I have a hot date..... what do i do???

[charlotte121]

Its been so long since i have had a date that i dunno what to do.
What do i wear, what do i chat about.... aaaggggghhhhhhhh........ help me.

oooh - char be careful sweets. why is his ex still in life. You can tell a lot about a bloke by how he talks about his exes and his mother!

they split up a while bk but she wont let go of him... keeps txting him and phonong him even though he has told her he doesnt love her anymore. he's quite a sensitive guy and was genuinly quite upset at being bombarded with all of her messages.
I think he just needed someone to talk to last night. He was being quite sweet and trying to reply to her as nicely as possible becuase he "didnt want to hurt her" but it was so weird I have never seen him sad before, hes normally so bubbley and happy.

Littlewoman- I will observe for now... im not going to jump into anything if hes on the rebound. Its nice just chatting with him tbh and having him as a friend.

Oh, right, well that doesn't sound as bad, Char. I thought he was still upset over them splitting up.

Phew! As you were!

Char that was one time he was sounding off about his ex so let him have that one, if it happens again then re-think the whole situation, although it will most probably win you brownie points as a future understanding girlfriend

lets hope so... hes a really cool guy but i somehow think were on different pages of the same book. think he might not really be interested in me.

Hmmm me thinks he totally not intersted anymore.... cant be bothered with playing games. I havnt the energy, achhh life sucks sometimes.

Could really do with life giving me a break... im going nuts here.

Charlotte, fuck him.

Your life, your rules, sweetheart. You don't have to be grateful to every twat who gives you ten minutes of his precious time.

If it's not good enough for you, shout "next!!"

Don't wait around. Take control. You decide ((()))

agree charlotte.....dont give him a second thought

don't ever feel that you should be honoured that someone takes an interest in you because you have 2 kids.......they should be bloody privelaged that you are giving them the chance to have a part of your life with your babies..........

i know its shite....EX has moved on and you feel like you are the one left behind to raise your beautiful son and daughter....and you feel angry that he could just walk away and

"WHO IN THEIR RIGHT FUCKIN MIND WILL TAKE ON ME WITH 2 KIDS?????"

I HAVE THAT FEELING TOO

but the fact of the matter is that we all deserved to be loved , i mean really loved....you are obviously too good for him sweetie, please dont feel like you should settle with anyone who is really not the one for you................we have to kiss a lot of frogs before we get the prince x x x x

I've been taken on when I was divorce with 2 Dc's.

I've been taken on when I was divorced with 6 DC's.

Never be grateful for crap.

Would Angelina Jolie be grateful for crap?
No.
Neither should you be.
You are in similar circumstances as she was until recently. The difference is her attitude.

Love yourself, Char. Do it for your children. ((()))

Oh Charlotte, I know just how you feel. My XP and I are going on a "date" tonight to discuss if we have any future.

I'm really trying hard to believe that another man WILL find me attractive/I won't be on the shelf forever. Otherwise I will be driven by fear of being alone which is NOT good!!

You're very pretty! I know how you feel about tummy and my DD is 4months, was hoping it'd be flat by now. Hah!

I have kinda accepted the fact that i dnt think im going to get a "nice" tummy back. Its not fat, its lose skin and its covered in stretchmarks.

I dont want to settle for second best but at the same time im sick of being alone and dont want to be alone forever... I know the chances are that in the future I will meet someone who will make me happy and take care of me and treat me like a human but im also frightened that that isnt going to happen. my ex has made me feel so worthless and its finding a way to move on and forwards away from his destructive comments that I really struggle with.

Im not sure why but I have always struggled with men. I always get really attached to them too easily and end up getting hurt. I think its probibaly due to the fact that my dad died when i was 8 and i never really interacted with men or boys as i went to an all girls school.
I also have this overwhealming need to feel loved, which i dont understand as i was never denied affection or love as a child. I think im just a freak really.
I think i would benefit from seeing a counciler but at this moment in time I cant fit it in... there is so much other stuff going on in my life.
Achhh i think we should all become lesbians. Im kinda giving up hope with the male species, ds being the acception. He is adorable, has a gorgeous little blonde mullet

hey girl,

you're gonna have an amazing time, don't worry too much. even though yes man are mostly bastards (haha!) they can't ALL be and so best giving him the chance. We're young and we deserve happiness. I'm gonna get me a date as soon as my bubs is here!

i sound like a case for jeremy kyle don't i!

