Played dad for 3 days then decided it wasn't for him

[JMichelle]

So I decided to go through my pregnancy alone as dad didn't want me to have the baby, I always told him if he wanted to be a dad the door would always be open for him, he came to the hospital after I had the baby and he met his son, when I was home from hospital he came round a few times to see baby, the situation broke down a few weeks later after he got drunk and sent to be threatening and abusive messages, because I explained to him that he can see his child but not in my house and I wouldn't have him talking to me in that way anymore. Since that happened 4 months ago he's not tried to see the baby once and even gone as far as now telling people the child isn't it. Cue last weekend where I got a message out of the blue telling me his new girlfriend is 4 months pregnant and when the baby is here both of them are going to meet each other. I calmly explained that he hasn't bothered with his son for 4 months so he's in no place to throw demands around when he's a stranger to our son anyway. Now because I've not bowed down to him, he's gone back to saying he's not the dad again 😂 if I don't laugh I'm going to cry

Thank you.

He's now got another woman pregnant I don't think he's that dead set on not wanting to be a dad...

No he just wants to be with someone he can control and when he says jump they say how high

Another oh so fucking helpful contribution from "look at me, I'm child free" Ginger. Yes we know, you don't like kids, funny how you're on a parenting site so much for someone not interested.

Like it or not, you decided to have sex with him and he is his father.Your child deserves the chance to know his father. I would agree to dc seeing theor Dad even if he is a brick unless you think they'd be in danger in his care.

Oh bollocks, nothing about "look at me" etc.
This site is not just about parenting though,
it's got other helpful stuff.

Please don't assume I sex with him willingly after speaking to certain organisations it was a coercive relationship

I guarantee he did that thinking his new gf will look after your son instead of him (regardless of soon having her own to single-handedly raise no doubt) and he can do the fun bits with your son. Someone sterilise him ffs.

It's become a bit of an assumption that kids can grow up with a mum and that will be that, and they'll be fine. Whilst I absolutely do not think you should bend over backwards for this man or do anything apart from the bare minimum for this absolute tosser, just be mindful that your child will want to know and will be curious. I certainly was. My mum didn't tell me anything about mine and it kind of messed me up a bit. I'm a single parent now but I would just be honest and try to be civil. No matter what you say, your child will have a romanticised version of his or her father in their head. It hurts enough to know they can't be assed without your mum bad mouthing them too. Wishing you all the luck xx

No he's a not a high earner from what I've been told by his oldest child's mum she gets pennies