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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

post xmas come down - I feel really lonely :(

43 replies

ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:18

Had a fab christmas, with my whole family then a couple of days with friends, and just come back to my own house and I just feel really lonely

xh walked out 6 months ago, and spun me along for a good few of those months. In the meantime, I've had a couple of dates, and not really had much luck (that is, I didnt really like them, tho I know they liked me), and there's a guy I like but I dont know if he is interested or not and I'm too chicken to ask (hes a good mate, I dont want to jeapordise the friendship iyswim). And I know xh has his bit of stuff, which all just makes me feel really lonely. And I live in the arse end of nowhere and am trying to sell my house to get back to my hometown, but in this market it looks like I will be stuck here for ages

Not really any point to this, just a moan really. I need to vent to someone...

OP posts:
Bauble99 · 28/12/2008 20:22

Aww. Sorry to hear this.

Don't feel lonely though. You've got US!

The post Christmas thing is crap, I agree.

ninah · 28/12/2008 20:22

Hello! know just how you feel
Had lunch with ex and his rellies today, back home to empty but chaotic house
Glad Xmas was good tho. And on the bright side, the dating thing should be a real ego boost! your story sounds similar to mine in the spinning along aspect, tho we are 2 years down the line now. Still uncomfortable but not so raw, does get better. Think you've done fantatically for first Xmas, can't remember a thing about my first one alone - oh yes except dd having e coli infection! was awful
Is the arse end of nowhere anywhere near Warwickshire?

Original poster
ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:23

cheers bauble
I guess sometimes I miss being able to cuddle up with someone infront of the tv, just chilling out with someone.

OP posts:
Bauble99 · 28/12/2008 20:23

Any chance you can rent your place out and rent in your hometown until the market improves?

Original poster
ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:25

no, not near warwickshire, in rural east anglia.
I suppose it is a boost to have had a couple of dates, but (and I KNOW it's early days!) I just feel I will be alone forever. unless I contact boring-man again (see an earlier thread...)

OP posts:
ninah · 28/12/2008 20:28

yeah, I remember, I have one of my own, and he's really quite nice.
You could send him pissed up love texts on New Year's Eve? always one of my better moves

Original poster
ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:31

pmsl at pissed up love texts. I am actually going to bloke-I-quite-like's new years party, but I will be too chicken to do anything...

OP posts:
ninah · 28/12/2008 20:33

No way! you have to! you're with him on NYE wow well if you don't get him under the goddam mistletoe there's no hope. And this is a woman who nearly went on a date in the JUNGLE

aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 20:35

you go girl nothing to lose!!
just get out and enjoy!!

Original poster
ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:40

yeah, but he is a mate, and embarrassing myself will just put a different sheen on the friendship. We havet been friends that long, but knew each other before iyswim. And it isnt like its just me and him, its a bloody party and there'll be loads of people there..
And anyway, he is totally unsuitable, I think I just need a shag
I am seeing jungle-guy again soon, to do some climbing together. he is really nice, but not my 'type'.
I am so glad I vented on here, cos you guys have made me feel better
guess its just the come down from being around people, texting my mates etc, and then coming back to an empty house (except ds of course, but he is in bed).
so much so, I nearly gave boring-guy a text...

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 20:45

Has he given you any indication that he'd like to be more than mates?
And why totally unsuitable?

ninah · 28/12/2008 20:47

Know what you mean lol
No nearly here though, undying love declared by text on Xmas Eve and again last night. Woke to read the out box with a shudder, and not one of passion. You are very good.

Original poster
ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:54

seriously blonde - no, he hasnt really, but I wouldnt pick up on the signs anyway, as I have been out of the game for so long. We have epic text sessions where we text each other all day (doesnt happen that that frequently, but once one of us texts the other it just goes on and on), and some of them get a bit flirty but in a jokey way, but I am SO out of the whole flirting thing I am shit at doing anything in real life, so we just go for a drink and have a laugh.

and he is unsuitable for many reasons (a lot of them prob in my head), but I think he is a bit of a lad iyswim (again, quite possibly in my head). Dont wanna be another statistic, and also got to look out for ds... My dilemma is just snog him and be done with it (if he is a lad he wont mind, and I can still be his mate), or coast and get to know him better...

