just so pissed off at him right now ..........

[fawkeoff]

So i rang him yeaterday to ask if he would have the DC today while i went for a belated birthday meal wih my nan......no probs ill be there for 11.

he comes into today being all smarmy, telling me about his night out with the lads.....i dont give a donkeys dick what you do with your time.....he then carries on
"I was going to come and stay here last night so i didnt have to get a taxi home but i didnt know who you would be in bed with" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHEEKY BASTARD
i told him to get a grip, went for my meal with my family, he told me not to be all day because he has plans....so they end up going without dessert because he had me on a time scale........walks through the door and he has let the kids totally ransack the living room and kitchen
i tell him in no uncertain terms that he has took the piss...completely and he decides to tell me that i am over reacting.....I have just had it today really i have he just brings me down...utter bastard

Then cut all ties and keep the dc arrangments purely business - no ex coming to your house trying to be friends etc. Make sure the message is loud and clear - you have the dc for access - full stop, we only talk about the dc full stop (any other personel questions etc you tell him keep the conversation to the dc full stop.

He will get the message and fast that way, hopefully then he will move on and get on with his life instaed of being a leech on your life.

fawkeoff he is being a bunny boiler, keep telling him you are no longer together and you don't have to explain yourself to him or anyone else, from now on keep the conversations brief and only talk about the children, have set access days and times and make arrangements for him to not to look after them in your house, you need to distance yourself a bit more as he is coming across as quite creepy

i am feelin g much better about things today x been giving myself some retail therapy, and had a day to myself...i am going to stop him staying in the house as if its still his home...even though it is amicable split...he has lost the right to treat it that way

Good for you Fawkeoff - my x still pays the mortgage - that at the moment is instead of child maintenance which should work out about the same. He keeps saying it's his house as he is paying the mortgage - my answer is that it's my HOME, he has a new home and I need my privacy and security. if he doesn't want to pay the mortgage, go see a lawyer and sign the divorce papers to get the finaces sorted. I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief the day i changed the locks although I was terrified of his reaction beforehand. But I fet so safe and as if I'd moved on a stage further - don't ask for the key back as he'll just get a new one cut. Don't tell him you are changing the locks - he will only find out if he tries to get in.
Give him set times for access and only be flexible if it suits you. Be hard with him, even if it hurts or is scary. teh only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them - it's amazing how much stronger it makes you feel. If he threatens legal action because you've changed the locks, smile and say to him to take you to court - then phone the police and get them to log the incidents such as him 'stalking' you by driving past at midnight, threatening to come in while you are sleeping etc etc. Then if it does go to court you have this as evidence of how scared and threathened (for you and your dc) he made you feel. Doubt he would do it though.

Take acre, all of you xx