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Lone parents

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Original poster

Kids and Hobbies

32 replies

JZ7 · 14/01/2009 16:10

Hi,

Just want to ask if anyone has any views on frustrations or successes in helping keep up with kids interests when they also want and need to spend time with another parent.

I am posting my question for 3rd time as had no replies due to misunderstanding.

Cheers JZ

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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UnfortunatelyMe · 14/01/2009 16:30

Already established activity, before we split up continues, whoever has the kids takes them to it.
Any other activitys, I choose on MY days, and he of course is welcome to introduce them to other things in his time, but pigs will fly first

Original poster
JZ7 · 14/01/2009 16:39

Thanks for reply, yea I think that it gives a child clear safety net to know they can at least have one activity they can achieve in although its fine if the child wants to try something new later on. But I grew up with regular activities and know how these helped my self-esteem.

Lol, re, Pigs flying!

Cheers JZ

OP posts:
brightwell · 14/01/2009 18:03

Yes...it has caused real problems, ex lives 60 miles away which meant ds couldn't join the local football team as matches were on Saturday mornings, which meant every Saturday morning during the season. Couldn't have music lessons on a Friday evening, I would have to pay for 10 & he could only go to 5. Swimming lessons on Sunday afternoon because ex wouldn't bring dc home an hour earlier. My standard response to hom now is "do you think your actions are in dc's best interest????"

HelenBurns · 14/01/2009 20:08

Why do you want to know? You said you don't have any children?

Sorry am just not getting it.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 14/01/2009 20:32

thanks for that Helen
was thinking the same thing tbh

Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 04:00

Er why should I not ask questions then?

Because I have friends with kids I help taking out on trips, one has 4 and they don't take part in things like scouts or anything apart from one who does drama.

I don't understand why I have to keep proving my credibility for asking stuff just cos I don't have children.

Why does anyone of us post questions?

To learn, share, understand the world more,

be better people.

Cheers JZ

OP posts:
Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 04:06

Hi, Brightwell,

Yea my friend kind of has the same problem with her ex, not just with hobbies either.

Have you found any hobbies that are on during the week?

Ta for replying and good to see a genuine response!

OP posts:
HelenBurns · 15/01/2009 06:50

Because it is a parenting website, by parents, for parents. that's why it's called MUMSnet, see? Why don't you just suggest that your friends join MN and ask for help with this stuff themselves?
Also it's very hard to help without talking to the person actually in the situation.
Sorry.

Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 16:23

? Read the above, I am involved personally helping friends out they already use mumsnet! You need to read the mumsnet policy and actually mumsnet have confirmed in several emails that single, or non-single people who don't have kids are very Welcome on mumsnet, mumsnet actually is NOT only for parents, its for carers, nannys, dads, anyone who wants to Learn, share and understand the world.

The questions I have asked so far are from me and not my friends, and they are personal questions to Me! Its not soo hard trying to answer specific questions if you have a view relevant to the question.

If you have not got a genuine response to the question then theres no point in posting a response is there really?

Its really no-ones business whether members have kids or not, I thought we lived in a society of equal opportunities?

JZ

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 15/01/2009 16:35

its got nothing to do with what MN says
its just how we feel

HelenBurns · 15/01/2009 16:44

It's about motive, and sharing common ground, and if your friends are already members here why on earth you feel the need to ask about their problems on their behalf is beyond me.
But I can see that this is going nowhere so I won't post on your threads any more.

And please don't harass HQ for clarification of their policies, they are displayed on site for all of us to see and I am fully aware of them.

Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 17:23

WE well its only you who seems to have the problem and I am not postin on my friends behalf they are from my own experineces and the questions are not only related to my friends they are general interesting questions for people who want to answer.

Yea well maybe you need to put the policy to practice then !

OP posts:
Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 17:24

I can ask mumsnet about anything I want actually!