I mean, I dont have to marry the man do I lol

OP posts:
Original poster
ratbunny · 28/12/2008 20:55

psml ninah - so are you into this guy or not (not been following that thread).
xmas is bad for drunken texting isnt it...

OP posts:
ninah · 28/12/2008 21:00

Sometimes I am. At wine o'clock mainly.
I fear I AM getting quite into him to be honest. He is not very good looking and he does have really dull traits, like saying 'oh well, it was all good fun etc', after some work disaster - you know
But he is nice and kind, has come back from being dumped by me once already, is good to the dc
Very different to my ex, and that is hard to deal with, even though ex was a complete rotter in the end I cared for him a great deal.
Maybe we just think too much. Whoever you go for it can be quite a scary process

ninah · 28/12/2008 21:02

off to clean kitchen now (slut) spk soon

aseriouslyblondemoment · 28/12/2008 21:36

oh ratbunny don't know what to say really i'm so bloody useless too when it comes to men.
I too got involved with a man who i got on brilliantly with (thou he's not your usual lad)and now he's decided to give me the silent no contact treatment.
It's all v sad and I do miss his texts and lengthy calls and his general putting-a-smile-on-my-face silliness.My heart too told me it couldn't have worked but i so loved to hear from him..

Original poster
ratbunny · 29/12/2008 09:02

seriouslyblonde - thats what I am scared of. Is is worth risking a friendship over? Or is it possible to muck about and still be friends afterwards?
He has invited me to stay over new years eve. Now I am not sure if its like that or if there will be lots of people staying over iyswim. Its so hard to not read too much into things isnt it...

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 29/12/2008 12:04

ratbunny in my case the attraction between us proved too strong and we had a short but v passionate fling which was great and I don't regret it
But I am so sad to lose him as a friend and as i said i still miss him,it was his choice to cut all contact with me without an explanation.
Saying that thou if we had maintained the friendship then we would doubtlessly have
still ended up in bed!!
It sounds a strong possibility that he is interested(very!!)from what you've said but at least you're aware of the possible risks involved.Do you know much about his general relationship history and whether he maintains friendships/contact with exs?

Original poster
ratbunny · 29/12/2008 12:38

yeah, well that is the thing. I dont think he has had any serious long term relationships - his longest was 5 yrs. Then again, a fling would be nice, but I would want to preserve the freindship and not just be a statistic iyswim. This is all assuming he is a lad like I think he might be (dont even ask why I think this, I just do)

Thats the thing - I dont know him that well cos we have always gone out and just had a laugh as mates, with some serious discussions but nothing about relationships etc (we got back in contact shortly after ex walked out). But he is very lovely to me, and kind and gentle and all those things my ex wasnt...

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 29/12/2008 13:12

ah its a tough one to call then
But hey NYE and going out lucky old you!!
and yes my friend is everything my ex wasn't which is what made him so special to me and I do so miss him

Original poster
ratbunny · 30/12/2008 21:26

just as an update, I have decided to NOT go for him. it wont be worth the fallout.
but I intend to have a good time out tomorrow night!

OP posts:
aseriouslyblondemoment · 30/12/2008 21:43

so i put you off?
ah thats hard i feel for you but you're obviously thinking about the bigger picture which is what i tried to do
but i still miss him thou it's pointless..
and i have a perfectly lovely bf who i almost finished with for him!!
enjoy tomorrow nite and good luck xx

aseriouslyblondemoment · 30/12/2008 21:43

so i put you off?
ah thats hard i feel for you but you're obviously thinking about the bigger picture which is what i tried to do
but i still miss him thou it's pointless..
and i have a perfectly lovely bf who i almost finished with for him!!
enjoy tomorrow nite and good luck xx

aseriouslyblondemoment · 31/12/2008 13:17

oh dear ratbunny what a cheery posting that one was and i even sent it twice lol
am blaming xmas/NYE/pmt and yep a vino or two!!
Hope you have a lovely time 2nite..
and keep us posted!! xx

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