Council help for homeless mother.

[soldiermom]

Good evening to everyone. I’d like to share my story because I need some advise as I’m becoming a young single mum in London. Anyone who will read it and help in any kind of way I’d like to say big thank you in advance. I’ll try to go give you as short view of my situation as possible. So I’ve just found I’m pregnant a week ago. I’m 24 years old. I’ve been working full time as a store assistant in supermarket since I moved to London (2019). I’ve changed my council&been renting a room since last September from a landlord that live-in (old man) & we’re not really getting too well with each other as it’s his private house and it’s only me and him. He doesn’t really mind me like that because I work 40h in a week so I’m not “there” as much as someone else would be, so I’m not disturbing his space and he still getting his money for “renting me a room”. I’ve been struggling with asthma, depression and PTSD. I’ve just started my talking therapies in my council as well. Everything with GP always takes so long.. Anyway, most likely I’ll be a very single mother. So I’m tryna stay strong and keep looking for as many information as I can get. To be clear, my landlord will definitely won’t let me stay there with a baby, furthermore my contract finishes in march. My baby is due in May. What kind of help I can legally get from council? In my council you need to live 6 years there to be able to put yourself on the list with council flats.. I’ve been there for a year, when baby’ll be born it’ll be about 1,5 year. I’ll definitely get eviction letter from my landlord. Will council put me into hostel with a baby/give me a temporary accommodation (I earn 2k a month after tax, but obviously it’s not even enough to rent a studio flat in London..) Will council help me and the baby regardless my earnings? Will they consider that I might be vulnerable to them as I’ve asthma, depression and PTSD? And what after baby it’s born? Obviously I’ll get a maternity but then? How I’d be able to get back to work? What kind of financial support they’re giving to single mother? Is there any kind of nursery for kids after 9 months? Will they pay for it or I’ll need to be fully on benefits and resign from my work? I don’t really want to become someone who’s “sitting on benefits” (WITHOUT OFFENDING ANYONE). I’m sorry for such a messy message but my head’s all over the place and I just don’t know if I can do it by myself without having a flat & savings & no help. It’s absolutely stressing me out. Any kind of experience, your story, the numbers, the emails or whatever please let me know. I’ll be forever grateful for any help words/ideas.

If you're keeping the baby then can you move back to your parents' house or another family member's house? You say you've only recently moved to London so you have stronger connections elsewhere. Shop assistant jobs are everywhere and cost of living is cheaper outside of London.

Honestly, at 23 I made the decision not to continue with my pregnancy because I couldn't afford it.

I was living in a house share, earning good money across two jobs in 60+hr weeks and trying to pay off student debt. I could never have afforded to live alone, raise a child and try to manage a career (plus a second job) at that stage of my life. So I didn't.

What is the potential father doing to support? What are his plans?

I think OP’s family network is abroad so I would urge her to explore whether that is more feasible than staying in London and raising a child with no support.

I read it as the Op has lived in London for 5 years - since 2019 and has only moved from one London borough to another London borough.

There are plenty of people who don't have both parents. They're fine.

I'd consider what you can offer a child . Not much from the looks of. You have no stability to raise a child and as hard as it is it's not just about you what about the child . You say you don't want to sit around on benefits but that is likely how you'll end up . Isolated and dirt poor . I'd think very carefully before proceeding with this pregnancy.

Plenty of us raise a child in London without a job or any support to start with OP. What happens is that your life changes completely, you meet lots of other parents, some in similar positions, and hopefully you support one another. There are local community centres, children's centres, parks, baby drop ins all over London and most if these offer advice and signposting to employment support as well as parenting classes and other help.

Pregnancy and beyond can wreak havoc with mental health, so it's good not to worry, but to get some information and mental health support in place in preparation if possible.

The main problem is, as you say, the housing, as that's really hard to find if you're pregnant or have a baby. I hope you can find a solution soon.

It's going to be a very hard road so think carefully if you do have choices.

I wouldn't be bringing a child into the situation you describe.

That's really unhelpful. I became a single parent through no fault of my own. I have raised two children, one who has a successful career and lives independently now and my son, who is neurodivergent, has grown into a beautiful young man. Whilst it's probably preferable for children to have two parents in a stable relationship, please don't minimise the efforts of those of us who are alone but still manage to be good parents.

Check a website
'What am I entitled to' there is lots of help with universal credit and they will pay towards a flat and nursery when you go back to work. You can work and get top up benefits. If your landlord kicks you out I March then you will indeed be 'homeless' then so they are duty bound to help you. This could be in a hotel - might not be the worst when you have a baby but you wouldn't be able to cook for yourself.
Where are you from? Could you go and stay with parents during your maternity leave?

This is probably a good idea and your supermarket might be able to transfer you to another branch so you can stay employed?

You need to ask the local authority where you currently live for advice. Some really can't house you and will find you accommodation anywhere in the country. No one posting here can give you exact advice as each borough will have different issues and ways of dealing with those issues.

While I agree that single parents can manage just fine a woman who has multiple health conditions, no support network and no home probably won't
Absolute mess and there is 1 pretty quick and easy (in practical terms) way to sort it out.
Its your choice OP but you are in a very difficult situation already even without a baby so please be sure that having one is your best option

Hi OP,

I hope you’re ok. What did you decide to do in the end?

Firstly, I’m absolutely disgusted that other people are telling you you should not go through with your pregnancy. Ignore their unsolicited advice. To all those people - I can’t see on OP’s post, where she was asking others about their opinion on whether she should keep the baby!

knowledge is power. Approach organisations such as shelter, gingerbread (advice for single parents) and your local citizens advice to make sure that you are aware of all of your options with the legislation on housing.

I am going through a similar experience with housing as a single mother, but my ex partner is an active part of my daughter’s life (50/50). I would explore your other local connections, as this is something most councils expect.

Like other posters said, organisations will be able to signpost you to support groups where you will meet other people going through the same experience.

Wishing you strength and love 🩷