Played dad for 3 days then decided it wasn't for him

[JMichelle]

So I decided to go through my pregnancy alone as dad didn't want me to have the baby, I always told him if he wanted to be a dad the door would always be open for him, he came to the hospital after I had the baby and he met his son, when I was home from hospital he came round a few times to see baby, the situation broke down a few weeks later after he got drunk and sent to be threatening and abusive messages, because I explained to him that he can see his child but not in my house and I wouldn't have him talking to me in that way anymore. Since that happened 4 months ago he's not tried to see the baby once and even gone as far as now telling people the child isn't it. Cue last weekend where I got a message out of the blue telling me his new girlfriend is 4 months pregnant and when the baby is here both of them are going to meet each other. I calmly explained that he hasn't bothered with his son for 4 months so he's in no place to throw demands around when he's a stranger to our son anyway. Now because I've not bowed down to him, he's gone back to saying he's not the dad again 😂 if I don't laugh I'm going to cry

I hope you have applied for maintenance.

My ex tried this , he had an affair when my daughter was 3 months old . He barely saw her then had another child . I wasn’t sure about them meeting as I know what a waste of space he is . I’m glad I was cautious as he hasn’t seen my daughter for 20 years.

To be honest having this waste of space in your life will be a nightmare for the next 18 years.
I'd tell him "yes you're right - the baby isn't yours so f off and never contact me again".
If he is that desperate to be a dad he will have to go to court for DNA tests etc.
I doubt he will bother.

I hope he isn't on the birth certificate.

Is he on the birth certificate? Does this prince work? Are you claiming maintenance?

Stop being surprised, this is who he is. Claim what you can from him and have zero other expectations. Good luck x

No he isn't on the birth certificate there was more of a chance of hell freezing over than him going on it

Yeah I'm going to stop trying to convince him he's the dad and leave him be. He definitely won't go to court

Yes they couldn't find him

What an utter waste of space

@JMichelle

if they found him, would the maintenance be significant?

if not I'd just block him on everything and move if possible, make it as difficult as possible for him to keep bothering you.

You & DS will be much better off without this asswipe in your lives!!

To be honest I don't want maintenance off him, I've had it where my oldest children's dad uses maintenance to still control me and its more hassle than its worth

Yes I know its not my money, I'm very aware

With his form he'll probably dump the next one as well, when he realises parenthood is a lifetime commitment.
The child maintenance service needs to be toughened up. Monies should be deducted from the wage straight to the mother. No ducking out of it.

Also men who keep fathering babies with different women and running off should be forceably sterilised 🫠

It might not be the OP's money, the maintenance, but it's for the child-and if she's able to bring them up without it (which she clearly can, or she'd be wanting to go for it) then all power to her. Better off without this guy in your child's life, OP

Personally, I would cease all contact and block him every way possible. You don't need his bullshit and abuse in your life.

He didn't want to be a dad.
I never wanted to become a mother.
Full stop.

Sorry, obviously I'm not a mother, just to add.

No, not at all. 😐