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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

CSA Miracle at Christmas! LOL

26 replies

glitterfairy · 20/12/2008 18:13

I nearly fell off my chair this morning when i got a sorry letter form the CSA with a £50.00 compensation for the way they have handled my case.

Of course not what I want ie payment from my x but in the meantime will buy a few bottles of red or three over Christmas which I was not expecting.

I got my MP involved and then didnt give up rebutting every one of their excuses via him every time they wrote to him. This has been going on and off for three years now and maybe this time we will see some results. An apology was a good start!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Prettyfull · 20/12/2008 20:14

Woo hooo lol thats fab!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS he he

gillybean2 · 21/12/2008 02:41

Urm, surely any CSA money you receive is meant to be for the children and you should be looking at spending it on them rather than yourself... Or are they sharing the red wine with you perhaps...

Sorry to be a downer but rushing out to spend extra money on yourself when you've not been getting any maintenance seems at odds with what you want/need/require maintenace for.

Just my opinion of course!

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 21/12/2008 02:48

yay that's great glitter

gilly - if you manage to keep you money separate for each purpose then hats off to you.

However for many of us all money that comes in goes into a big pot and is spent on what is is needed. In this case the OP has obviously been giving her children what they need without the maintenance so this is simply an extra £50 - which will provide a happier mummy for her DS's.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 21/12/2008 02:50

and actually reading the OP again this isn't Child Maintanance money - it's compensation money - for the OP so it is by rights hers to spend as she pleasess.

gillybean2 · 21/12/2008 10:03

I would say it's compensation to her children for not getting the money they should have had by now. As the adult handling teh claim on behalf of the children the money has been paid to her, but still because of the children.

Getting pizza for you all with maintenance money is one thing. But spending £20 on a pizza for yourself is insane imo. What kind of pizza costs £20!? I never spend that much even when we visit pizzahut together and get food for us both, drinks and icecream for ds.

I only ever spend money that is meant for my ds on him or on things we do together that I couldn't afford to otherwise (such as a trip to pizza hut). It's his money not mine. That's just me though I guess.

Tinkerbel6 · 21/12/2008 11:35

glitterfairly at least you know that the CSA are acknowledging you so they might get your maintenance sorted out next year, enjoy the money.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 21/12/2008 12:36

well lucky for you that you don't just have to lump all income to your household into one big fat (well rather scrawny actually) lump and use where needed.

And the pizza was perfect pizza, I ordered pizza, and some sides which I kept for dnner yesterday.

Presuming the children have everything they need why should't a mother be able to treat herself??

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 21/12/2008 12:43

without maintenance children get what they need and the mother goes without. I see no problem with the OP spending compensation on herself, if shes happier her dc's will be too

Coldtits · 21/12/2008 12:48

Gillybean you appear to be suggesting my children go without when I don't get maintenance - whereas in fact I go without.

They still get everything I can afford to ggive them. SO when I got a £270 lump payment last week from the CSA, having gone without since August, having already bought the children their Christmas presents, having kept their lives as they have always been without HINT to them that the cash had stopped, I thought I deserved some underwear that doesn't have holes in and some shoes that I can do a 10.5 hour shift in without wanting to cry.

YOu clearly organise your finances differently (and rigidly), which makes me fear for your children should your maintenance ever sto - how will you provide for them without THEIR money?

Simplysally · 21/12/2008 12:49

I don't see the point in the child wearing nice clothes and their mother going around in rags.

I get maintenance for my dd and part of it pays some of my rent/bills (all my money goes into one pot which pays for everything we need) I couldn't afford to invest the money left from that once I've paid dd's "bills".

Original poster

glitterfairy · 22/12/2008 07:58

HI Gilly I dont separate money and so far all and I mean all my Christmas present money from my family including £100 from my brother to spend on something nice for me has gone on the tree, food and outings (school) and presents for the kids friends. So even though what I said was tongue in cheek about the red wine frankly I a) deserve it and if b) I split my money up into mine and theirs they would not have eaten for the last week!

