Sorry if this has been done to death......but can we go round the group and introduce ourselves (please?)

[curlygal]

Hello

There seems to be a good group of single parents around at the moment so I was wondering if we could all say hello and state our business so that I can try and keep track of who's who?

I only recently got internet at home so I am sure that I will be contributing (and occassionally ranting) more often so I'd like to formally introduce myself, well here goes....

I'm curlygal, I'm 35 and I live in Edinburgh with DS who is three. I work part time yet am still constantly exhausted. Most of my friends are married and the few single ones I have don;t have children so I feel pretty isolated and as if I am the only single parent in Edinburgh sometimes! Add to that the fact that my Ex is "challenging" to say the least and I could really use some support from like minded single parents, so please step up and say hello

If no one answers this thread I will actually cry as have had the day from hell (but please don;t let my intense neediness influence you

hi iam 43 in london and left abusive/controlling/depressed-since=2004 partner last year. tho riends point out he ahd been neurotic and obsessive/controlling for years...

i work full time so was able to/had to move out to rented flat as he said he would never move out of jont owned flat.

told me "you wont be happy" and did i want "kramer versus kramer".

this time last year he was alternating between telling me "you are full of sh%t" in front of the DCs - especially in front of - and buying hugely expensive presents to prove his "love".

have realised had spent years trying to make him happy.

after moving out i allowed him access to see dcs in my flat but he would then refuse to leave, said could not accept situation and became violent. arrested after one incident august 2008. went to court I applied for residence order in my favour.

now awaiting supervised contact to be set up. he had one session before xmas which he turned up late for! oldest dd wont speak to him. tho they enjoy indirect contact ie he leaves gifts on a wednesday.

he never accepted disabled son (autism, severe learning difficulties) now 12 - and attacked him during a big depresive episode (psychotic?) in 2007 after which he was admitted to psych unit (had been self harming for weeks and seeing various psychs etc). persuaded him to go to his family and friends in his home country to get better, after a few months he manipulated back into family home end 2007 then refused to leave, saying "i am back now, i am in control".

dd 8 is coeliac (no gluten), dd 6 is fine.

i wish i had been on MN during 2007/2008 - som many similar experiences! tho had good group virtual internet friends via SN support group(s) as well as RL friends who helped me move etc..

joined a real life separated and divorced therapy group last year - but it dwindled to two of us then the other person decided to get back with her ex...is that considered success or failure for a "coming to terms with being separated" group? [hmmm].

get some respite for ds but not much time for social life...

sorri long!

Hi I am FeelingOld, I am 43 and have 2 dcs aged 13 and 8. Currently divorcing my ex for adultery. I work full time as a childminder.

I am old!!!!

I have been single for nearly two years now after leaving my narcissist husband and his narcissist family.

They set up everything so that I am unable to claim anything from them re money. (Family business). I am currently embroiled in a nightmare court action to try to get my money back that they stole from me over 20 years.

I have two teens, 18 and 16 , both doing exams this year. God help me.

I am generally much happier, as are my children and the dogs. I do have severe depression however, and wish I had discovered MN years ago.

I go dancing and walk the dogs alot. And work part time.

I live in the north.

no legal advise yet as just had to get my dc out of that situation and enviroment in old house.

he doesn't know new house address as he's claiming as we have children, then any home we live in will be his home. and he refuses to take kids on own at present. insisting he must come to house and see them. which will consist on me running about looking after dc as normal, except he's on the couch either sleeping or barking orders for his dinner or cup of tea.

he's been informed he's not stepping foot over door when he finds out new house. he insists he has to "see childrens living conditions"

does he f*

currently meeting him a couple times a week to let him see kids. he is supposed to bring car seats and take them on his own. but he always has had an excuse so far. today. yet again he has made an excuse. says his car is still in garage. wonder whats wrong with his other car??? why not put seats in there.

Elmo - will start a new thread...

