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How would you feel at a party where you are the only single person?

26 replies

elastamum · 21/12/2008 19:36

This happened to me last night. It was lovely to get the invite, the only one Ive had in my newly single status, but I was left feeling like some kind of alien

OP posts:
FeelingOld · 21/12/2008 20:08

Yeah you can feel very lonely in a room full of people, i know i have been there.

IllegallyBrunette · 21/12/2008 20:09

Oh yeah I know that feeling.

alipiggie · 21/12/2008 20:10

It's hard isn't it. Been like that sadly for two years now. Luckily I've got brilliant friends who always make me feel welcome.

solidgoldprawnring · 21/12/2008 20:12

It would depend how obvious the couples make it. If everyone kind of wears their partner all night to demonstrate that they've got one it would be a very tedious evening, if people are generally mingling and chatting it shouldn't be too bad. (Though if everyone's first question is along the lines of 'Where's your partner/what does your partner do?' then it would be grim as well).
Best way to get through something like that is to play Couple Row Bingo ie guess which couples are going to have a row and what about.

elastamum · 21/12/2008 20:26

Like the idea of couple bingo! Fortunatley most people were happy to mingle and there where a few I knew. I am finding it hard to have to explain to people where my X has gone. I went to a party a few weeks ago and must have had that conversation about 15 times with people I hadnt seen for a while, eventually I got plastered and fell asleep upstairs

OP posts:
MollieO · 21/12/2008 20:43

I find dinner parties difficult as well-meaning friends always try and hook me up with a single friend of theirs. Usually the only thing we have in common is we are both single! I tend to avoid them these days unless I can't find a suitable excuse. Also get a bit fed up with the lone parent pity brigade. Smug marrieds mostly assume that life must be a living hell if you are on your own with children. My ds has just started school so no one knows my lone parent status other than my ds's teacher.

aseriouslyblondemoment · 21/12/2008 21:57

yes its all pretty hideous did one of these a while ago with my dcs and I was fine til the end bit when everyone was dancing with their OH and there was me sat all on my own!But will def give the couples bingo idea a go sounds like the way forward!!

allgonebellyup · 21/12/2008 22:25

yeah i come across this a lot. Especially going out for dinner when everyone is in a couple and i get plonked on the end on my own

solidgoldprawnring · 21/12/2008 22:31

I think it's probably a lot harder if you have only recently split up with a partner you were living with and not everyone knows yet (so lots of 'oh, where's (X)P tonight then). But I'm a longterm single and fairly used to hanging out with mixed couples and singles. About the only time I go anywhere I'm the only single girl in the place it's a swinging club so I know I've got a threesome to look forward to...(Disclaimer, this may not work for everyone.)
In ordinary social situations, though, I would find it a bit peculiar to be at an event that was couples-only. Do people still do that?

Amazoniancracker · 21/12/2008 22:41

I have a lot of difficulty when asked the 'so do you have a dp/dh' question.

'Banging whores' just sounds bitter.

Even if I say it nonchalantly: 'he's bangin'ores. Can you pass me those crisps mate? ta...' still sounds like I'm making it up.

skrimbo · 21/12/2008 22:47

Don't think I could have managed last year, but now, yes if they were a sociable lot, could stand smug marrieds who hang off each other all night.

Come to think of it last year I went to a works dinner dance thing, lots of couples, not all though and exH was there (my boss), it was horrific thankfully most of the group knew or were very quickly informed when we both sat at different tables. I sat besdie big boss who was very nice to me all night.

Got rat arsed and bubbled in someones ear for a while, but thankfully went home alone and only had a little hangover .

TinselianAstra · 21/12/2008 22:50

Could be worse - you could be the only single girl and there could be one single guy. Anyone for s set-up?

solidgoldprawnring · 21/12/2008 22:51

I do rather wonder why so many people ask other people about their partners in a way that seems to be assuming that everyone has a partner. I think it's only remotely relevant if you're chatting someone up (and have been known, when pissed feeling mischevious to say to anyone who asks the 'are you married' question: Why do you ask? I don't want to sleep with you.

Amazoniancracker · 21/12/2008 23:07

skrimbo, pmsl at 'bubbled' in someones ear. How do you do that? A party trick I might try. (not taking the mick.. a genuinely funny typo) Like the 'I dont want to sleep with you' idea..

how 'bout 'yes I am married but I still want to sleep with you? And your wife..Do you have a hamster too?'

raisinbran · 22/12/2008 08:55

I find it also frustrating that you can't have a drink as you have to drive yourself home all the time.

moosh · 22/12/2008 11:42

As long as I knew all the couples, I'd probably be fine. I'd get horrendously drunk and probably take the piss out of myself for being the only person without a guy. I seem to do that alot anyway !!!!

I'd rather be the only single person there than there be a single guy that my friends were trying to set me up with that I didn't fancy. Now that would be scary !!!!

Simplysally · 22/12/2008 11:58

This often happens to me but I've gone back years with lots of people so I just rotate around to talk to everyone. It can be tricky though and it is a bit irritating when you have to drive/do the cab thing yourself.

It's also rather nice not having to negotiate when you leave though as you do when you are in a couple and one person gets bored .

skrimbo · 22/12/2008 23:55

Can I just clarify bubbling is crying in a quiet sobbing sort of pathetic way.

solidgoldstuffingballs · 23/12/2008 20:35

If you want to drink, either cab it or (if its available) use public transport. At the risk of going off into a ranty hijack it has always annoyed me the number of women who refuse to use public transport at night (in areas where there is plenty of it).

stitch · 23/12/2008 20:47

my sister is quite often the only single person. but she is happily single, rather than unhappily coupled up. and would rather be there, than not. and i would rather her be there, than have to attend some tedious affair where she was not welcomed.

spicemonster · 23/12/2008 20:53

I am often usually the only single person when I go out with my old friends so I am used to it. I think it's horrible if you're newly single. If you're me, it's a bit odd to be with someone

Actually that shouldn't be a happy face should it but I'm not very sad that I'm single tbh

skrimbo · 23/12/2008 22:58

I think we should start a smug single club, so we can take joy in being happy and single and not be one of those bickering couples.

Amazoniancracker · 23/12/2008 23:45

I second the smug single club.

I can do smug (memories flooding back now of when I was a smug miserably-married; all those frightening moments where I had to get on planes and trains alone because he was such an unbearable strange person)..yes! I sign up to the smug-single contract:

You are happy
You are single
You know you can leave cleaning the bog til tomorrow or the week after because no men will be lifting the seat up
You can play shit or girly songs on your ipod
You are perfectly capable of putting the bin bags out
You can ask normal people for help with busted or difficult things/items instead of your irritated husband who would rather be wanking

You can have blankets instead of a duvet

Dove soap instead of imperial leather

Rub noses like an eskimo with your baby and not have your husband say 'you're making him gay'

You can watch Space Pirates without being interrupted by someone who nicks the remote to see what time University Challenege starts

SuperBunny · 24/12/2008 00:04

Nice list, amazonian

harpomarx · 24/12/2008 00:09

ooh, Amazoniancracker - your ex sounds a catch. Imperial Leather and University Challenge! Did he wear those man cardies with the leather elbows?

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