Does everybody hate us?

[beansmum]

I have been really surprised by the recent threads about single parents. I have never before felt like people thought I was 'scrounging' or that I shouldn't be allowed to SAH. Do people just hide their feelings better in RL? Do all my friends actually think I should get off my arse and get a job? Do they constantly worry about their tax money supporting me?

I must be quite far down the list of people deserving of help as well. My husband didn't die, I wasn't abused, I always knew I was going to be a single parent. AND I have never paid tax.

Blimey I must have met the we hate single mums and dads threads!

Perhasp I just dont look. I guess this is the joy of the internet why read it it if is boring or rude?

Some of the posts here are heartbreaking though and whilst I feel how hard it is with three no support and help and working full time I wouldnt have it any other way.

i admire single parents greatly.
you do a wonderful job

someone was rude to me when i was was living with my dp who is now my husband.
they where laughing about a joke, i said oh what are you laughing at, one of them replied oh its a joke for married people!

the other one looked really embarressed and said oh shes as good as married, which kibda made me feel even worse, like it was pity sympathy.

now im happily married to who was then my live together partner with a dd.
she is a single mum.

so it doesn't ever pay to be smug as you can end up looking like a twat

You know, to all those smug marrieds who have started posts jeering at single parents, beware of who you mock.

I never chose to be a single parent and until last summer I wasn't. Unless they have an absolute cast iron marriage then how do they know they won't find themselves in the same position.

And I worked from leaving school until having dts (so about 14 years tax paid.) Benefits is not something I ever thought I would have to rely on. The one time before I did sign on I lived off my savings rather than take benefits. Not so easy now I haven't a penny (thanks in most to ex-dh.)

As a situation it is not ideal due to the stigma given to our children yet my dts are doing well in school and I put every effort into ensuring that they will be allowed to do whatever they wish when they are older - not to go into some cycle of benefits as seems to be expected. Plus I find I am a better mum now I am alone, less stressed and worried without (ex) dh messing us around.

If people want to be ignorant and prejudice then let them, as I said, there may be one day when they find themselves in the same position having people be nasty to them.