Anyone else’s kids not hear from their father at all this Xmas

[HowToDoItt]

Just that really…Anyone else’s kids not hear a single thing from their “father” this Xmas?. I feel sorry for them having such a pathetic excuse for a father. No presents not even a card, didn’t expect anything really but I just find it so odd. I didn’t see my father much growing up but without fail he always sent a card at Xmas acknowledging we exist. I bought everything for them and not even a single thing from him doesn’t even pay maintenance.

Why doesn’t he pay maintenance? That should be sorted at the very least. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to make him be a decent person.

Mine.
He's never paid anything either.

He doesn’t work so he does not need to pay maintenance.

My Ds dad hasn’t been in touch in 14 years Ds is 17 .. so expected nothing different

Flip it over.
DH has phoned (repeatedly) to her.l phones. Written a letter and a card. Called dozens of times etc. to DSS phone. (Controlled by ex)
His ex just blocks and ignores. Refuses access to the phone.
DSS is technically an adult (19) so can't go to court for access but DSS is severely autistic, can't work or go to college etc.
When we saw DSS he wanted to live with us.

The distance is 200miles. She moved away without telling DH.

She HATES us and does it just to spite DH.

Not t all separated Dads are bad.

@Redkatagain that is shit for your DH and DSS but kindly your reply to OP was not appropriate.

Bereaved of their father in November a few years ago.

I think it's always going to have its bad moments around Christmas

Respectfully, you are wrong.
The point is that there are 2 sides to every story.
You have only heard one side. You cannot possibly say what the situation actually is, so telling me that my response is inappropriate is wrong.
You canny possibly say what the Dad in this situation might say.

You are making judgmental comments without all the evidence.

Nope. My exh ghosted mine about 3 years ago. He does pay maintenance but has otherwise abandoned them,

And @Redkatagain whilst your story is sad, it's a completely different scenario.

That’s not relevant, maybe start your own thread for advice.

@HowToDoItt my daughter hasn’t heard from her father for 17 years, she even reached out to him this year and nothing.

This is completely irrelevant and inappropriate to post here.

OP it’s so tough but what can you do other than make sure they know they are amazing and loved? It’s something you have mo control over however hard the impact is to witness.

My DH has his own absent father who occasionally pops up and then ghosts DH again and even at 55 it’s a bit painful so for youngsters it’s bound to be hard.

Some men are just really shit fathers.

Yes so that makes 13 in a row now and we don't care

He has never spent Christmas with her or sent her a card or gift… she’s 12

My ex-ils have never missed a birthday or Christmas and despite an awkward relationship due to their disappointment in their son and wanting to blame me for him failing to parent I have always facilitated their relationship

This thread is about children who's Dad haven't been in contact at Christmas. You are suggesting that there is a different side to the story. Basically saying that it might not be the Dad's fault.

However. You expect people to believe your husband has tried really hard to stay in contact with his Son who moved 200 miles away. Maybe your husband abused his ex and she has cut contact for safety reasons. That could be the other side to your story. We don't know.

What we do know, is that this thread is not about your situation.

Sorry, I've quoted the wrong post

This thread is about children who's Dad haven't been in contact at Christmas. You are suggesting that there is a different side to the story. Basically saying that it might not be the Dad's fault.

However. You expect people to believe your husband has tried really hard to stay in contact with his Son who moved 200 miles away. Maybe your husband abused his ex and she has cut contact for safety reasons. That could be the other side to your story. We don't know.

What we do know, is that this thread is not about your situation.

Hey? I was also telling the other poster they were derailing a thread inappropriately. I think my DH situation is similar so was just empathising

I know. That's why I apologised for the misquote.

Mine hasn't heard from theirs until today. Not to all how their Christmas had been, but to (sadly) tell them his own Dad only has days to live.

We haven't. No card, nothing. He is currently trying to convince the Court he should take her full time too. Last thing he sent was for her birthday which was 4 days late because he doesn't remember it and hasn't sent her anything for over a decade If the Court can't see this is about hurting me rather than him giving a crap, there is no hope.

My ex was due to see the kids, but cancelled because his partners family were coming to visit.
Dick

Thanks all, going to ignore that poster! No other side to the story just another dead beat sadly not unusual!

He replied to a text from them, just as he did on Father's Day and his birthday. Otherwise no contact, no cards, no presents for yet another year. No maintenance either- just missed payments adding up every month.
it’s so usual for us that I’m never shocked but he really is utter scum. I tried for years whilst they were little; sent him cards, presents, photographs and we had 2 years when he turned up out of the blue with extravagant gifts and took them ice skating and to the panto. He has no shame.

My son (15) last saw his Dad just before Xmas last year. Haven't heard from him since except for a text and call (which DS chose not to answer) on his birthday in October.

Since we split 13 years ago, contact has been sporadic at times but this is the longest period of no contact. I just don't get it.....there hadn't been an argument or anything. My guess is he's started gambling again or fallen into some other addiction and is living in chaos.

My Son is very conflicted about it all. He doesn't want to make a first move, which I totally get, but I do wonder if one day he won't be able to choose one way or the other because his Dad won't be here.

My kids last saw their father in 2023 may so I shouldn’t be surprised really just don’t know how so many men detach from their own kids like they don’t exist