Having a 'sick of being a LP' day today

[IllegallyBrunette]

Just that really.

It started last night when I sat having yet another conversation with myself.

I will never ever ever get used to the constant feeling of being alone, I just hate it too much.

I can't even attract anyoine for a fling, hiw sad is that.

are you sure about that nutty?

i thought you swore blind that you wouldnt consider a fling?
But how do you know whether it ll end up being a fling or you will fall madly in love?
You dont know unless you give it a try.

The only offer i have had is from a male friend who was hoping for extras! Tempted at times but i can't say i even fancy him so i must be getting desperate!

IB, do you not feel though, that what you are looking for in a man has changed so entirely, that perhaps being older, less attractive (?) and having children won't be factors?

I mean, what you looked for in a man when you got together with xp, has it changed at all?

For me it has. I'll admit I was too shallow. My x ticked some of my ludicrous boxes, good career, tall, handsome, middle-class. I forgot to put KIND and GOOD HUMOURED on my list.

I'm not looking now, partly because it's too disheartening. But there's a bit of me that thinks that when i have the energy to date, my having children and being older would sort out the wheat from the chaff. Sooner rather than later. Which can only be a good thing.

I don't know though. I'm not optimistic or pessimistic about finding somebody new. I think it's all such chance. Don't know what to think or hope or plan really.

fortunately i dont have too many conversations with meself - i'd probably get bored and wander off - i just miss having someone to do stuff with. i dont get much free time but love going places, travelling and just doing new stuff.

since splitting with my last gf ive been way too busy to get out, as well as working all week - at times til 10 or so - i take ds racing alternate weekends and often work free weekends. admittidly, partly to fill my time since becoming single again - while thinking we'd somehow get back together. had all sorts of moving plans too which have come to nothing.

wouldnt say i'm sick of being a lp - more a case of not wanting to be single.

for the first time in a while theres no racing and so far no work this weekend - tho am a serial moonlighter - so who knows where i may end up.

The evenings are the wosrt... i went to bed couldnt sleep so got bk up again... I just feel my life is pathetic at the moment. Everything is so monotinus...everydays the same... get up feed kids play with ds.... change nappies clean house cook dinner mope around try and sleep theres never any contrast and excitement.
When the kids do something new and exciting and i have to phone my mum or sister to share the moment and my excitement with someone. Anytime there is a problem I have to deal with it alone... but god forbid something bad happens and exp automaticly blames me... when people compliment him on what a lovely son he has he tries to take all the credit. My son is beautiful and perfect because of me, not him!
Im really struggling with being alone at the moment but dont know if im in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship, god what is the answer??? Im sick of being miserable!

SDOT what are you like . I'm so busy too, I don't have time to stop and think, although it will be forced upon me on Monday next week as the divorce becomes final. Never mind that XH is already with woman no.2 it will still be hard. But heck. Life goes on. You know what made me feel better today, I actually did something for someone else I didn't know, nothing much really just gave the extra change the cashier needed. But it made me feel that life's for giving and I was immediately told I would get back the goodness that I'd passed on. Life is hard as a working single mum, but at the end of the day it's worth it to give the boys the lifestyle they have.

Love this thread, it's great to have a really good moan. We should do it more often. Hi, to everyone today, it seems to be Tuesday's that I hate. Don't know why. Anyway better get on with some work.

Well my mood doesn't seem to of improved today. Mind you it doesn't help that I woke up more or less deaf in one ear, and keep feeling dizzy.

Had Ds's sports day today, and stood watching all of the happy couples watching their dc's run around, whilst I stood on my own.

Ds didn't mind, he never does, but I do.

ali - next week? how time flies, and you know what they say about life beginning at 40...ahem, something . and yes, its definately worth the effort youre putting in for the boys. they need at least one reliable parent whos there for them while they need it most.

and illegal - i remember those sports days well. lots of mums - was scarier than a massive mn meetup - did rather make me feel the odd one out but kids insisted that i go so they must not have minded.
hope today is a better day, and you have yourself a decent weekend.

Illegally - have you read "the Secret"?

It's basically all about positive thinking, and getting what you dream of. You have to visualise what you want in your mind, and totally believe that you will get it.
Apparently it is a "law" that never fails and is akin to the law of gravity, ie is never wrong.
Try reading the book? Lots of people swear by it..

Myself, i have had a good feeling about next year, i think great stuff is going to happen for me, and i am holding on to that!

me and the boy are sick. great. my favourite times. grrr