Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

post xmas come down - I feel really lonely :(

43 replies

ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:18

Had a fab christmas, with my whole family then a couple of days with friends, and just come back to my own house and I just feel really lonely

xh walked out 6 months ago, and spun me along for a good few of those months. In the meantime, I've had a couple of dates, and not really had much luck (that is, I didnt really like them, tho I know they liked me), and there's a guy I like but I dont know if he is interested or not and I'm too chicken to ask (hes a good mate, I dont want to jeapordise the friendship iyswim). And I know xh has his bit of stuff, which all just makes me feel really lonely. And I live in the arse end of nowhere and am trying to sell my house to get back to my hometown, but in this market it looks like I will be stuck here for ages

Not really any point to this, just a moan really. I need to vent to someone...

OP posts:

ninah · 01/01/2009 14:52

stick to it?! tell all - you're not on here ...

Original poster

ratbunny · 01/01/2009 16:05

right, thought I would update you all.
had a FAB time last night - stayed out til 4am, and met loads of really nice people. talked to my mate and I said I wasnt sure what I felt about him. he is really into me! He is really nice etc etc and we will be mates and if anything happens then that is good.
And in the meantime I totally copped off with someone else! oops. but he was very tasty and I havent had a good snog for ages. makes m e go all butterflies thinking of it. [bless emoticon]

A great night all round. so glad I went

OP posts:

mamalovesmincepiesANDmojitos · 01/01/2009 16:24

aw just read this thread, feeling a tiny bit lonely myself.

that is lovely ratbunny, glad you had a good night. life is all about living! well done.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 01/01/2009 16:52

way hey good for you!!
a good snog always does you good lol

ninah · 02/01/2009 08:59

fabulous! good one here, too. Happy 2009

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/01/2009 12:05

So anything new to report then ratbunny?

Original poster

ratbunny · 02/01/2009 13:07

well. I can't stop thinking about the guy I got off with. It all got a bit heavy, with me finding out that my mte was really into me but me not really knowing what to think about it, then another guy telling me really like me, and then getting off with a guy I did like all night. So I'm afaid I just ran away! lol

So now I have no way of contacting this guy, except through my mate and I dont want to hurt him, and I also dont know if tasty guy was just up for a 1 night stand anyway (which would have been great, except I ran away...). and I am just thinking I turned down a shag off and is there any getting it back!

what do I do? do I just leave it? or do I try to contact him? ffs this is so complicated.

But it sure beats sitting here moping about how lonely I feel!

OP posts:

Original poster

ratbunny · 02/01/2009 13:08

ffs my keyboard is doing my head in. apologies for the crappy post!

OP posts:

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/01/2009 14:36

oh shit men are like buses lol
but nice to have options too eh?

Original poster

ratbunny · 02/01/2009 14:43

just reread my post - 'turned down a shag off' pmsl. my bloody laptop - I type and then look up and its inserted all the text in the middle of my post!

OP posts:

aseriouslyblondemoment · 02/01/2009 14:49

lord obviously stronger will power than me ratbunny!!
but good to see it's putting a smile on your face lol!!

Original poster

ratbunny · 02/01/2009 15:15

yeah, and I really regret it now!

OP posts:

ninah · 03/01/2009 13:45

Yeah, the bus thing occurred to me too lol

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/01/2009 13:49

Well i guess that you need to hop on the next available one then lol!!

Original poster

ratbunny · 03/01/2009 16:34

you know, I have been thinking. I have been taking this way too seriously.
What I want with my mate is someone to go to gigs with, go to the pub with, to generally go out and have fun with. And maybe have the odd bit of casual sex with along the way. But I am NOT ready for a relationship. When it comes down to it, I dont have ANYONE to do those things with, and thats what I really want and need.
Do you think I should tell him? Or just carry on as we are, with him having feelings for me and me being 'not sure what I want from him'?

I think I am making this into something bigger than it is, but I dont want to lead him on or anything, but at the same time, the odd bit of casual sex etc is MUCH needed!

ffs I dont have a clue really!

OP posts:

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/01/2009 21:53

ratbunny that sounds exactly how i felt about the other guy who i saw when i wasn't sure where i stood with my BF
He would have given me all those things and he was such fun to be with and i can honestly say that he is one of the most remarkable people that i have ever met and i miss him terribly
I think if i'm truly honest with myself it was because he offered me the opportunity to make up for the lost time or my lost youth pre mummy days ie the pubs,festivals,gigs,matches etc..and yes highly wonderful he was amazing in bed toowhich i still wonder about...!!
But he was at the point in his life (late 30s)where he was also looking for that 'one'
to settle down with and have his own dcs with and that's not what i was looking for which is why he eventually cut off all contact with me
I'm also ashamed to admit that for purely selfish reasons i wish that i had met him long before my BF thou inevitably that would have caused pain too
I guess what i'm trying to say is that it's great not to sometimes get too wrapped up in things yourself and as alot of us single mums do we are quite able to purely put our needs first and foremost as we've come out of crap relationships
But as in my case some men do have feelings too which tbh has come as real wake up call to me

Original poster

ratbunny · 03/01/2009 22:07

yeah, definitely making up for lost time as it were - I had been married 14 yrs, and now I am getting out and about I am enjoying it immensely. Well, nothing happened at all, but I know he really likes me. I suppose he was willing to go out as a friend before I realised he liked me, and didnt expect anything so is there any reason he wouldnt still be my frined for going out with?
But he is said he does want kids, he is getting ready to settle down, he really felt something for me etc etc.
On a purely selfish note, I really want to stay his mate because he actually goes out, and it would be good to go out to places with a mate.

I suppose I am just wondering whether i have totally fucked everything up, I guess by saying I'm not ready for anything with him / I dont know what I feel about him. Maybe I should have just left it and not broached the subject at all, but when I found out he liked me but I was willing to cop off with his mate , I realised I wasnt ready for anything really but also didnt want to hurt him.

Bugger, I over-analyse dont I. lol

Fuck it. I will text him and see if he will meet up for a drink again next week. As mates. Worth a go isnt it.

And today, just to top it off I had xh asking me to take me back. NO WAY, I'm afraid. He has been total bastard to me and I'm not going back there. But the guilt is immense - like, despite everything HE did and the choices HE made, now it's ME who is stopping ds from having a family. Bloody mind games. I think this is why I want to be so honest with this guy - I am fed up with lies.

OP posts:

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/01/2009 22:20

see what he says..
and as for xhs well my response would be two worded lol!!

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread