Do you just sit and look at all the men on a site and think 'Yes but what is wrong with you?'

[petrovia]

I'm only on one site, have been there a good while and never really do anything, I just sit in a corner and occasionally get added as a 'potential goer' by someone or whatever you call it.

I keep telling myself, 'Come on, have a browse, there must be some nice chaps on here' and then I start to look through them and there are loads of really dodgy looking ones, and then I see someone who catches my eye and usually I find myself going 'yeah, but why haven't you got a girlfriend, there must be something up, otherwise you would NOT BE HERE'

and then I think 'but what about you, MissGiantbreasts1976, what are YOU doing on the shelf?!'

and then I just give up, because if the blokes out there are anything like me they are probably not ready for a relationship.

Crap isn't it? As you were...

Blimey Niceguy it wasn't you was it? Why are you so offended?

There's no need to be horrid. I said I wasn't contacting anyone, I don't think looking through the ranks can really be classed as wasting people's time, can it?

I am joking and am being self deprecating at the same time, not sure what your problem is tbh...I'm sure I am often wrong, I'm talking about my own perception here and seeing as I have so far failed to find a decent man to be with I am sure you're right and it is slightly off the mark.

But how do we make a decision whom to contact if we have to question our own visual judgment all the time? Surely there are subtle clues in a photograph that can give us at least a rough idea whether the person is someone we can connect with or not?

Looks were important to me ten yrs ago, now I'd value somebody who can stay good-humoured and chat to all your friends and family.

Having read the rest of the new posts I am pretty much in agreement with Gettingagrip.

Tell us then - how do we know, what do we look for?

(apart from someone who doesn't say 'you women')

Niceguy you sound really bitter actually.?

my man-radar isn't picking up bitter vibes from niceguy tbh, but it is bleeping furiously at n1 on the other thread!

Oh I will go and have a look

petrovia
what do you do if you dont see a pic?
ignore them?
or read their spec and stay open minded and then maybe chat to them and get a more honest opinion of them
i say this as my exb had a pic
another ex didnt

Hmm asbm I get a bit worried if there is no pic. I do read the blurb, but I prefer to make an immediate visual judgment and then onto the personality iyswim. Perhaps that is shallow but it saves me some time I suppose.

If the blurb is fantastic I usually would be interested though piccy or not.

my exb had a pic as i said but by that point id reached the conclusion that id had enough of good looking dullards
so he had to convince me lol!
another bf had no pic but we just hit it off
and fortunately when we did see each others pics we weren't disappointed lol

Seriously? I'm being accused of being bitter, sarcastic and derisory????

Have you read some of the really offensive things written about men on this site? LOL

So quickly people are jumping to the conclusion that I must be bitter & twisted. I'm not at all.

Take time to get to know me and you would find that I am indeed a nice guy. But I speak my mind and i'm not apologetic if it isn't the usual "all men are sh*ts" mantra peddled often here. Or that sometimes instead of lynching someone for daring to have a different opinion that i try not to judge and instead to understand their opinion.

am so agreeing with niceguy2 here!!
well said lol!

I don't think you are a bitter fuckwit niceguy2.

That's not to say that I haven't take an instant dislike to some of the other men posters who rock up on the lone parents board!!

Maybe my internal radar needs re-calibrating but I am definitely not detecting bitterness from niceguy2.

Not picking up much else at all though.....?

I have just received a virtual bunch of flowers and a really boring message from an uninteresting man, who calls himself Mr Cassanova!!!!!!!!!

So yes I can relate to your experience as well

Absolutely no-one has said anything remotely like 'all men are shits'

We are trying to find our way in the murky waters of dating and relationships. Having previously failed in a spectacular fashion.

As it happens, I have several men friends whose present or previous female partners are nutters of the highest order....

The OP was musing on whether it was just her who had these thoughts, and we answered her musings in a light hearted and self-deprecating manner.

What we actually feel deep-down is that it is US who are weirdo-freaks as we seem unable to carry on normal relationships with the opposite gender.

No-one said anything like..'you men',

I like men actually...unfortunately I seem to be too independent... call it what you will, for men of my age.

This was a quite light hearted thread, until you came along and started your stereotyping of 'us women'.

We were laughing at ourselves, not at men!!!!

And the irony is obviously lost on you that 'all men' are visually stimulated by the look of a potential partner. If you look at the posts on this thread, not one woman has said she goes for looks, they have all said they want kindness, humour and sociability as traits in a partner.

I think the black humour on here has passed you by....probably because 'men' don't listen to what a woman is saying....they hear what they choose to hear. !

xxx

Note to MNHQ....

please can we have an 'irony' emoticon for those posters unable to recognise same.

The problem though with an emoticon for that purpose is that pointing out irony to someone who has missed it is ironic in itself.

Also a 'self-deprecating' emotican might be useful...perhaps a woman beating herself with a fish slice or rabbit or similar.

See why I'm single?????

Too ironic for my own good.

xxxx

I am really not sure what you are trying to say. You seem to have taken this thread entirely in the wrong way. Why don't you read what I have written instead of being such a grumpy so and so and assuming I am lambasting all men in one fell swoop?

Thanks btw Gettingagrip.

Niceguy - I haven't accused you of anything.

By Niceguy2 on Tue 20-Jan-09 11:06:24
Seriously? I'm being accused of being bitter, sarcastic and derisory????

-er, no. I said in my last post that you sounded quite bitter, which on this thread you do. I'm not sure why as you seemed quite cheerful when we spoke last week.

Have you read some of the really offensive things written about men on this site? LOL

-er, yes again, but did I write any of them? Don't think so, so why are you lumping me in with the men bashers?

So quickly people are jumping to the conclusion that I must be bitter & twisted. I'm not at all.

Sure, glad to hear it - I must have misinterpreted your earlier words.

Take time to get to know me and you would find that I am indeed a nice guy.

• right, ok.

But I speak my mind and i'm not apologetic if it isn't the usual "all men are sh*ts" mantra peddled often here.

• ? how much of MN have you actually read? Most of us don't say or think that at all.

Or that sometimes instead of lynching someone for daring to have a different opinion that i try not to judge and instead to understand their opinion.

• Ok but what has this to do with me?

Sorry, it just sounds like you're going off on one without much relevance to the thread. I'm not sure what I've even done to wind you up like this. please could you try and understand that no offence to men was meant in this thread, or if you can't accept that, point out the place(s) where you feel I have attacked men.

Thanks.

Oh forget it! Just carry on burning your bra's, slagging all men off then take offence when one dares to speak back.

No i'm not bitter, yes I have a sense of humour. Jeez some of you have real issues!

Oh I thought so.

Bye then...

I'm thinking yes but what is wrong with you right now actually

LOLOLOLOL!!!! @ ninah!

He's only been here a week or two, as well. Bless.

i always ask them whats wrong with them

I doubt many would come back with, 'Oh actually I'm a dim misogynist git but hey, fancy a drink?'

But at least they would be aware you were onto the possibility, Lou...

oh lordy lordy lol!
yurtgirl
mr cassanova?
hmmm theres a name that rings bells and not for the right reasons either lol
still one has to admire his spirit i guess!!