My boys are probably going round to my new partners house with me tomorrow for the first time. I guess I should inform their dad this is happening shouldn't I?

[Pinkchampagne]

The boys will tell him anyway no doubt, but I guess I should tell him the boys will be meeting him properly, shouldn't I?

I have been with him for 10 months now, but the boys have only really met him in short bursts, so this will be the first day spent together.
The boys are keen & have already told my mum. DS2 can't wait to meet his dog properly!

It would be the right thing for me to tell ex H what was happening, wouldn't it?

Yes I would but probably drop it into a conversation rather than making it the reason for ringing (if you were going to ring him).

I think i would tell him so that it's not on your mind. And as you say the boys will tell him anyway. If it was me I think I'd prefer to hear about it beforehand.
Best of luck!

i dont see why you should actually

He is taking them tonight after work, then returning them around midday tomorrow, so when he drops round I will mention it. Hopefully he will be ok about it.

Do you not, lou?

no i dont, it will make him feel like he has some kind of say and can decide for you, who the boys do or dont meet

what will you do if he says he doesnt want them going there, and kicks up a fuss, involves your parents etc?

i dont think you need to inform your exh of your social plans tbh

DS2 keeps saying tomorrow is X (new DP) day!
I really think it is maybe best I mention something as he is sure to say that in front of his dad tonight!

I see where you're coming from there, lou, but I was just thinking I should maybe say something as he may get funny hearing it from the boys.

but I would want to know if my ex-DH was introducing my children to a new partner!!

(not that me DH is my ex! )

Does your ex know you have a new partner?

me DH?

my DH!!

otherwise it could all get nasty.

I think you are wrong Lou!

Yes he has known about him for a while. I informed him I was seeing someone else after I had been with him for 3 months, and he knows that DS2's favourite cuddly dog was one he brought round for me to give to him.

The boys have met him in little bursts, and have mentioned his name & his dog to ex H, but this is the first time that we would have really done anything involving the children. I guess it is right that I inform him it will be happening.

Just be casual about it.

'Thanks for bringing the boys back. We are out tomorrow - the boys are meeting Mr Lovely and we will be back in the evening - shall I get them to ring you?'

(or whatever - be breezy!)

Done it! He has just dropped round to pick them up, and I said "by the way, the boys will probably be visiting new DP & his dog tomorrow!"
He said "Oh right", and that was it!

Glad it went well. I do think (assuming things are reasonable amicable between exes)that's its the right thing to mention it to your ex - purely because it makes it easier for the children as everything is in the open and they don't accidently think that they have to keep any secrets.

PC although you did tell your ex I don't think you should have had too, you have been with the new guy now for 10 months so its not like its an ' uncle ' being thrust in the childrens face, I think that you feel that you have to keep your ex informed of everything but you don't have too, you have a new life now

I guess you're right, Tinkerbel. I think it was just that the boys kept on about it, and I thought I should maybe mention something myself before they did.

I have been quite careful where the boys are concerned, and as I say, this will be the first time we have done anything with the boys, so he certainly hasn't been thrust in their face!

I'm quite nervous actually. I hope the boys behave today!!

They will be so excited, hope it all goes well, the sun is even out for a barbie so maybe you can test your partner's cooking skills out, lol

It is a bit dull here, but hopefully it will brighten up later as we are planning to take them to a big play area.

Ex H said that DS2 has been very excited, and the first thing he said when he got to the door was "when is xx coming round?"!

Fab PC hope it goes well.

My new man met my kids last night as he came over for the afternoon and dinner and my ds said afterwards he is really nice mum I give you my blessing LOL!

I think there should be no pressure to tell Xs these things but if things are amicable it helps to keep it that way. Just being polite I guess.

Bless your DS, GF! Glad he approves!

So, did you pounce on him & snog his face off last night?

Our day out went really well. The boys had a couple of moments of the usual squabbles, and DS2 can be a bit of a handful in a 5 year old boy kind of way, but in general they were pretty good & we had a nice day.
DS2 even got a shoulder ride from new DP when his legs got tired!

Obviously the pouncing comment was re your new love interest, GF!

I didnt bother telling my ex when I introduced new partner BUT my ex went crawling back to OW when I finally kicked him out.
So he didnt deserve my respect Im afraid.

I know your situation is different Pinkchampagne as I know your story.

I think you should just do what you feel is right.

Oh PC, so glad things went ok.

I can just imagine how excited DS2 got with the dog!

FWIW, I think you did the right thing telling exH. No point hiding information, and anyway, you have nothing to hide and haven't done anything wrong.

When are you seeing him next?

The boys had a great day. We drove to his house with the dog in the back of the car, which DS2 thought was great! He then helped give the dog her food once we arrived at the house, then we went to costa & had coffee while the boys had a sandwich & muffins.
After that, we walked to the big play area & the boys spent a few hours playing & we sat in the sun!

DP bought the boys an ice cream once we started walking back, then DS2 said "the strong" had gone in his legs, so DP gave him a shoulder ride back to the car.

I think it went pretty well for a first day out.

I am next seeing him Wed evening as he is off this week, KK.

That's good.
It depends on your relationship with your ex. Mine doesn't speak to me so telling him things isn't really viable. I think my boys saw some woman last weekend and the weekend before they had to hide with him in a cafe to avoid another woman which they thought was very funny.