Hate being a lone parent

[ReachingOut8]

I hate being a lone parent, I just hate this so much, every day is the worst and I struggle even getting out of bed. Ex has no contact, I have no family, I can’t keep doing this, one child is home educated desperately trying to get her into a special school but fighting the LA for that, one child is on a reduced time table.. he goes to school from 8.30 till 11am I don’t even see the point in that I barely get home from dropping my other kids before I’m back out to collect him an hour later, I can’t work because of my children’s needs so I’m always broke (yes we get dla but it doesn’t scratch the surface as their father doesn’t pay any maintenance) I have to collect him at 11am then back out at 3 to collect my other children, I feel like I have no life, just constantly running around looking after kids, I feel judged for not working which I know I am. I am literally drowning. I can’t keep doing this. How do people claim to love parenting alone? Maybe if you have tons of support, but I have no one. I’ve considered reaching out to their father but people have told me that’s the worst thing I could do, so what do I do now just keep going till I have a break down? There is no end to this it doesn’t get better.

I hear you and feel for you. I'm a lone parent and have no family support and my child's father is not involved at all either. I don't love being a lone parent, it's so so hard and I feel like I've got no life either.
If the father of your kids doesn't put your kids at risk I would contact him. You need some rest and you need help and it's ok to ask for it. Sending you a big hug x

Wow I totally 100% get this!

I'm a single mum of 4 ages 14,12,9 and nearly 2! I get no help of family or friends, never have. My eldest has additional needs and I fought the last three years getting him a EHCP in place to get him a specialist SEN school, I feel trapped, I feel like a robot, I don't enjoy life in fact I hate it, I'm constantly exhausted and drained as my toddler doesn't sleep through and I just wake up every day thinking really is this my life? I cannot work at the moment either and I HATE it as I've always worked! I can't go out and socialise as I'm always with my children, I don't get a break ever and some days I just want to get into my car and just drive and not look back. I hate the fact I'm the one who has too to do everything, school runs, appointments, clubs, housework, cooking, nappy changes and the list goes on! How I've not had a breakdown is beyond me as my eldest is extremely hard work too! 😩 I'm sorry to jump on this thread I just wanted you to know you're not alone and I 110% get and understand how you're feeling!

This time of year is the hardest. Hope you are OK OP. Is there anyone that can help, even another single mum that you could buddy up with for support.

Hi OP. I'm not sure you hate parenting as much as hate an intolerable situation.

Which is extremely reasonable and anyone would!

I run EHCP support threads on here where you could get some help or at least support from others in a similar position. I will post a link.

EHCP support thread no. 4 - www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/5197351-ehcp-support-thread-no-4

When you say DD is EHE and you are trying to get her into SS, where are you in the process? Does she have an EHCP? If not, have you requested an EHCNA? If she already has an EHCP, have you appealed to SENDIST? If you are mid-appeal, have you requested an expedited hearing? In the meantime, you can inform the LA you are no longer EHE and they must make arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full time education and anything detailed, specified and quantified in F. If they refuse, delay or ignore your request for AP, you can enforce this, including via judicial review if necessary.

Why is DS on a reduced timetable? Is alternative provision in place? Does he have an EHCP? If so, have you requested an early review. If he doesn’t have an EHCP, have you requested an EHCNA?

Have you requested transport?

As well as DLA are you getting the correct amount of UC? Including the carer element, disabled or severely disabled children element for DC you receive DLA for and the correct bedroom rate if you rent?

Have you applied for any grants you may be eligible for?

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and assessment by the children with disabilities team for DC?

Is there any actual good reason not to reach out to their father? Of course he should be helping.

Just imagine, in some years time, you’ll have grown up kids you can have a laugh with etc.

It is hard right now, but always think of the future!