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Lone parents

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Original poster

Recently i am feeling a little bit sad that i will never be pregnant/have another baby

30 replies

allgonebellyup · 21/05/2008 19:19

But i dont know why. When i had my 2nd child, ds, i felt that i had finished for good, and never wanted any more.

but now dh and i have split, and he had a brand new baby with his new gf, i feel jealous and very sad. i already had dd with my first partner so have 2 kids from 2 dads, and i dont want 3 by 3!

i guess when i was still with dh i still always had the option of having another, but now the choice has been taken away from me. Plus he has a baby with another woman and its killing me.

OP posts:
Ulysees · 21/05/2008 19:21

I think it's understandable at the moment so don't beat yourself up about it.
I went through a phase of maybe wanting another. Now I'm almost 40 I know for definite I don't.

My mate just had her 4th child with 3rd dad and she's single again and doing her masters. No idea how she does it but she does??

singledadofthree · 21/05/2008 21:29

i wouldnt be too bothered about having 3 by 3.

i used to have a gf who had 4 by 4 which didnt put me off - she now has 5 by 5!!

mummyblue · 21/05/2008 21:42

5 by 5?? Sorry, that seems odd...your gf must have some emotional disturb, isn´t she?

harpomarx · 21/05/2008 21:43

why so mummyblue?

dizzydixies · 21/05/2008 21:44

I know its NOT the same but dh asked me the other day how I was enjoying my last pregnancy I hadn't thought of it that way until he said it

so I know how you feel

BUT I do agree with the others, what does it matter 3 by 3 etc? you'll love them all the same

chocolatespiders · 21/05/2008 21:45

i feel the same i am a 2 x 2
and dont want to be a 3 x 3

so i have decided there will be no more for me.... chance would be a fine thing anyway... born again virgin for the last 3 years

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 21/05/2008 21:45

I feel it too.I had ds at xmas and at nearly 41 I said he would be the last but saying it and knowing it are two very diffrent things.

Pinkchampagne · 21/05/2008 21:46

It is totally understandable that you would feel this way atm, AGBU. Never say never though, as you just don't know what will happen in the future.
I felt totally done after DS2 (ex H had a vasectomy), but now I am with a new man who I think the world of, I wouldn't rule it out totally!

Pinkchampagne · 21/05/2008 21:50

Cricky blimey, I can't believe I have just said that!!

kayzisexpecting · 21/05/2008 21:51

Never say never. You could meet a wonderful man and you could change your mind.

dizzydixies · 21/05/2008 21:53
Pinkchampagne · 21/05/2008 21:54

Absolutely, that was the point I was trying to make! And excuse my spelling. I have a sticky keyboard!

Pinkchampagne · 21/05/2008 21:55

Was responding to kayisexpecting there!!! The thought of being pregnant again, actually fills me with total fear!!

Pinkchampagne · 21/05/2008 21:58

You may have a very long wait, DD!!

CrackerOfNuts · 21/05/2008 22:02

I refuse to accept that possiblity that I won't ever have another baby.

The chances of it ever happening are so so slim, but i'd rather live in denial.

Pinkchampagne · 21/05/2008 22:11

I am sitting here thinking of my family's reaction!!

singledadofthree · 21/05/2008 22:18

allgone - have just realised my last gf had 2 by 2 and also refused to have 3 by 3.

like nutty i found it hard to think i'd never have another even tho mine are all about grown. i started young with kids and still dont feel old even tho my eldest is 21.

will go with the never say never, tho i may have to wait a while

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 22/05/2008 12:19

nutty , would you want 4 kids then??

i could never manage that many!

No, i think i am just feeling funny cos ex has a new shiny baby...i think i will get over it soon!

OP posts:
CrackerOfNuts · 22/05/2008 15:56

Yep, definatly would, have always wanted 4.

Pinkchampagne · 22/05/2008 17:58

It is probably just a reaction to that, AGBU. It is to be expected under the circumstances.

I am not bothered at the thought of not having another child. Most of me really can't imagine going through all that again, and at 35, I feel too old!
I wouldn't rule it out now though, especially as DP has no children of his own. Saying that, once he spends more time around mine, he may book himself in for a vesectomy!!

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 22/05/2008 19:03

yes i dont think i really want any more, and even if i did, i would be around 35/40 by the time i may meet someone (am 29) and then the gap between my kids would be too big.
i am also set on having a career!

OP posts:
LonelySingleMummy · 22/05/2008 21:24

OMG i have those very same thoughts all the time! I am 33 and just had 1st and am lp so will have to get my skates on

dreamteamgirl · 22/05/2008 21:24

Hi AGBU
I keep feeling like you do. I have one DS who is 3 and I am 38. Somehow I cant imagine me having another -meeting someone, settling down, getting married and then having the luck to fall pregnant all in the next 4 years or so just doesnt seem likely.

I thought I only wanted one- actually I thought I would never have any and was ok with that, but after DS was born I was sure I didnt want more, but all the while XP was around I still had 'options' Now he is gone I feel quite sad to know I will never have another

madamez · 22/05/2008 21:27

I think everyone gets the occasional spell of 'I want another baby' even when you know it would be totally impractical, or its physicially impossible or something. It's certainly understandable that you feel this way at the moment, but the feeling, like all feelings, will pass. ANd you never know, you might meet another suitable babyfather at some point: presumably you're young enough.

Original poster
allgonebellyup · 22/05/2008 21:34

yes i guess 29 is young enough, and i am lucky enough to have a daughter and a son already, so i do feel complete.
i guess its just all the "what ifs" that are making me confused..

OP posts: