Do any of you ever feel lonely....

[noche]

Bit late really to start this but I can't sleep....just wanted to know if any of you other single mums ever feel lonely and if so what do you do about it? Just thinking about it really cos of bank holiday weekend coming up and hearing everyone's plans for weekends away "en famille" made me feel a bit out of the loop IYSWIM.

Hi noche ... I feel lonely EVERY evening, the phone doesn't ring, nobody visits (except by my inviting them weeks in advance) ... during the day the dc's keep me occupied but as soon as they are in bed the lonelyness hits ... I find it is worse at the weekends because as you say everybody is doing family things. Mind you this weekend I have arranged to meet a group of widows for lunch - but even that is during the day! Sorry I can't help but I can sympathise with you

god yes!

Yes - every night!

I've been separated/divorced for nearly 4 years now and it still feels crap at times-not always but today it definitely does. I just need to find an outlet somehow and don't know what to do. I don't get much time and I have abusy job but sometimes I just think there must be more to life-it feels like existing but not living...

Yes! The weekends are easier now (as I have some single-parent friends to meet with). But the evenings are very hard.

I've been divorced for 8 years this year. Not really had a proper relationship since.

Loneliness is totally soul destroying.
My family don't talk to me anymore, I've fallen out with my best mate (she has a ds now and lives 100 miles away).

Once the kids are in bed, I get pissed and work chat lines.

It's someone to bloody talk to.

Have just joined up with the OU too, in the hope it keeps my mind busy on other things.

Agree with noche, that there must be more to life than this?
I never get any time to myself, except when the kids are in bed, and then it's too late to do anything!

Sometimes I'm that lonely and depressed I'm too depressed to even go on the depressed threads and to apathetic to post full stop. Well I've posted here so maybe that's a start.

the problem with loneliness is that after a while you think, "oh maybe its me". (rather than the situation)

Then you get so lonely, bored etc when you meet people you feel you don't have anything interesting to say, or you say too much as its nice to speak to an adult.

its a horrible place to be in

AMAZIN WOMAN I do that too! Rabbbit on and divulge all sorts of stuff then feel a complete idiot!It's like you get overcome when in company cos you're so unused to it!I get irrationally mad too when friends or family don't call. I go to counselling and my counsellor asked me last week what I wanted for my life in the future and I couldn't think of an answer. Was full of aspirations for DD and for me as her mum, but couldn't think of a single thing for me! I also feel reluctant to ask peole to do something cos I think they'll say no cos they're busy and then I'll feel crap so to avoid feeling crap, I don't ask. Also I think if they say yes it's because they feel sorry for me! God is there any hope??!!

I am newly separated (4 months ago) and I don't mind evenings, as for the first time in years I get to watch what I want on TV, talk to who I want to on the phone and I don't have a husband constantly criticising/swearing at me. I'm too knackered to do anything anyway, after working or looking after the two kids all day. But I know what noche means about bloody bank holidays - loads of "happy" families cavorting around parks, pubs, gardens, play areas and shops!! I find Sundays particularly awful - me and the boys go out amidst all of these family units and I feel like some sort of social outcast, looking at "what might have been" all around me. I feel like I can't contact my married friends with kids on a Sunday because they are having quality time together with Daddy and so I often find that I've spent from 7am to bedtime without having talked to a single adult. Then I go to work on Monday and have to listen to loads of familt related Sunday stories - great. The thing is, I don't know any other single mums - are there any out there in Northumberland?

i having crap couple of weeks so i completely understand where you coming from look at gingerbread website www.oneparentfamlies.org and see if they have any groups that are local to you. there aren't any in my area, the nearest one is the best part of an hour's bus ride away and costs a fortune on the bus. i hav ebeen thinking of starting one up in local area - maybe you could do the same?? xxx

God yes, some nights. Other times i luuuurve having the house to myself!

I am like, googoomama, in that I quite enjoy having the evenings to myself - infact I quite look forward to putting the boys to bed & having my chill out time. I watch what I want on TV (always used to be ex H in charge of the remote!), listen to music, or spend time on the PC. However, like GGM, I don't like Sundays & bank holidays. I am often stuck in with the boys (doesn't help that I can't drive), and rarely see my friends, as they are all off doing family things. They always seem like the longest days, and it is then that I crave adult conversation!

