we have in common, my ex was a fully-fledged narcissist as well!

So was mine..fully-fledged..he literally took flight in fact.

He has two daughters by another woman too. I now know, that these types like to procreate then leave their victim in a vulnerable position, ie financially and mentally/emotionally stuffed and with small children.

Which makes my h a textbook case. Of course he thinks he is unique, special and grand. But he can only achieve such status in his own limited brain by being another twatish 'farang' preening himself in the girly bars and classrooms of an underveloped country (though a beautiful one by all accounts)

It amuses me a great deal now that he thinks he is utterly gorgeous and beyond clever. He would be devastated if he ever woke up and reaised that in fact he is just a fat-arsed, short, boring, lazy, cheating, stealing, adulterous, perverted and very ordinary textbook nutter.

Just had to get that small rant in. Sorry.

PMSL at your "small" rant Unlikelyamazonian. It would make a fine thread title

Hi everyone, I am Holly23, I am 38 years old and work in Higher Education. I joined MN just after Christmas hence the name "Holly", however it sounds quite boring compared to some of the other names here.
I split from my H last July and started divorce proceedings in November. My solicitor has just written to the Court to set a date for the decree nisi, tbh I can't wait for the divorce to come through.
I have a DS of 5 and a DD of 11, and I live in the Midlands. I used to live in H's home town which is quite a distance but left the marital home with my DC's because I couldn't take H's behaviour anymore, his family lived close by and made my life very difficult . Been married 15 years although the last 7 have been pretty shit. Anyway my H is an alcholic, gave me plenty of verbal abuse and had an affair (I think he still is but not sure), then his family started picking on my DD as well , so one day when things came to ahead, I realised I couldn't take anymore so moved back to my hometown where I have the support of my parents. The marital home house been sold but my H has left me in a load of debt so I am living with my parents until I get myself sorted out so I'm hoping to buy a house later this year. I wish I'd discovered MN before because I could have done with some advice when I lived with H. sorry if my message is quite long! .

Its nice to meet you all!

I'm (normally) Kewcumber, aged 43 and 11/12ths, live in London with DS who is three. I'm a lone parent by choice having adopted DS aged 1 on my own. I have such a supportive mum who lives close that I'm not sure I can truly call myself lone (perhaps I'm lone and a half).

HI I am a mum with a dd (14) a ds (12)and a dd (9).

I got divorced three years ago after living with a tosser who was abusive towards both me and the kids. He has behaved appallingly throughout either by breaking into my house, hitting/assaulting my kids and not paying any maintenance.

I did behave badly too though as I had an affair which we tried to sort out (I realise now in part he was controlling me and as he said he wanted revenge but needed time to plan it) but made me realise that putting up with his violence especially towards my ds was a choice I could refuse to put with any longer. It made me understand that I was not rubbish and was attractive and brilliant. I still wish I had managed to feel all that by myself though.

The eldest two no longer see him my dd hasnt seen him for two and a half years and my ds for a year now. My ds (who was hit the most) has had counselling for a year and is fine in fact all three are brilliant, happy and doing incredibly well at school. I had to face stuff with him about not doing enough to stop the hitting when I was married to my x.

My youngest dd still sees x after a social work course (two social workers spent an hour and a half at school with her doing kidscape once a week for 8 weeks) which helped after he hurt her to make her at least feel safer. She has insisted throughout that she see her dad (and regardless I have supported her decision) I am hopeful as we have had a year of no problems that she is now in control.

After a lengthy battle through the courts which was really hard and involved the kids having a court appointed guardian and their own solicitor everything is finally settled and there is an agreement in place which means I have residency and the kids got what they wanted a choice in when and if they saw their father.

I am a nurse and work full time currently in hospital management but shortly to take up a post as head of learning and organisational development at a large university teaching hospital.

I am much happier and whilst I had a couple of short relationships I prefer to be on my own as I want to make all my own decisions and feel free to behave as I want.

Anyway that is enough for now I could go on and on......

Hi! Im 24 with a 6 year old daughter, living in Northern Ireland. I just started childminding a few weeks back, and am loving it. Im also doing an Environmental Studies degree with the OU.

DDs dad left, moving 600 miles away, when I was 3 months pregnant. He got back in touch just before her 4th birthday and now we visit him and his family, or he visits us, every 2-3 months. We get on great (but not in that way)

My mum is depairing at my lack of partner, but Im fine with it - wouldnt mind a few more nights out tho!

{shock] Dad's clearing out their kid's bank accounts? I really have heard it all now. I thought my Ex was bad as is such a battle to get any maintenance money off him....

Plus found it incredible that if his family gives him money for DS eg at b-days and christmas, he spends it on himself but to take money from your child's account.

