its friday night, I'm lonely, and I just really want to call him up

[averyquickex]

I know he is not in a good place at the mo, and I know he is seeing someone else, though allegedy taking it slowly and not a physical relationship.
But I really miss him. I just want to talk to him. Or text him, saying I am missing him. Or something. I know I am setting myself up for a fall, but I feel so sad tonight

bugger posted under the wrong name!!

NOOOOOOOOOO!

I promise you chick you will feel so much better if you don't come the morning xx

Do you know what he feels?

How long ago did you split, does he feel the same as you?

If not then no, be strong.

I know!
But I still want to talk to him!

DON'T DO IT!! Talk to us instead!

I don't know your background but do you want to contact your ex so that you can set the ball rolling to get back together? Would talking to him really make you feel better?

It's hard being alone especially in the evenings. But don't become dependent on contacting your ex for company.

Do you have a friend or your mum you could call on instead?

Or you could have a lovely warm bath, hop into your bed with a great book or watch the telly and relish your own company? I know it's easy for me to say.

I'm sorry you feel so .

The problem is that a friend was meant to be coming over, but it looks like she wont make it - she has a young baby, so it was kind of expected.
And yes, I would want to get the ball rolling for us to get back together, but I dont think thats what he wants. But tbh (and I do know him well) I dont think he knows what he wants a the mo
I think I want to remind him I am a nice person. But if he really seeing someone else, I will just lose it.

oh god i feel like this all the time

i just long for some contact with him. But then i get flashes of rage for him going and getting someone else pg.

tell us the whole story?

I know from experience looking desperate is possibly the worst turn off for anybody.

If you think there is teh slightest chance you could get him back.

Get out there and do things to make yourself happy, get a new hobby, a job, take uo a course, new hair do, spend some time on yourself, go out with some friends and have a good time and stay clear of all men.

you will look so much more attractive to him or a new man being a happy, independent and interesting woman.

Make yourself happy inside first... you may find you have actually moved on and dont want or need him.

Good luck

xxxxxxxxxx

I know you are right, but I really cant shake that feeling.
I am waiting for my friend, who hasnt ruled herself out yet, and getting lonely.
I need distraction.

I think the issue is really that I can see where our relationship went bad, and what caused it.
whereas he thinks there is no saving it, and is looking elsewhere.
I just want him to see that we can rebuild ourselves.
But I know that I need to do things for me etc etc instead.
I am scared that I will get myself a fab new life and not want him anymore.
I feel so sad for ds who will ave a weekend daddy, that is until I eventually get myself a new relationship and my dp will essentially become more of his dad than his real dad iyswim. I dont think h has really thought this out.

I hear you...

Maybe you should say that before you "BOTH" decide to call it a day and let him know the ball is not just in his court(does that make sense - sorry) that for your childs sake you should both go to a relationship councellor. At least you will both then be able to tell your child that you tried.

BUT

not tonight, tomorrow and after 10am!!!

Its so important that you dont look desperate and I know thats horrible someone saying it to you. but i did it before and I hate myself for it and cringe when I think about the things I did and say.

I will say I did get him in the end and we have two lovely girls but it was only after I sorted myself out and made myself not so available.

there may also be things he has not talked to you about, you really dont know whats going on in his head.

councelling would be great for both of you, look into.

i know you want to text him, but 9 o clock on a friday is a bad time to text anyone. Text tomorrow lunch time, go to bed early. I'm going to bed in a min too.

also i was doing all that desperate stuff when he was seeing array of different girls so I really had 0 respect for myself at that time and one time even offered myself there and then

i was just terrified that he was going to fall in love any moment with another girl.

but like you i knew he was confused and i was sure he liked me still but he says now that he just couldnt accept me the way i was at that point and i was turning him off me.

i took a massive step back and listened to my friends who told me that he didnt deserve me blah blah and that I should move on...

so i told him that and let him think i was moving on... i kept my distance but not too far and he could see that i was continuing my life which was a shock to him.

so if there is ANY chance then it will only be if you sort yourself out, if that doesnt work then it was not meant to be and you move on with yoru dignity.

i know how you feel and its so F-ing hard. but find that strength inside and do it for you and your child.

x

ok, ok.
So if I still feel sad tomorrow, I will text him tomorrow lunchtime and say that for the sake of ds we should go to counselling before we both decide to call it a day on our marriage.
hopefully by that time tomorrow (after I have been out, doing my new hobby with some really fit men ;) ) I wont want to.

hee hee - come on you know wer'e right.

you would be typing the same thing if i started this thread.

the councelling suggestion is good because he will hear you saying that you should do it before you BOTH decide to move on.

fit well hung men and not man and young!!!

oh call and suggest that tomorrow even if you decide that your new bunch of toyboys fulfill you...

i think its important that you both totally go through everything before you both decide... something may come out that bothers him and it could be settled there and then.

you never know..

i dont know your story but i think thats what u would do if i found myself in your situation

avery - go on that sexual technics convo - it will cheer you up no end. I've never laughed so much in all my life

its in dadsnet

thanks everyone.

I knew you would give me strength! You lot are fab!
babytime - you are so right, I would be typing the same thing if you had started the post.

unfortunately 'tasty climbing bloke' as I call him isnt there tomorrow, but never mind!

i love mumsnet!!!

go on and add some filth in that thread its funny

sexual technics convo

x

well, I got through today without texting him
In face, I realised, quite clearly, that he not only me for another woman, but he also left ds for anther woman. I havent really realised this before, at least not as clearly as I do now.

I feel like I hav turned a corner.

HURRAY!

POWER TO YOU SISTER!

I'm glad that you did not call him and because he left you both it should be him calling you begging for forgiveness not you reminding him that he has lost out on happiness.

xxxxxxx

babytime, i am taking all your advice too, i am in practically the same position too - except that i am scared i wont move on and enjoy life and am scared i wont forget him!!