As in I can't seem to cope with him at the minute. we're back to not sleeping again, I have 6 glorious hours with him in the creche while I go to the gym but that's all the time we have apart. I'm snapping at him when I really shouldn't be, and tbh we're more like doing things along side each other.
I miss my life before I had him - hell my life before I got married! I miss working FT and doing what I wanted. I'm worried that DS's needs aren't being met at the minute, and it breaks my heart to thing about it/him not being around, but I really need a break.
and it feels so selfish as he is a good little boy for the most part, and I don't want to be the sort of mother who does nothing with her DC (althou we do reading, swimming, groups, cooking, painting etc together). Everyone else finds him a dream, and he seems to prefer being in their company.
i'd be devastated if anything happened to him, but just lately i'm really feeling the responsibility again of doing this alone.
maybe it's time to get back to the dr's and get some AD's this time??
on the other hand thou I won't have him live with XH (ie au pair) or XMIL.
not sure what i'm asking but I need to do waht's right for DS, and i'm not sure if being with me is right at the mo.
(oh n XH today sent a letter thru from the bank to change the addresses on the accounts - currently going thru getting that all sorted out) - and also saw a solicitor yesterday re the divorce have an apt next thurs.