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Lone parents

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Original poster

my sis has just had her son taken of her...

45 replies

missxvamp · 23/12/2008 11:04

my sister has had her son removed from her yesterday because she is depressed and also there was some neglect im afraid. shes been threw a awful lot the lil boys dad is agressive and abusive and since bein wiv him she had 2 move 2 many diff refuges etc becoz he kept finding her. nyway the worst happend yesterday and they took him from her it was awful i was there as i had looked after him and my daughter all day. anyway she is of course devastated and jus in shock i mean rite b4 xmas as well. there appealing against it becoz her silicitor is fuming!!! can anyone jus tell me if this has happend 2 them or nyone they know? and also how hard will it b 2 get him bk if at all?

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gokwancarr · 23/12/2008 11:09

my heart goes out to you all, sorry can't be any help tho. hope your sis manages to get better and is reunited with her son xx

Hassled · 23/12/2008 11:09

I feel really sorry for your sister - she must be going through hell. But if there was some neglect, is it possible this is maybe the best thing for her boy while she sorts herself out a bit more?

Original poster
missxvamp · 23/12/2008 11:15

yes she did say this cud b a gud thing she needs 2 sort her head out n fite 4 him i will supposrt her all i can. im just also very upset that we cnt c him only my sis can. my daughter loves him 2 bits and visa versa wwe will miss him soooooooooo much.

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MrsGokWan · 23/12/2008 12:37

It might be worth getting in touch with the MP John Hennings. He is campaigning against this sort of theing, he also posts on here. If someone has the CAT system perhaps they could point him in the direction of this post.

Dropdeadfred · 23/12/2008 12:41

could he stay with you? if they let him? or would they be worried that she would get him back from you?

is she going to get rid of her partner?

sorry this has happened, but i feel sorrier for the litle boy

tessofthedurbervilles · 23/12/2008 12:57

This is the wake up call that might prove to be a blessing in the long run. If she uses this as the turning point to sort herself out and fight for him back then, with support, she can have him back and be the mum he needs her to be...good luck xx

SleighGirl · 23/12/2008 13:02

my undertanding is that you (or other family members) can ask to look after him on her behalf as his "foster parents". Is that a possibility?

Original poster
missxvamp · 23/12/2008 14:14

welll no they wont let me hav him bcoz im also preg n half a 16 month old daughter. also my grandparents do want him but the social serv want him in foster care!!! ermmm shes not wit abusive partner and hasnt been 4 a long while. thats jus a dumb reason they sed about 2 take him from her. shes not even in contact wit him. she jus needs sum supposrt n reall help. this was took 2 far as she doesnt hit him and hes always clothed and dressed and bort new things wen he needs them etc. the social workers kept laffing at her yesterday as i was there and saw that happen.

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MrsGokWan · 23/12/2008 14:45

If they were laughing at her then that needs to be reported by letter to the managers, that is horrendous.

notevenamousie · 24/12/2008 15:56

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it is... I hope you and your sister can get through these next few days and make the right thing happen the other side of Christmas. I hope your nephew is ok, above all things, too.

pantomimEDAMe · 24/12/2008 16:01

missxvamp, I'm so sorry, it sounds hideous. I think you should ask your sister's solicitor whether he can apply for contact/residence on your behalf or that of your other family members who are willing to look after the poor little mite. Or he may say you need to get your own solicitor, not sure. What would your sister want? (Obviously her boy back but in the meantime, would she like him to be with a family member?) DO write down what happened, especially the SWs laughing. Notes may prove useful when it comes to having your nephew returned, as I hope he will be.

Original poster
missxvamp · 24/12/2008 23:48

well evryone im jus rather upset atm my sis didnt deserve this buttttttt shes not helping herself either by jus gettin drunk!!! she didnt want 2 b wit me 4 xmas bcoz she sed it upset her seeing me n my daughter 2gether being happy. i mean ok this was a bit ott buttt saying that she got herself in this position didnt she ya see. she cud hav stopped this from happening by bein a better mother as harsh as that sounds they dont take kids 4 nothing. guaranteed it was physical harm butt there was neglect. he will hav a good xmas tho. and as 4 family having him well my grandparents want him but it will take time as assesments need doing n wat not. i wud hav him but im 21 and will hav 2 kids come march i jus wudnt b able 2 cope at least im honest. i jus hope my grandparents get him. and i hope my sister trys her very best 2 fite 4 him. all i can do is try supposrt her. but sayin that sum truth needs 2 b sed at times and it hurts her wen i say it but i say look u have 2 change u know u did wrong n now u must correct it i tell her straight drinking wont help etc. but rite now theres not much i can do. ill wait till after xmas i think thats best. shes choice 2 saty on her own tho which i dont agree wit. i jus hope she doesnt keep drinking alot else she will hiy a downwould spiral n never get her son back. my thiughts are with my lovely nephew me and my daughter miss him very much. u shud c how they play 2gther its very heartbreaking wen i think about it now i miss him so much. i best go im gettin myself upset i dont even get 2 wish him happy xmas

