How do people with children split up?

[bignose]

Can someone tell me how am I going to leave my husband?
We have 2 children together.Im not prepared to go in to a hostel as my ds starts school in Sept and I just couldnt handle the guilt if it affects him too much.I need it to run as smooth as poss.
There is somewhere(friends house) that I could stay but I dont have any money.
Im a childminder so dont earn enough to ever save.
What could I claim for if I moved in with a friend?
How long would the money take to start?
I would have to give up work if moved too so I wouldnt earnh anything then.
How can it affect the children?
How hard is it?
Can ayone tell me their stories and give me advice please?

Gilly.Thank you.
I came on here because I didnt have alcue what to expect,what people do in this situation,why people leave etc.
I have now been given the best advice and yes it was stupid to even thik about the bed like that!
I was being naive&poss ignorant too.

Relate will see you for nothing if you can't afford to pay. They are a charity.

If the marriage is truly over then it's over and the sooner you get out and on with your life the better for all concerned.

It will be VERY painful for a while for everyone. It will be messy, ugly, expensive and slow. Life will be horribly difficult. You will likely see your xdh miserable and will have the guilt of knowing that it is your fault. Your children will be confused and upset, and you will feel guilty for messing up their lives.

However, I believe that this is all relatively short term (say, a few years). Long term, it is better not to live a lie and live in misery.

So get some counselling - ideally on your own to start with - because you have some hard decisions and hard years ahead. Good luck

I'd agree with the idea of getting advice. It sounds like none of you have anywhere to go, but if it does come to breaking up, it's probably better that you stay in the house with your son. Maybe counselling will make you think about whether you want to give it another go, but if you don't, you need to talk about how you can both be there for your son etc.

Sorry, reading properly, how you can be there for both of your kids, whether you split up or stay together.

My parents split up at the time I was born, mainly because my dad decided he was in love with someone else. My dad and mum's second marriages both split up too - my dad's kids were 10 and 8, my mum's kids were 15 and 12. All much harder for them than me, if it was going to happen.

I'm not going to assume that it would be better for you to stay together, nor to split, I've no idea which is the case from a short post, I don't know you. But you say you still care about him, that's a basis for sorting out a future for you, him and your two kids than can be happier than now, whatever happens to your relationship. Good luck.