Hi, single mum of a 4yr old been putting our life back together since this time last year when I found out the man I had married was in fact a complete con man. He has taken all my money, I lost my house and he did in fact clear my sons bank accounts out as well. We no longer see him and in fact the story continues .. a best seller I may say!! .. he no longer warrants the name daddy to me just the sperm donor when I have to discuss him. My son seems to have adapted very well and lets hope it stays that way ...

Theres no such thing as a single parent we are always there to listen if people need it ...x

Hi

I'm MiaWallace, I'm 29 and live with dd who is 3 in Devon.

Split up with her father 2 years ago and we now get on better than we did when we were together.

He was a rubbish partner but is a good dad to dd. She spends the alternative weekends with him and his girlfriend.

I'm a full time student. I'm just about half way through my second year studying for BA Education Studies

Hi I'm UA. I also married a conman.

He 'disappeared' 7 months ago. We have one utterly scrumptious ds aged 14 months.

We are still married but I have removed my rings and stamped on all his hats.

He too took all our money, leaving me with a whopping overdraft and no savings. He too cleared his two small daughters' post-office accounts - of 8 grand.

He hopped on a plane one sat lunchtime with lots of condoms and is now living with some foreign bird, swanning around a university in bang-land living on lies, sex and green curries. He used to cough loudly to cover up his huge farts. It never worked. Poor foreign bird will find that out soon enough.

He is being richly supported in his perfidy by the German colluders at Springer Verlag.

I am re-building my life. I thank the good lord everyday for MN which has got me through (plus fabulous RL friends) and LOVE being a mother. No longer have weird psycho-narcissist disordered man around, OR his beastly family, OR his even worse ex.

Every conman-cloud....etc

Being a single mum is endlessly exhausting, rewarding, terrifying, interesting, lovely, scary and FREEEEEeeeeee-ing after life with arsewipe.

Hello everybody I'm so glad you plucked up the courage to start this thread I am 47 too and have dd14 ds12 and only just joined after lurking for a year left xh two years ago.
Live in a small town and wonder if anyone else has had the experience of dealing with outdated reactions of married men who I have known for ten-fifteen years suddenly jumping out their skins and looking really frightened anytime I go anywhere near them and looking around backing off. God they only needed a crucifix to make me feel really 'unclean'!!

Vinnytits here, i am a veteran single parent, bought ds1 up on my own since he was 4, he is now 19

Now bringing up ds2 alone, as xp ran for the hills when he found out i was pg, ds2 is 2.5yrs old so thats erm....a 17yr age gap between my dc

I work full time and live in the Northwest

Last two posts v enlightening! vinnytits I always love your posts and thought you were about 34 going 134 (yr wise).

And, well, mamas12 I am 45 this year. So clink glasses with you.

I live in a small town too but have yet to experience the garlic-swinging married-man syndrome (I never go out). Can't wait though...am going to scare them all rotten with my Come Hither cross-eyes (the wine look.)

I'm 25, mum to DD who is nearly 4 now. I've never really known it to be any different; if pushed I'd say me and ex were 'dating' when I got pregnant, but it was very much drawing to natural end anyway as I realised just how much he was not the partner I wanted for life because well really there was just no partnership. When I was pregnant he turned out to be a controlling bully who tried very hard to push my family and friends out, but because they are so great it never got that far. Although like many of the ex's on here he will swear to it all being my fault for 'changing' when I got pregnant and not doing anything to make things easier for him (well duh! before that I was going out, smoking and drinking and living a student type of life - of course I bloody changed, and he is not a child and shouldn't need me to manage him like one to make that fact easier for him, and he convieniently forgets about all the things I did do for him out of choice before I realised he really was taking the piss)

I'm in Liverpool. I'm self employed and usually work more than part time but less than full, topped up with some weeks of much more than full time when I get offered lots of work. I live at home with my mum but don't feel bad about it because I grew up with my grandparents here so it feels like normal to me and saves a small fortune. I like being a (well supported) single mum so much I'm considering doing it again on purpose!

