feel like i cant cope with all the kids on my own anymore 😢

[FindingMyFeet89]

hi i dont even no where to start. just feelin so low tonight. i got 4 kids at home n im pregnant again n it just feels like too much.

ds1 is ok mostly, keeps to himself but i worry he depressed cos he dont talk much. ds2 is always in trouble at school, i had another phone call today n i just wanted to cry cos i dunno what to do with him anymore 😢 ds3 is strugglin loads too with school n needs more help but i feel like no1 listens. ds4 just started reception n its a big change for him n me both.

i try so hard to be there for them all but i feel like im failing every1. i end up shoutin or crying cos i just cant keep up. bf (babys dad) dont really help, he’s never here when i need him.

sometimes i think my kids wud be better off with some1 else cos i cant do it all. i love them more than anything but im so tired n lonely.

does any1 else feel like this? how do u keep going when it all just feels too much?

This is absolutely ridiculous advice!

This woman needs to parent this child. It's not up to the school to do it. Why on earth would you think it was a good idea to give the Xbox to a teacher?? They've got enough to do without having to help these women parent their children. And you think it's a good idea to want the son to be "angry at the teacher". This woman is responsible for her son. You're wild!!

Call SS and tell them you are struggling @FindingMyFeet89. I don't know how you are coping with 4, I have got 2 sons and decided to not have any more kids in order to have the time, finances and space to give them a good life. Now it's too late in your case but I feel sorry for your children. If you talk to SS they might have something to propose, especially for DS2 who is acting out. With DS1, if he doesn't want to see a psychologist, just keep communication open so he feels that he can talk to you.

@dollyblue01 not helpful.
The baby is on it's way. Not much she can do about it now.

It sounds like your depressed and overwhelmed.

But, they are your children and it is your job to look after them.

However, there is help out there. GP for some antidepressants may be a good starting point.

I can understand you not wanting to ask social services for help. And I know lots of other people understand before anyone jumps down my throat over this comment.

Do you go to any mum and baby groups, where you could potentially meet some friends? It sounds like you need a support network. Not to help look after your kids, just someone to chat to about day to day mum life.

Almost every day.

@Needmorelego
i get that, however the issues with the kids she already has, appear to have been here longer than nine months , so why get pregnant and then decide you can’t cope ? Surely she wasn’t forced to have another baby , so why make that choice ? It’s just crazy to have another when your children you already have need attention.

Also she says baby’s dad never there , so is he not the same dad to the others and why get pregnant when you know he’s never around and make more work for yourself , I don’t mean to be unkind I’m just asking, I don’t have a solution but do you have any family that could help out abit ?

A story as old as time unfortunately.

Babies aren't always planned.
These things happen.
If she could turn back time a few months then she might do things differently - but she can't.
What's done is done.
It's not an ideal situation to be in but posts like yours really don't help.
She needs support and help for the situation she is in NOW.
Not criticism for something that happened several months ago.

I hope you don't think you're being helpful.

This poster was deleted last time, I think.

How many weeks pregnant are you now @FindingMyFeet89

I mean this kindly but have you considered getting the new baby adopted? It might be easier for all of your children if there isn't another baby for you, their mother, to contend with.

@Needmorelego
come on she’s already got four , I’m pretty certain most people know how to prevent an unwanted pregnancy these days. I’m just stating the obvious , not helpful no , I’ve said she may need to rely on family , nothing much else to be said either that or social services, both aren’t ideal I know and that’s what I was trying to say , maybe a bit of forward thinking and planning is needed here , sorry if it’s harsh but it’s the truth.

OP. what county are you in? I know of a charity, local to me, that provides activities & support for single parents and large families.

I think as much as it is easy for people to judge, they shouldn't. People end up in situations for all kinds of reasons.
I have two children and one wasn't planned and another was. In all honesty nothing can prepare you for what having children actually entails. I often struggle with parenting too. It can feel overwhelming and I know thats not a nice place to be. In fact it's a horrible place to be, you love your kids so much and want better but it's hard to hold it all together.
Take/make some time each day where they aren't around you at all, like make sure they are all in bed at a set time, doing something quiet so mummy has some quiet time. I know it's easier said than done.
Please just know you aren't alone and I think if most mums were honest, most will have felt like this at some point. Maybe see the gp if you feel this could help and as others have said, maybe no more kids after the little one is born. It is hard, but you will find some strength in you somewhere and as they get older hopefully it will get easier! If you need to chat then feel free to message me. I have felt like you have. Love of love and strength to you. I'm sure you are doing an amazing job xx

Also, there is a very funny man on Facebook called Antonio who pretends to be a stressed out mum named Jan. He cracks me up every time I watch him. Worth a look if you want a laugh and also realise being a mum is universally shit sometimes, for each and every parent. The exact same challenges faced by parents everywhere. Even the judgy ones.. theyd have been there at some point in their time parenting.. some just like to forget that ever happened, their kids were obviously perfect little angels! Makes me laugh. Ignore those people. Parenting is hard. But your children will love you and look up to you for your strength, you just need to stay strong xx