good luck charlotte! don't worry about your stretch marks, all us mummys have em and any man worth being with wouldn't care about them anyway! relax and enjoy your grown up time girl x

charlotte i am a size 16......my stomache looks like a map of the world....i have stretchmarks on my tits,waist,arms......everywhere

it is horrible thinking that a new man will have to see me naked but what can i do??????

you are beautiful and you will find someone who wants you and loves you for YOU and your babies x

lol emma... my life would be very fitting for jeremy kyle too, if it wasnt so sleezy I would love to take my ex on there as i know Jk would rip right into him!!!
i like to think of myself as a respectable person... my ex on the other hand has so many children he's lost count and pays for none of them. he cant keep a job... is 26 has no house no money, he doesnt even own his own car... hes paying a relative off for it... he has a gambling problem what the hell did i ever see in him!!!

Good luck with your baby. Its the best thing that will ever happen to ypu! where abouts do you live in the uk btw?

Knutsford, in Cheshire - about half an hour from manchester.

thanks charlotte, think i need it now! it's starting to all seem so real lol

Oh kool. My grandparents live in macclesfield so I sort of know the area. Thats the general area all of my family are from.
Trust me its really scary and pretty hard at first but your natuaral instincts take over and tell you what to do... if i can do it so can you!!!
Just dont get tricked into buying things you dont need or you will waste an abiloute fortune... shop in asda, tesco etc for clothes they're dirt cheep and babies grow sooo fast and join every online clus going as you will get sent vouchers and coupons... the boots baby club is the best IMO.

Fawkeoff i know the feeling my tummy looks like a road map of britain and im pretty sure my bum can be seen in outer space. Im am slowely getting more confortable with my "new" body. perhaps we could be a matching pair of book ends lol

ha ha yes i bet we could be ......well ive just had a row with ex over him talking to our 5 year old daughter about him getting married to his girlfriend of 3 fucking months.......i really dislike that man.....how fucking dare he talk to her about that!!!!!!!!!!

thats a bit out of order.... surely he could have seeked your premisison before doing that! It would have been understandable if they had been together 3 yeaars but 3 months is a bit quick. Not really teaching your daughter about solid relationships is it. My exp is the same tho... he had only split up with me a few weeks beofore he moved in with his new gf and then expected me to alow him to take ds to her house and let him sleep there. These men are just sub human. I dnt think they have any consideration for anyone except themselves.

those are not men they're imbaclies who we stupidly thought were nice at one point - althou to be fair to my X we're agreeing on DS not being introduced to someone unless it's serious etc. so he's not so bad on that front.

char - honestly the stretch marks things - I have more lines on my tummy than clap ham junctions! thing is thou a man's with you cos he likes you as a person not cos of what you have going on - besides as we all know stretch marks fade mine are silvery now - but still there alas! point is your DD is only a few weeks old - give yourself time! 9 months to go on 9 months 2 years in my case to come off! and chappy - give him space ignore him for a bit he;ll come back and if he doesn't he wasn't for you. Little woman has it right - your life, your rules. Dance to your own tune not someone elses & if they don't like it they can bugger off, (least that's my motto now)

Re the feelings your X left you with - I think at some point we've all felt that low before. just need to focus on all the good things you have going for you right now - and surround you with positive energetic people - for the minute anyone who's going to sap your energy has to go by the by as it were.

Dazed - lol@ date as soon as bubba's born!

sorry to hijack - fawke he did bloody what? wtf is wrong with that man?

char your ex sounds like mine. You are not going to be on the shelf forever you daft thing - what are you 20? I am twenty six and have been a single mum since 22 and believe me there are times when i could quite happily curl up and give up now but I dont want a shit relationship wiht a man who thinks i should be grateful because i was blessed with a beautiful little boy and have been strong enough to raise him alone - bollocks to that. There are very few men good enough to come into my boys life and be a role model - in my head i choose to be single and until someone worthy of my love and attention comes along i am bloody well staying that way!!

that said some SEX would be nice (sorry couldnt resist!)

ah wouldn't we all love that! ther'es the bed buddies option or as in my case - BOB!

hahaha thats hilarious... but I agree even 6 weeks after having a baby im gagging for it.

jesus woman i was more like 6 months and even then it was a case of ahem... yes put my nighty down when you've finished be a love! hehehe.

three weeks and it was on my mind. i occasionally tell meself i can live without..erm do i have to. sigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol. I must be weird then cos I can go without - in fact did from last august to this january - no inclin at all. doesn't really bother me that much tbh.