I spend every penny I have on my kids including money given to me expressly to be spent on things for me. It is rare that I drink and this is, after all Christmas. To be honest my kids beg me to spend something on myself most of the time and we can easily compare that to my x who spends everything he has on him!

I find your response po faced at best, pedantic and overly judgmental at worst. I cannot imagine having enough money for all of us to be able to split my budgets up into a them and ours scenario we are a family not individuals.

Coldtits that is exactly how I feel!

OP posts:

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 22/12/2008 08:15

Ah there it is can't you smell it Ladies ??

This years must have scent.....Eau de Burning Marytr.

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 22/12/2008 08:19

tessofthedurbervilles · 22/12/2008 13:20

A couple of wines as a treat out of money compensating for the stress she has incurred should not be begrusdged?

Original poster

glitterfairy · 22/12/2008 15:55

Of course not and frankly the more I thought about this the more cross I got. BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer LOL! [fsmiley]

Children do not need mums who martyr themselves and like their mums to have some fun as well. I think a them and us culture at home is not only unsustainable but counter productive.

OP posts:

ThisMUTTIsJustForChristmas · 22/12/2008 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

glitterfairy · 22/12/2008 16:09

Thanks, my kids call me mutti!

I will now settle down and wait for the schedule of payments and then for any money to turn up!

OP posts:

shelleyloukissessantaselves · 22/12/2008 21:39

thats the best bit gf, especially if its backdated. i recently found out how much my first payment will be and has made my year unfortunately wont get it in time for christmas but will be a goo new year

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 22/12/2008 21:44

we were talking about this today weren't we Shelley (I know very sad - a whole day no-where near the computer and we still talked about MN things )

You know I wonder if gillybean keeps her CTC, and Child Benefit (and CSA money - should she even get it???) to spend soley on the children - bet she doesn't.

Lovesdogsandcats · 22/12/2008 21:56

Gillybean, you are the perfect mother, who never buys herself ANYTHING because ALL your money goes on the children, is that correct?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 22/12/2008 22:01

Why havent I got £50? I want £50 off them . All I get is is yet another letter telling me that the other party has cancelled the claim can you imagine that converstation?
CSA; hello mr x would you like to pay maintenance for your child?
Mr.X; Not really I'd rather buy beer
CSA; Okay Mr.X that's fine we'll just go ahead and cancel that claim for you.
Mr.X; Thank you

Serioulsy though, thats fab for you. Glad to see that they are almost working for some people. Enjoy your vino

IllegallyBrunette · 22/12/2008 22:03

Well I spend mine on driving lessons.

Obviously when I pass I will never go anywhere in the car that benefits my children at all

AnarchyInAManger · 22/12/2008 22:05

I got £115 in compensation earlier this year - in nearly 4 yrs they have collected about £30 in maintainance

I just threw it into the family finances and we both benefitted for a week or so - did the shopping without adding it up as we went round, had some new shoes for DD, got some nice wine and a takeaway for me.

If I relied on the maintainance to feed/clothe DD she'd be starving and nekkid! She gets what she needs first and I make do with whats left.

AnarchyInAManger · 22/12/2008 22:08

Oh and shesells - my claim keeps getting stopped because the CSA can't get their heads round the fact he has more than one child by more than one woman

Every time there is a problem with one case, they put all three on hold

And every time he signs on/off to avoid New Deal (ie getting a job).

And every time he tries to get on the sick for spurious reasons.

And every time he moves in with another woman and starts another joint claim.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 22/12/2008 22:14

Is it just me or is the CSA just a big pile of bollocks? I'm mean surely it can't be that hard. Local councils etc can manage to put attatchments on your earning if you don't pay council tax why can't the CSA manage?

Apparently I have 30 days to appeal if I think the other party has made the wrong descion. Oh and any maintence owed to me from the period before being cancelled will still be payable. So that'll be 5 years worth then? I won't hold my breath on that.

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