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 15/01/2009 17:42

er sorry but your requests appear to have fallen on deaf ears
maybe it's your attitude?
but no i won't post on any of your threads either

HelenBurns · 15/01/2009 17:48

Hi ASBM!
Did you get in touch with Niceguy yet?

Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 17:50

Good I am glad you two are as bad as each other there have been other people who have responded with a proper reply.

Maybe if you both had a better attitude then you will get a better response.

I never posted the initial posts with any attitude only until I had to keep repeating myself to ignorant unintelligent people

And its not only me who has been treated badly by a few mumsnet members either

You guys seem to want to contol the website a lot dont you?!

JZ

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 15/01/2009 17:55

bugger wasn't wanting to come back on this one
Hi Helen!
how are you?
and yes i did
we better get on alternative thread
apologies for hijack

HelenBurns · 15/01/2009 17:59

Ok asbm, sorry about that. Glad you had some luck though

skramblenotdieting · 15/01/2009 18:24

I was going to add my tuppenceworth on how I work out activities as I thought I was going to be sharing my personal experiences with another single parent who was trying to deal with similar things but.....

I don't really feel like discussing it with someone who just seems to be interested in random subjects and is seems to just be nosey.

Sorry I am sure you have your reasons for asking and wishing to discuss things on a lone parent thread but I don't get it, of course we could all be hairy arsed truckers anyway .

Original poster
JZ7 · 15/01/2009 18:58

hi, no am not being nosey and I reflect on my own experiences and compare them to my friends experiences and general stuff.

At the end of the day no would even know if anyone of members on here has kids or oooh maybe they are all journalists and trolls working as secret agents for the Government and 'the greater good of society'

Skramblenotdieting - I can understand your feelings and at least you are funny!
but I also had shared that I am asking cos of helping friends kids etc.. I have worked with kids with Autism and severe learning disabilities also in a respite home and it was the BEST experience and job ever ever ever!

OP posts:
skramblenotdieting · 15/01/2009 19:16

I think your approach has put a lot of people off though, your asking for a freind, who perhaps doesn't have a PC or can't type or what ever or have an apparent reason to be so interested in parenting discusions, it seems more like you want to stick your oar in and show off what you know.

Unfortunatly you come accros more as though you are on a mission to "help" everyone. Perhaps your freinds will be bored to tears anyway when you start telling tham all about what you have found out on line anyway . I know the reaction I get when I mention I found out some vital info from a discussion board. When their eyes roll I know its time to shut up.

Maybe you need to do a bit of lurking and get a feel for Mumsnet before jumping in. On the other hand you might have been lurking for years and have only just plucked up the courage to post. In that case oops .

HelenBurns · 15/01/2009 19:22

What Skramble and asbm and me are all trying to say, is that we came here out of desperation because we hit trouble with parenthood and needed help.

You don't sound like you are here because of that. We have all bonded through a shared desperation! You're not desperate enough!

I can't figure out why you are here. It all sounds very vague and confusing. We do get weirdos posting here so have to be vigilant and if someone comes across as disingenuous we are naturally sceptical.

But as I said there's not much point arguing about it. As you said, you can post on here if you like, but it doesn't mean people will want to talk to you especially if they can't figure out your reasons for being here. It isn't a networking site anyway, it's just a forum.

Have you tried facebook?

skramblenotdieting · 15/01/2009 19:29

Hey don't know if I like the desperation tag. Ok I admit it I chat on here because I am sad and lonely, but not desperate.

But I agree it is all about what brought us here, its about common ground and yes we can be a bit defensive but this isn't facebook (although the moldies seem to like that) or a random chat room its Mumsnet

HelenBurns · 15/01/2009 19:33

Aw sorry skramble

I was blardy desperate, I can tell you!!

skramblenotdieting · 15/01/2009 19:37

Ok I admit to having my desperate moments too, but its not all about desperation, sometimes its just about asking how much sugar to put in a crumble.

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