How on earth do you meet someone new???

[mojoawol]

I am 38, have 3yr old DS, been single for 2 yrs now, and really thought I might have met someone by now. But when/how can this happen? I work in a fairly small company, with no love prospects. Ex works nights most of the time, and have no-one else to collect DS from childminder/babysit if I want to go out, so nights out are rare and usually spent catching up with friends rather than trying to meet someone. I have childless friends the same age as me who have been single for ages, if they can't find someone when they have all the opportunities to go out - what chance do I have?
I have tried internet, but no joy. All I seem to get is odd-balls contacting me, any guys I like the profiles of say 'no kids already' in their profiles (what the hell is with that anyway - are we THAT monstrous??).
I think I have probably forgotten how to talk to a man, let alone be 'intimate' (see, I can't even say it without sounding awkward), but Jesus, I want a shag!

Im up north (having moved recently!) am single and like many others havent really got the opportunities to go out on the pull so to speak.... Sounds really sad but I havent really any friends up here at all (moved in August) I work in a school in a rural area so no after workl drinks as driving is involved for everyone so was also thinking I might try internet - whats good then? reccs would be helpfull oh and can you say not really looking for a full on relationship more friendship or would that put blokes off as well?

I am in the same position as many of you. Am a single parent, with a four year old and a one year old. I have been on my own since the beginning of the year and feel ready to start living life to the full again. I am tired of being on my own now and would love to meet someone for companionship, fun and to share my life with. Trouble is none of my friends are single so I don't get out as much as I would like even though exh has the children on a regular basis. I'm not really sure where to start.

I've been a single parent for 6 years now. It's really hard to meet anyone, when all your friends are in relationships, and it's not easy to arrange nights out anyway. I've always felt uneasy about internet dating. In fact, it's so long since I've dated it's a scarey prospect to start again!

i'm also unwilling to try internet dating but getting tired of singledom - seems to be lasting forever having been a single sp for over 10 years with only a brief interlude here and there. doesnt help that i work till 6 or 7 most days and weekends tend to be so busy theres hardly time to get out on the pull

wouldnt think that telling anyone you want to start with friendship would be offputting. is often the way people start out as you never know where things can lead.

i have heard good and bad stories about internet dating but as with upsydaisy, most of my friends are couples and very rarely get to go out anyway i think that it can be the same as dating in rl but it seems more scary for one reason or another.

Hi everyone....this post is really of interest to me as i have recently started doing internet dating for much the same reasons of most of you...i've been single for 5 yrs now, and quite frankly sick of it!! The thing I am finding most off putting is that you spend so much time corresponding with someone then when you finally meet up there is Zero Chemisty.....then all that excitement and anticipation is replaced by dissapointment, and a feeling of what a waste of bloody time! then you have to muster up the energy to start all over again, i'm just finding it soooo tedious.

since splitting up with exdp over a year ago i have tried online dating -had a couple of dates with nice men and met a lovely lovely one in February who I would marry tomorrow (not that I've told him )

I think the key is to exchange telephone numbers and to talk fairly soon - you can tell immediately if you re going to like someone from a phone conversation. If you don't like them move on rather than waste precious childfreee time on agonising meetings

I did have a lodger who would babysit and a lovely next door neighbour who would say that she might as well be in my house watching the tv as in hers which helped enormously. Unfortunately the lodger has fallen in love and the neighbour has moved away so my wings are clipped at the moment!

I've given up on internet dating..

in fact I've given up on all dating.

i'm now relying on fate

oh noooo Mascara - I relied on that to meet ex dp who turned out to be a nob.

I agree MascaraOHara...... I split with ex dp 8 1/2 months ago. Ok in that time I've had two guys. The first was just a sex only thing..... great while it lasted but I knew I deserved better, so I ended it. Met a guy, a normal guy, through a Speed Dating Party in Piccadilly. Dated him a few months all going swimmingly well. Fantastic in fact, then something happened (Can't be bothered to go into details). Lets just say I got hurt and I have reacted like I did when I split up with the only man I say I ever loved 16 years ago , not my ex.

My reaction to the split really shocked me didn't think I'd be as cut up as I was, I felt a physical loss and pain. I still miss him and I am steering clear of all men for a very, very long time. Not gonna let myself get hurt like that again.

waves at MOH

I srarted off by being really anti internet dating then I found a site I liked, then felt very cautious, then really enjoyed it for a bit of fun, met one guy for lunch no chemisty meeting another for lunch this weekend. Not sure about it really. We have talked alot on phone but not sure about chemistry.

But alongside the dabbling in online stuff as MOH knows I have been seeing an ex bf on and off who like you moosh I dated about 16 years ago was crazy about him then and still am now. Think he likes me but not as much as I do him. And is currently AWOL.

TBH I am more cut up about him than the break up of my marriage.

So think if weekend goes badly I am going to give it a rest and leave to fate.

And also I find it really difficult to get out and can't really see how I could develop anything much with anyone anyway.

BUT I have found the online site an ego boost if nothing else and makes me realise that if I just wanted a man then that could easily happen. But of course I don't want to settle and am also very very wary of something going wrong again.

NB dfficult to go our due to babysitting costs and exh not stepping up to the plate.

I'm also in the position of thinking I'll never meet anyone else. My youngest is only 4, so it's difficult for me to get out in the evening, and I don't know anyone I trust enough with the kids. My eldest is coming up for 14, so she'll be able to babysit soon, but she's still a bit too young isn't she?

I don't know about you, but I miss just having male company, as opposed to a partner (although there are obvious things I miss about that . But as a single Mum a lot of people see you as a threat I think.

(i'm in North West SingleDad, lol)

ive realised lately my best chance of meeting someone is shopping in tesco. is about the only place i get to where theres other people. trouble is its always late at night when i'm pretty well knackered and wander round in autopilot.

and north west sounds west to me, when i'm over on the east coast - just across a bit from whitby.

do know what you mean about missing female company in lots of ways tho, can only talk cars with the kids for so long. really miss having someone to curl up with late at night.

Internet dating is definitely the way to go. Ok, it's harder if you've got kids, but loads of men in their late 30s have got kids too, and want someone who won't be put off with theirs!

I did it for four years on and off and had two happy relationships out of it before meeting The One.

Stick at it. Maybe change sites if there are way more weirdos than eligible blokes?

LOL SDO3, I used to say that about me meeting someone in Asda, but now I shop online, so don't even have that as an option.

I am quite negative about online dating tbh, but it does seem to work for lots of people so i'd say it is worth a go, just don't expect miracles.

arghh - shopping inline? have thought about it as i hardly get chance as it is to go, but its a bit of an escape at the end of the day and it usually means the kids will have washed up/ironed by the time i ge back. sad as itll sound its a change of scenery and get to natter to the checkout people for a few minutes about nothing...is a bit sad isnt it

and hobnob - you found The One? - that is so cool, guess if you look hard enough in the right place anything is possible

i'm ever hopeful, so who knows - racing tomorrow, maybe miss right will be lurking in the pits, tho as far as miracles go will be expecting scruffy greasemonkey rather than ferrari girl