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Original poster
missxvamp · 24/12/2008 23:50

i meant guaranteed it WAS NOTTT physical harm sorry im tired

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Original poster
missxvamp · 24/12/2008 23:50

i meant guaranteed it WAS NOTTT physical harm sorry im tired

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lisad123 · 24/12/2008 23:59

soo sorry to hear all this, must be so hard for you all.
You can ask to see him and they should let you tbh, especially as you took care of him. Any memeber of family can apply to look after him and they have to assess, not just say no.
It is possible to get him back but she needs to get herself some help and prove she can get it herself as well as with support.
Just some extra info for you, your grandparetns will be asked if they will be able to support ss agreement on contact with mum, so if they say only visits from 12-4pm daily, then they have to be strong enough to see it though, its a real hard one.
Your very brave admitting you cant take him, and please dont feel you should, you need to be strong for your babies
I hope your sister gets herself sorted asap, HTH

lisad123 · 25/12/2008 00:00

oh and you can spend him pressies and letters too if you want.

Original poster
missxvamp · 25/12/2008 12:15

well we was told other family prob cudnt c him for 6th month or so. but my sister is tryin 2 sort out access 4 me and my daughter because we were closest family ya c and my daughters very young n needs 2 c paul else she wud forget him n we dont want that happening. so hopefully all that will b sorted. thankfully my sister is now coming over 2 mine not sure how much taxi will b tho lol ohhh dear :S anyway we will try sort summat out xx

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lisad123 · 25/12/2008 12:31

ring the social worker and ask for contact, you really should be allowed unless there is any reason, which i cant see tbh.
If you have no luck with social worker, get to work with lawyer, you are a;llowed and for his best intrest you should. How old is he by the way?

nappyaddict · 25/12/2008 13:18

Aww sorry to hear this how old is your nephew? Is he with foster carers? What about your parents could they apply to look after him aswell? The more people willing to apply the more chance you have of family looking after him. I understand if you don't want to say but how did she neglect him?

Original poster
missxvamp · 25/12/2008 13:22

my nephew is 2 and a half. he is lovely he has had loads pressies 2day n im sure he will hav a lovely day. im in middle of doin xmas meal lol shud b done soon.

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nappyaddict · 25/12/2008 13:24

luckily he is probably at the age where he shouldn't be too upset by it all if that helps

Original poster
missxvamp · 25/12/2008 13:29

no my paents cant hav him dads in usa and mum sed she cant hav him. mums no help nyway. n neglect well she didnt register him wit docs or nyfin she had no rountine she didnt bother wit him much was always on her laptop or doing other stuff she put others first etc jus thigs like that really. i hope 2 god she never finds n joins this site lol

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nappyaddict · 25/12/2008 13:34

are you sure it wasn't more than that. they wouldn't take a child away just cos the mum is on the laptop a lot and doesn't have a routine with him. i think that would describe a lot of mums on here!!

Kristingle · 25/12/2008 13:38

please get a solicitor, you should be able to get legal aid if you are not working. SS are very good at just ignoring family and telling them what suits them rather than what is in the child's best interest. it will be hard for you and your sister to fight them on your own, especially as you are young, they will just ignore you. please PLEASE see someone on monday

you must act fast, or SS will say that paul is settled where he is and argue that he shouldnt be moved

Original poster
missxvamp · 25/12/2008 15:55

i know thats wat SS want 2 do as well. and as 4 is that all she did well i really dnt know i wasnt allowed in court ya c only she was as im not his parent so ill never really know the ins n out my sister will only tell me wat she wants i guess. nyway xmas is ruined she came round 2day n was very aggreseiva and nasty n it was upsettin me and my daughter n im 8 months preg nearly i jus didnt need all this shit today. i really dunno y i want 2 help her sumtimes. now shes jus making me feel guilty by feeling sorry 4herself which gets u nowhere does it.

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