Words fail me

Nice to meet everyone

I'm Dino I have 3 boys aged 9,6 and 2. I actually get on quite well with my ex (hes been here all day putting DS2's new bed together) but every so often he helpfully does something to remind me why I divorced him.

hi all, great posts here.

i'm 25, mum to one dd who is five, xp was a nob for many years but is getting it together now. he totally broke my heart. i'm in my final year of a degree. can't imagine dating again, worry about that sometimes as i am young. a long life ahead if i never meet someone...

i have great emotional support, not so much practical support, but have college and lots of fun, loving, energetic friends, none of which have dcs which mean i get a bit spoiled sometimes! i'm the happiest i've ever been in my life too .

i think we all love retiredgoth now, he has a fab sense of humour. and i also love the bell jar .

Hiya Curlygal, also a single parent, also in Edinburgh so rest assured curlygal you aren't the only one.

My DS is 4.2 and full of beans. I do relate to the being isolated feeling - sometimes you feel surrounded by happy familes and like the odd one out (speaking for myself of course )
but there are quite a few of us out there so it can't be true!

Hmmm, I should edit my edit posts.

Heh heh heh!

I'm more of a lurker here nowadays.

I've been single for seven months. XH is an emotional abuser and I had a lot of help from some great people on the relationship forum encouraging me to leave him. I finally managed it after attending The Freedom Programme.

I have three girls, the first two from my first marriage, ages 16 and 13, the other from my second marriage age 8.

I was made redundant from Woolworths at Christmas. I'm studying for ECDL and have just applied to do NVQ Accounting. I was an accounts clerk for 7 years before I had kids but had no accounting qualifications as I started as an office junior and learned on the job. Eventually, I hope to be able to support myself and my family without benefits. I seeing a great guy but have no plans to settle down again until I'm able to support myself and when the kids are much older.

dragonstitcher i have that dream too of being qualified and off benefits.

Hi I'm Debra, 28 with 1 DD2.7. Left ex-h when she was 5 weeks old due to his alcoholism and abuse/violence, divorced in May 2007. Working v. pt, wondering if its worth looking for something more in current climate. Ex is still a bit of a twunt but much less than he was (now that he has a court-issued warning for harassing me after we left). Is claiming benefits so not really contributing financially (but think he may be working cash in hand hmm..). He also cleared my bank account just after we left as he had my cheque book (I left in a hurry). He had a spell seeing DD in a contact centre, now has her overnight every weekend since she turned 2 as that went ok, wants more but I don't trust him think she's ready. Been seeing someone for the last few weeks and am feeling really needy about him as he's great, but don't want to scare him off or fall for him as he may eventually turn out to be another one.

Hello

I'm CatchaStar, I'm 21 and I stay in Scotland. Dd is nearly 20 months. Just about to start year 2 of my degree through the OU. DD is starting nursery tomorrow for the first time, so I can have some study alone time!

I'm a stay at home mum and am looking forward to finishing my degree in 2 years time, only one year behind schedule! Dd was an unexpected surprise, but a lovely one.

ExP is a numpty. He's coming to see dd on Monday. He last saw her when she was 3 weeks old, that is and was the only time he's seen her.

He's not a bad guy, but is pretty useless and needs to grow up and grow a pair. Not sure how I feel about him coming to see dd. Would never stop him, but on a personal level, may want to kill him whilst he's here for abondoning her. Still don't know why he did it. Don't understand how he could ever do it. Don't think I want to know.

Will let you know how it turns out

Hi everyone, great threads - nice to meet evryone! im 29 with a ds who is just coming up to 2yrs old now! and a lovely dog who is nearly 7, was with my partner 10yrs married for 5, he is an emotional abuser during and marriage and now afterwards, but am glad to say im just starting divorce proceedings woo hoo! scared of costs but ready to move on, I teach animal care and welfare part time after a long but great career on a subject that I am passionate about. The last 12 months have been hell and im fairly new to this site but have really appreciated everyone's kind words so thankyou x

I had to move of my things out of the house yesterday because its now sold. H has still been living there on his own and was supposed to keep the house clean! Oh boy it was sooo dirty. Dust on the tv an inch thick, the stench in the lounge, the scum in the shower tray which was pretty new when I left and mould on the bathroom mat....(ugh).perhaps he appreciates how hard I worked to keep the house clean....? Nah probably not!

Im 23 have a 2yo ds. Left his dad when ds was 9 months old and moved back to where im from 3 months later. Ds doesnt really have a relationship with his sperm donordad. Hes seen him for 7 weekends (2 of which where at my house and 1 was with his dd aswell) and 2 hours on ds's birthday since easter last year. He doesnt contact me at all to find out how ds is. Im past trying now as i know i have done everything i possibly can to maintain a relationship between them bar giving EXP money for travelling which he has expected me to do and thrown in my face.