Weekends when kids are at dad's - yes. Would love to have someone to go for a walk with, go into London with, see a film with. My fault probably for being so bad at keeping in touch with friends in the past. New friends are all married and/or live miles away.

it's not that I mind evenings cos as you have allsaid, you get to chill out, watch what you lik eontely etc, and I have work to do as well, but it's the lack of adult company and wondering if anyone actually would notice if you just disappeared! The feeling that other people are having a high old time and you're not! I just wish sometimes that there was someone to cook and eat a meal with, someone to talk over the day with, someone else to do some of the jobs etc etc. I don't feel ready to meet anyone else though, don't want to give up my independence, and VERY afraid of making the same mistake again but I guess you can't have it all ways!

I felt at the lowest I've been for a while yesterday.

Someone in a small group of friends has caused trouble so I am now an outsider-I was a good friend to her and I don't know why she did this to me when she knows that I'm really vulnerable right now.

I had to hear her group arranging their fun filled weekend-was like a kick in the stomach.I've had a crappy week and stuff's been building up with no way to let it out

Then my ds had a meltdown,when all I wanted to do was get him and my dd and get home quickly.

I ended up bursting into tears on the phone when my ds's psych phoned up-in front of my dd and ds.

I know things WILL get better,but is so hard when there's nobody to talk to-getting cut off was the last thing I needed.

I'll be so glad when and if the house sale finally goes through,so we can move and get on with our lives.

wooga Is there anyone from the group you can get on your side? Could you/ Would you set them straight? If they are all against you what harms it going to do.
Farking HATE women when they do shit like that, really bloody...YUK.
I find going to bed early helps...but what sort of life is that

I can identify with everyones posts so far... I love having time to myself and I love being with dd too. But sometimes, for no reason, it can seem worse than others. Some evenings I feel I am going out of my mind and just want to run out the house, even for a 10m walk (of course I don't!) and others I just relsih pottering about or doing whatever I want.
Today was pretty bad. I had looked forward to a sunny beach day with dd. It started off lovely but as the day went on I became increasingly aware of being 'alone'. Families and couples with babies were everywhere and I could almost imagine what it might feel like to have someones arm around me. I ended up walking along the seafront with tears streaming down my face (thank god I had giant sunglasses on!)
I hate those moments of self pity!
I'm ok now and do try and keep positive about lkife and look forward to the day I may meet someone special, but I really don't have any advice other than to say you are not alone in how you feel and, for the second time tonight, thank god for mn!

I've tried but I know that I'm wasting my time,I guess one day they'll realise what she's really like.

I'm fed up with the cliquey bitchy stuff that women do to each other.I know not all women are like that-my mum is still good friends with all the mums she be-friended when I was little,just my bad luck I suppose.

I'm keeping well away in future,once bitten and all that.

Oh yes,MN is a lifesaver!

i find evenings the worst. I like being single and being my own boss but sometimes i wish someone else could take responsibility and do the evening routine. as much as i love bathing ds is a bit difficult atm with an enormous bump. I just wish someone could take over for a bit and do the evening things, then join me for a chat and a bite to eat. half the time i dont bother eating propperly because i dont see the point in cooking for just me. so i dont cook. lol ds gets a nice meal. I would bother if i had someone to sit down and enjoy it with but instead i have to sit in silence on my own. The sad thing is i have pleanty of things to do but i feel so fed up and alone that i dont have the energy or momentum. Im so pathetic but i cant help it right now. x

Charlotte I'm the same-loads to do but no inclination to do any of them. I just think well I 've got all this time, i can do them tomorrow, then tomorrow...Mind you today I forced myself to get on with some gardening and there's nothing like a bit of vigourous digging to clear the mind! It's as someone said though, you can't even go out for a walk. I keep threatening to get myself an exercise DVD, but haven't!
I know this will pass but just at the moment it's well and truly crap

I like having the house to myself of an evening, but im still getting used to spending weekends without the dc.

i am alnoe.i dont care anymore.dad is bsard.he shuold die

are you ok coping? I'm joining you in a lonely drink