Council help for homeless mother.

[soldiermom]

Good evening to everyone. I’d like to share my story because I need some advise as I’m becoming a young single mum in London. Anyone who will read it and help in any kind of way I’d like to say big thank you in advance. I’ll try to go give you as short view of my situation as possible. So I’ve just found I’m pregnant a week ago. I’m 24 years old. I’ve been working full time as a store assistant in supermarket since I moved to London (2019). I’ve changed my council&been renting a room since last September from a landlord that live-in (old man) & we’re not really getting too well with each other as it’s his private house and it’s only me and him. He doesn’t really mind me like that because I work 40h in a week so I’m not “there” as much as someone else would be, so I’m not disturbing his space and he still getting his money for “renting me a room”. I’ve been struggling with asthma, depression and PTSD. I’ve just started my talking therapies in my council as well. Everything with GP always takes so long.. Anyway, most likely I’ll be a very single mother. So I’m tryna stay strong and keep looking for as many information as I can get. To be clear, my landlord will definitely won’t let me stay there with a baby, furthermore my contract finishes in march. My baby is due in May. What kind of help I can legally get from council? In my council you need to live 6 years there to be able to put yourself on the list with council flats.. I’ve been there for a year, when baby’ll be born it’ll be about 1,5 year. I’ll definitely get eviction letter from my landlord. Will council put me into hostel with a baby/give me a temporary accommodation (I earn 2k a month after tax, but obviously it’s not even enough to rent a studio flat in London..) Will council help me and the baby regardless my earnings? Will they consider that I might be vulnerable to them as I’ve asthma, depression and PTSD? And what after baby it’s born? Obviously I’ll get a maternity but then? How I’d be able to get back to work? What kind of financial support they’re giving to single mother? Is there any kind of nursery for kids after 9 months? Will they pay for it or I’ll need to be fully on benefits and resign from my work? I don’t really want to become someone who’s “sitting on benefits” (WITHOUT OFFENDING ANYONE). I’m sorry for such a messy message but my head’s all over the place and I just don’t know if I can do it by myself without having a flat & savings & no help. It’s absolutely stressing me out. Any kind of experience, your story, the numbers, the emails or whatever please let me know. I’ll be forever grateful for any help words/ideas.

You aren't really in the best position to be having a child, and at this extremely early stage you have lots of choices.

I would phone Shelter for advice regarding housing.

I would phone Gingerbread for advice regarding benefits, nursery etc

You can also look at the Turn2us website for financial info such as benefits

The very first thing you need to decide is whether this is a good time to have a baby, on your own from the sounds of it. Can you offer this child everything you want to? Probably not given your circumstances. A chat about this with BPAS may be helpful for you

I would first consider if you are in a position to bring up a child, will the dad be able to contribute much? What's his financial situation? The reality is you'll be in emergency housing for years if they even accept you have ties to the area - more likely they will rehouse you somewhere cheaper. Do you have family who can offer support?

Hey OP - I've been where you are. Hugs! 💐

We don't know the whole situation but I'd get to your GP ASAP to confirm the pregnancy and discuss your options. If you're choosing to keep the baby they will be able to signpost you in the right direction for support.

There's plenty of support out there, but it can feel overwhelming and quite mechanical. You're likely to get council help finding somewhere to live, but it's unlikely to be somewhere amazing. Likewise you'll be eligible for help with nursery fees, but things will still be tight and honestly unless you're currently working 9-5 nurseries don't tend to work around retail jobs.

I've been through this myself as I wasn't in the best place to have a child, but couldn't go through with an abortion. I did it, DS is now primary school aged and I managed to keep working throughout and increasing my earning potential so I can give us quite a nice life. It has been a very long, hard slog though, and I've envied those who waited til they were ready before having children. I can only imagine it being harder on minimum wage and not having adequate housing sorted just yet.

I'd suggest finding a good friend or family member to confide in if you can. Preferably someone reliable and low-drama, to have a sounding board through this process and have support through the challenges this will bring.

Good luck :)

Do not leave your job ! Your employer will pay maternity pay etc. esp as you have been with the employer for so long.
Then you return to your job when baby is x months old, baby goes to nursery then.

If you work for someone like ASDA there is so much help available, Grocery Aid being one. and lots of help re mental health - look at all the notice boards and every leaflet etc. in the staff canteen. you may be surprised at what you find if you start looking.
Companies like ASDA also have websites i.e. payroll / booking annual leave. You will find staff assistance on there too.

London is a very tough place to get housing in. There are whole families living in temporary accommodation, many who also have severe health issues.

You are going to need to make some tough decisions. If there is nothing tying you to London and you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy then you may be better off moving elsewhere. There's a great thread in classics of a single mum to 2 kids who moved to Glasgow. She documents her experience. Its worth a read.

@poppyzbrite4 has linked you to the best resources for expert help. Start there

Do you have any support from your family?
Parents? Siblings? Do they live far away?

Friends?

I hope it will all work out for you, OP.

You will struggle for the next 18 years if you become a single mother in a city like London.

