Sorry i don't think you have got your priorities right here at all. You don't want to take your son away from his high sleeper bed because he loves it so much. But you don't think too much about taking him away from his dad who i'm sure he loves a whole heap more than his high sleeper bed... If you can't bear to part him from his bed you're going to find it a whole lot harder to handle when you see what separating the children from their dad actually envolves emotionally for them.
Are you sure you're not suffering from depression, post natal or otherwise? Speak to your doctor and see what they can think. They may also be able to refer you to a councellor.
You need to think of what is best for your children. Having a happy mother is important, but taking this step isn't going to resolve things magically or overnight (or any time soon). You will not become a happy mother just by leaving your husband an dthings could get a lot worse for you all before they get any better.
Talking to each other when you are hurt upset and angry will not get you anywhere. You need to speak to each other with a councellor who can help you both talk but more importantly listen to each other.
BTW I know far more people who walked away from their ex for no reason other than they weren't 'in love' any more and regret it completely when they realise the implications of being a single parent and see teh effect it has on their children. If your husband was violent, abusive etc that would be different and leaving in those circumstances is quite different.
Mariage is something you both have to work at to make successful. Remember marriage is very much a bed of roses (a bed of roses is full of thornes and manure when you get up close, it takes a lot of hard graft, time and effort to keep it together, and from a distance it looks and smells lovely...) Is your idea of what marriage is and should be realistic? We grow up ina world full of fairytales and magazines talk about the 'new men' etc but reality is not like that. Are your expectations of how things should be too high maybe? What are you hoping to find that your husband can't or isn't giving you?
I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Deciding to walk away is a tough thing to do, and if it's the right thing for you then i do think you should do it. I'm just trying to help you see that sometimes our judgement can be clouded when we are in the middle of the situation. Try and step outside from it and see it for what is actually is.
I agree entirely with those who say the cost of relate is nothing compared to the emotional and financial cost of seperation and/or divorce. Do it and do it right now. Phone the relate people and make that appointment and then ask your ex to come with you.
Best wishes
Gilly