AIBU: Ex living in house with no opening windows (fire risk?)

[Overthinker89]

Hey all, what do you think?
My ex has moved to a house whereby none of the windows open wide enough for a human not even a child to get out so if there was a fire it would be a case of the front or back door or nothing. It's a design flaw from the 80s before the fire regs about having to have a window in bedrooms that could serve as a fire exit came in. I can't help but worry about my son being there overnight with no windows upstairs he could get out of if there was a fire. It's double glazed so nearly impossible for an adult to break the glass. There are wooden stairs and banisters and no fire doors downstairs. Am I being unreasonable? Or should I be worried. I checked and it's illegal for the landlord to rent him a bedroom (our son sleeps in a cot in my exes room when he is with his Dad.) but he refuses to acknowledge it may be an issue just saying I'm over worrying. What do others think. He is with Dad 2-3 nights a week but hasn't been since I found out about the windows not opening more than a few inches in all the bedrooms. You can't adjust it either it's the design of the frame.

It's not an issue until it is. Wouldn't allow my child to stay there.

I stayed in a hotel with no windows to even look out once! Was very strange. I wouldn't want it as a house. A night is a one off but to live there is a huge fire risk!

Standard double glazed windows are quite easy to break. It would have to be polycarbonate or laminated glass before it gets really difficult.

What makes you think that these ones aren't just standard glass?

I think it might be quite difficult to break and clear of glass safely in rapid time in a dark smoke filled room with a young toddler wriggling around potentially. I've just ready about how it is relatively difficult to break double glazed glass unless you have the right equipment? I could be wrong but really what might be a better idea is just putting in a new window frame I'm happy. Ro pay for half (250 each for peace of mind that my toddler is staying somewhere where he could exit a house if it caught fire.

Do you think that mums in similar accommodation shouldn't have the care of their children either?

Stop trying to find reasons for your child not to stay with his dad

Has it got working smoke alarms?

Buy a glass hammer.

Also, windows are important for egress but it's more important to HAVE windows so the Fire Brigade knows you're there and that you need rescued. Opening is good but windows full stop are important.

I don’t think any such regulation exists though?

I live in a new build flat and the windows only open a few inches from the top.

When my eldest was 2yrs old, he managed to break the glass in a French door by hitting it with the corner on some lego. And that was double glazed and shatterproof.

Sometimes a tiny risk to life is a price worth paying for our children to have things that have value. I used to walk down the road to ballet class with my DD every Saturday and we could easily have been run over crossing the road. We looked both ways at the zebra crossing to minimise the risk but I acknowledged that the non-zero risk was a price worth paying for the value of the class to her development.

A parent should be worth more than a primary age ballet class. Buy him an emergency glass hammer for Christmas.

Are you sure there is no safety catch. Our upstairs windows can be opened by clicking the hinges when opening. 2 hands but then they open fully.

If it’s rented then the landlord has to put them in? I had this issue and my mum was worried and bought me a special hammer which could smash the glass, not sure if it would smash double glazing but worth checking

@Flopsythebunny I would love for my child to be able to stay with his Dad a few nights a week it is incredible having some free time to myself as much as I love my son. I also love seeing him and his Dad together and I would by no means aim to stop that but it's more about whether or not it would be a safe environment should a fire break out. It's stipulated under the housing act 2004 and fire safety act 21 that if you rent a room to a lodger it needs to have a viable escape exit via a window or protected staircase. I just feel uneasy about it is all. I'd love him to keep seeing his Dad and actually he has seen him here and stayed in the spare room every night so they can see each other still (I go out) while this gets sorted.

You've misunderstood the regs, they stipulate that all bedrooms should have a window, there's nothing about how it opens. The rationale being that the fire brigade or inhabitants can smash through the window.

You're very unreasonable to stop contact because of this, it would be true of many modern properties. In fact it's more common to have windows that have restrictors on these days as the greater risk is from a child opening the window and falling.

Oo a glass hammer could be a good solution thanks all. I think if you own the property then it's okay re your new build flat I think the issue comes when you are renting out to others. I also take normal everyday trips with my son to classes and have a bike seat on my bike and get in a car and take him to. nursery and the park and the beach and all the usual things that let him live life and develop. I'm not scared of taking approproate risks and do many cost benefit analysis of risk vs opportunity all the time but being stuck in a burning building seems like a biggie? But, it is good to hear the counter arguments so maybe a compromise would be an emergency glass hammer. It's in all our interests our son gets to see his Father of course I'm not trying to prevent that.

To be clear I haven't stopped contact. His Dad has been coming here on the nights he is due to have him and I've been going out/staying with friends so they still get their time together. He has only been in this new room for a few weeks so it's something we're working through. In his old place he stayed with his dad 2-3 nights a week which was great for everyone and we work hard to coparent. The guidance and housing acts do say about having a window that can be used as an exit if you are a lodger in a bedroom. If it's your property then it meets building regs but if you rent it out it's a different ballgame I think.. His dad is renting

If this was an issue, then none of the flats in my new build would be rented out. I think you’ve misunderstood something here. I think I could get out of the bedroom window but in my previous flat, I couldn’t.

but I’m not sure how I’d get down to the ground unless the drainpipe counts. It’s a small block so only one staircase.

It can be used as an exit though cant it?

As in the actual window size is big enough for a fireman to get through, once the glass is broken or restrictors broken

Flats and multiple occupancy buildings don't have to have fire escape windows because the buildings have to be build in a way that considers fire safety to be signed off. So for example high rises mustnt have flammable cladding, must be built with fire doors, have protected coridoors and in some cases sprinkler systems. Private houses esp old 2 ups and 2 downs don't have the same building regs so in the case of terraced housing (not flats) or HMO they have to have viable escape windows in the bedrooms. And ofc I don't think he should stop seeing his child, I think we should work together to press his landlord into doing something about it and in the meantime he uses my space to stay but it's not ideal s we need a solution. My.annoyance comes from him just saying no it's not an issue and not wanting to ask the landlord to make changes. I do empathise with his situation but I also do have a duty not to ship my son off to a building with no fire safety measures. I asked him if it had smoke alarms and his response was "I'm not prepared to discuss that with you."

@soupfiend Yes. If a fire person arrived in time. Or he had his phone on him to call 999. He sleeps with it charging downstairs. So I'm not filled with faith he would even have a phone to call the fire department.

Windows are not escape routes. You should have early warning by way of a fire detection system and exit through a front or rear door.

You should focus on whether the detection works and the doors can be opened easily in an emergency.

Thanks all it's been good to get some different takes. Esp the person suggesting a glass hammer. I have made it as clear as poss to his dad that I want them to still see each other as much as poss as we have always gone that and my son is now two. If anything it is usually him deciding against seeing our son sometimes at the last minute with little notice and me asking him to please stick the the arrangements. I want him to grow up knowing his Dad. He is our son and I understand we both love him. It's just a firetrap I think.

My grown up DC couldn't get out of the windows of their basement rooms in my flat.

About 350 people die in fires each year in the UK compared to just over 1,600 killed on our roads in 2023. It is a very small risk.
My guess is that risky behaviour, smoking, drinking and making chips in a chip pan, significantly increases the risk so if you don't indulge in risky behaviour your risk of dying in a fire is very low.