Please could people advise on their experiences of contact and court ordered progression to overnights for toddlers when one parents has never done overnights with the child.
Parents split during pregnancy but both (now) have PR (given to dad to avoid court, reluctantly).
Toddler (under 18m) has lived with mother with father usually visiting 1-2 times a week, takes toddler out and about to local parks etc. Has not yet taken toddler to own home which is about 45 mins away (his choice, still getting the new home ready apparently).
Father has recently shared he’s moved in with a new girlfriend and her children. Would now suddenly like the new arrangement to be 50/50 to mirror what new girlfriend’s children do with them.
Mother feels this is very sudden, toddler is not ready for this big living change, too much too soon, and also feels father has not yet enough experience of parenting and also he is not the most safety conscious or most sensible person and has volatile temper (only a tiny bit of concrete proof of this though). Baby still cries out for mum in the middle of the night and has never spent a night away from her.
Parents do not have a good relationship or communicate well, little trust either way. He has threatened and bullied her in the past and not listened to advice for keeping baby safe.
Father feels he has enough parenting experience now from spending time with new girlfriend’s older children so 50/50 would be ‘fair’ (he pays child maintenance very reluctantly despite it being far less than half the nursery fees).
Mediation is planned.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and it’s gone to court? Was 50/50 agreed? If not, what was agreed? If a progression was expected towards overnight and then longer periods away what age did that start and how long was the child separated from resident parent from from at first? What age did overnights start for the first time? What factors do they take into account when deciding?
I am wondering what I have to agree to now to avoid the risk of a court order of 50/50 or anything close to that which right now I don’t think is in babies interest to suddenly have a big change and not have the language to understand why or accept verbal reassurances. It’s great that baby enjoys afternoons out with his dad and they can bond then, but I feel that the bedtime routine and waking up next to mum is important to feel safe and secure. I also feel baby would be much happier with an overnight when he has more language.
Ps not looking for opinions on what’s right and wrong as I know people here will either think strongly 50/50 is best, regardless of a child’s normal routine up till now, or babies need to be with mums, I’m wondering if there is any actual examples from court as it’s a bit of an unusual one for someone to want nothing and then suddenly want everything. I’m just not sure what a court would think about this.