Unlikelyamazonian I see these men at ds football and rugby sessions after school. I don't go out either but that is my new years resolution - to get a life !

Unlikeley Amazonian - you have summed it up for me:

"Being a single mum is endlessly exhausting, rewarding, terrifying, interesting, lovely, scary and FREEEEEeeeeee-ing after life with arsewipe."

You said it all..

Roll on the divorce!!!! Initial hearing a week on tues.....

Hi I'm bcsnowpea. I'm 22, ds is 2 and beautiful. X and I split about three months ago, but I haven't been fully initiated into single-parenthood yet as we are still under the same roof. DS and I are leaving for Australia in 2 weeks, and I'm terrified. Will be living with my dad, so hopefully it will soften the landing.

I am WCL and post on here quite alot. I wish I had known about mumsnet alot earlier esp towards the end of my marriage. Split after 13 yrs married in 2006, divorced early 2007.

I am 40 something and have two DSs aged 12 and 7. Live in London, work full time.

Felt so much relief when we split and although the time since has not been easy it's so much better than my crap marriage which sucked the life out of me.

ExH has moved on with easeand very quickly to his next partner
victim and we still have lots of issues mainly to do with how often he sees DSs and how he tends to complain to me about them.

Have had one relationship since split and currently dating.
Not sure whether I really want another man in the house elephant in the room but intend to make the most of life and have some fun.

Hi all! Love how this thread is growing ...

Curlygal, I have indeed watched Studio 60 - watched the entire thing over a few nights! - and bloody loved it. Am devastated that they cancelled it.

Also love Amazonian's comment - life without arsewipe, however tough, is so much better than life with.

Cheers to you all.

Hiya, I'm AnarchyAunt. Single mum with a rather gorgeous DD who's 5 ('and a bit and a half').

Not currently working, but volunteer for SureStart as a BF peer supporter and am starting the NCT BF counsellor course.

Ex is challenging in so very many ways - left us for a 17yr old (he was 32) who he promptly knocked up, so now he has 3 DC by 3 women and doesn't see or support any of them.

hi i am lifesaboxochoccies i have ds 2.10 and am 11+4 weeks pregnant with number 2! ds's dad is also a twunt has never bothered in ds's life which is sad but i enjoy being a parent. Finally thought id met the right man for me was with him 4 months and fell pregnant then he dumped me by text for somebody else and is trying to make things as hard as he can now. I AM DONE WITH MEN FOREVER!!!!! nevertheless i am really excited for number 2 and the 3 of us will be the perfect family. I get a little bit of help but not allot to be honest i have a couple of close friends and i wouldnt be without them but i try to concentrate more on my ds and myself.
Oh and beautician happy birthday for tomorrow hope you have a great day!!!

i'm 42 (just), 4 children, split with my exh just over 3 yrs ago but still trying to get a divorce and having issues with his behaviour with me

never regretted ending our marriage for one second

my children are almost 17, 12, 10 and almost 8

my youngest has cerebral palsy and is a wheelchair user

no official partner atm

43 yr old mum to lovely and lively 4.5 ds. Work full time, sometimes more than full time thanks to my BlackBerry. No contact with ex since ds was 10 days old and desperately ill in SCBU. Decided then that I could only look after one baby in my life and the choice was easy. Ds tells people who enquire after his daddy that he doesn't have one - he has a mummy and a grandma instead .

Occasionally I think it would be nice to have someone to share the parenting with but haven't been on a date since ds was born! Ds currently concerned that I might die before he is grown up 'mummy you are very old'!

Sounds like a fabulous bunch of people on here! It's a surprisingly uplifting thread. Three cheers for us all. Hip hip..

agree with UA.

I'm PurpleOne and single mum to 2 DD's aged 13 and 11. Been divorced from exh for 8 years.
Currently living in NE London/Essex borders and I'm nearly 36 years old.