A low paying supermarket job with no flexibility won't make a single mum's life easy.
Who helps in case of the child's illness? school holidays? What do you have of maternity leave? Opportunities to educate yourself away from a low paid job? Does the child's father have resources? His family? Your family?

Why London?
Don't expect a townhouse from the city you can afford just because of a pregnancy. There are so many waiting in line with needs.
Even well paid families can't afford London. UK is more than London.

I would seek councelling before decisions.

Housing won’t help you currently as you have somewhere to live. If landlords serves you the correct notice you can approach housing. I am presuming you share kitchen/bathroom with him so you have less rights and are known as an excluded occupier. However if he has given you a written tenancy he may not be able to evict you till the end of this. Check with Shelter
https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/renting/occupiers_with_limited_security/excluded_occupiers#title.
if you are homeless it will likely be emergency accommodation such as a hostel or hotel.lots of London boroughs because of the housing crisis as offering accommodation way out of London due to the housing crisis. My borough offering places such as Hull/Blackpool. Working families aren’t offered out of London so they don’t lose job but I don’t know about whether you would be offered if on maternity leave.
You don’t need to prove vulnerability to housing as you already have a priority need as you’re pregnant.
mother and baby homes are offered through social services if they mother needs to be monitored, so unless you have or will have social services involvement this is not an option.

Check with a service such as CAB or Children’s Crntre what welfare benefits you may be able to get and with your employer about maternity pay.

hope it works out for you

adding to say, I have heard that some London Boroughs are so short of social housing that they have contacts in other towns in England and you may be offered a property elsewhere SO another reason not to leave your employer !
as most supermarkets will allow/arrange a transfer.
I have worked for M&S and ASDA and have seen colleagues arrive from other branches by their request and seen colleagues depart to other branches at their request.

and...don't forget the staff discount !!! is useful for buying baby bits and the big 4 all sell baby clothes etc. and someone like ASDA sells even more stuff online ! think of double discount events and things like ' baby ' events - ASDA do both and I suppose the other supermarkets do too.

Do you really want to have a baby? I absolutely wouldn't in your position.

The council have to house you if you are deemed homeless but that could be miles from London in a hostel or anything. Also yes there is nursery’s available for children at 9 months but they don’t pay for it you will need to out of your wage.

As a single parent, you can get benefits on top of wages to help with rent. You can also get help with childcare costs when your child is older.

It's very hard, but there are organisations that can help. There are Home Start charities in many London boroughs and they can send a volunteer to visit you weekly for a while and help you access other support or meet other mums locally.

Housing really is the main problem, as there are long waiting lists.

What London borough are you in?

I'm in London and council won't help you until you receive a section 21 informing you of eviction - even then they will try to keep you where you are & if they cannot then they put you in a b&b - they use independent hostels and even travel lodges where I live due to the shortages- from there it can be anywhere as "temporary" - literally anywhere in the country - and they can move you whenever.

They'll then add you to the housing register (regardless of how long you've lived there as you will have a dependent and are homeless) Once baby is born and you show birth certificate you can apply for a 2 bedroom property on the council bidding list - however; the wait for one in my borough currently is 12 years for a 2 bed.

You would be entitled to universal credit; they pay up to 85% (I think) of childcare costs - depending on your wage.
If you resign from work I'm not sure if you would be entitled to UC or if they would make you go a period of no money due to intentionally making yourself unemployed.

Nurseries / childminders take babies from 3 months - obviously your choice when and if you use them.

This.

Do you really want to have a baby? I absolutely wouldn't in your position.

This.

I had my son at the age of 36, when I had housing and employment secured.
Family help too. Single mum.

Get advice from Shelter, CAB or a local law centre.

In short, the council would have to help you find somewhere if you were (becoming) homeless, eg the resident owner of the house asked you to leave. You have fewer rights than if you were renting a separate place and he doesn’t need a court order to make you leave.

But if you can’t find anywhere or if it’s an emergency and you’re at immediate risk of being street homeless, what they find you might not be great at all. They have hostels for families who are homeless and some people have been stuck in them for a very long time.

They don’t have to offer you social housing if this is what you mean, they can in the end find you somewhere privately rented.

Afaik councils, especially in London, can be difficult to deal with, so I’d get professional advice asap.

I’m not a lawyer, btw.

Unlikely the council will be able to house you in London. You maybe have to be willing to move out of it. Good luck, sounds like a horrible situation.

It doesn’t sound like you have much of a support network here. Why do you want to stay in London? Would you have a better support network and housing opportunities back home?

You say you don’t want to be sitting on benefits but that what happens when people have babies when they have no homa and can’t provide one.

You earn ok, so I would consider moving out of London and seeing if you can make life affordable somewhere else. The council might move you out of the area anyway.

This is not the time to start a family OP.

The council will likely offer you accommodation outside of London.

Take it.

Loads of ex Londoners have moved outside of London and are happy.

As you don’t have any family or support in London what do you have to lose?

It is a hard life you are choosing but it is your choice to make.

Take care.

You are not in a position to provide for a child. Children deserve and need two parents. Consider your options carefully. I doubt if you have any rights at all as a 'lodger' in your landlord's house.

Single parents can raise a child perfectly fine. Happens everyday in UK. It's not a fair statement