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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Is this a date??

27 replies

Fluffybubble · 08/04/2008 12:50

I am about even asking this..! I am not fifteen...but...

I have been emailing a friend of my brother's for ages, and we have all been out (brother also) to the cinema and for something to eat.

We are now off to the cinema tomorrow night (my suggestion), and yesterday I asked friend if he had mentioned it to my brother, and if he wanted to. He replied that he hasn't asked him, so we are going alone.

I have been single for three years now, and had a couple of awful dates through internet sites about eighteen months ago. My exh and I got together when we were in sixth form at school, and I have never really done the whole dating scene...Again !!

So, in your opinions, is this possibly a date?? Btw - there is also a not inconsiderable age difference, he is 28 and I am 33...

Thanks!

OP posts:

ipodtherforipoor · 08/04/2008 12:51

sounds possible!!!!

chocolatespiders · 08/04/2008 12:51

OMG that is a date for sure as my 10 year old would say...

very jelious after being single also for 3 years....

have a greta time
and let us know how it goes>>>>> how exciting

OverMyDeadBody · 08/04/2008 12:56

Well it could be a date, is that what you intended when you asked him?

It does sound like he wants to go alone with you though! I'm not really sure what constitutes a date anymore these days either though...

OverMyDeadBody · 08/04/2008 12:57

Have your emails back and forth been flirtatious at all or purely platonic? (just out of curiosity really)

claricebeansmum · 08/04/2008 12:59

It sounds like a date to me but a sort of low key one IYSWIM.

Quite exciting and nice that you know him a bit already to.

claricebeansmum · 08/04/2008 12:59

It sounds like a date to me but a sort of low key one IYSWIM.

Quite exciting and nice that you know him a bit already to.

gillybean2 · 08/04/2008 12:59

It's a date, but whether it's a romantic one or simply a friendship one waits to be seen. Don't expect too much at this point, but play it by ear. You'll be able to tell from his body language and choice of film more than likely, and if you can't then see if he tries to hold your hand in the cinema or leans in for that goodnight kiss... If he doesn't maybe you should!

Have fun
Gilly

BernieBear · 08/04/2008 12:59

Just wanted to wish you all the best - sounds good. I had my first date in six years on Saturday........and my second this saturday

claricebeansmum · 08/04/2008 13:04

If he offers to buy the tickets and popcorn then it's a date

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 08/04/2008 13:05

Ooh, lots of replies..you are all so quick!

The emails we've been sending are not flirty as such, friendly and fairly personal...I didn't really necessarily intend it to be a date when I suggested it. In fact, I also suggested the last trip (as I'd cancelled twice before with babysitting issues) and I did mention it to my db, and dragged him out too - I don't think that my friend would have mentioned it to my db himself..

I am SO crap at this - my hairdresser said to me this morning that I am just out of practice, but I don't think that I was ever any good at all of this. How I ended up married I don't know..!

Also, although I would like to meet someone nice, I am reluctant to get back out there as marriage ended so badly...I don't know. Does make life more interesting though!!

Thanks for your opinions .

OP posts:

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 08/04/2008 13:09

Missed the last few posts! I have chosen the film (27 dresses) as I want to see it...I am also getting the tickets, as he has just given my his old laptop for free...

Think I will do what you say Gilly, although prob not likely to initiate any moves, more likely that I will be sprinting back to my car out of fear...

OP posts:

chocolatespiders · 08/04/2008 13:11

just enjoy it and try and relax.....

Janos · 08/04/2008 13:46

Oh yes, dating after a long term relationship, what a minefield!

Don't worry about the age difference at all and try to relax and see what happens. He sounds very nice .

MascaraOHara · 08/04/2008 13:55

If he has said he would see that film with you there is either 1 of 2 reasons..

a) it's a date and he wants to spend time with you regardless of you taking him to see a chick flick that he will have no interest in...

or..

b) he's gay.

Either way - have fun!! and if you know he's not gay then.. really do have fun

Youcannotbeserious · 08/04/2008 13:58

MascaraO'hara!!

I agree!!

Iklboo · 08/04/2008 14:01

My DH is 8 years younger than me - 5 is nowt!

Have fun and relax - you'll know soon enough if it's a date

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 08/04/2008 16:50

Thanks all! Especially MOH ...Will chill and (hopefully) enjoy...!

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chocolatespiders · 11/04/2008 11:23

Sosososooooooooooooooooo

How did it go?????? [nosy emotion]

MascaraOHara · 11/04/2008 11:25

yes... well..... c'mon, spill then beans.

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 11/04/2008 17:38

Oh, I don't know - I told you I was crap at this!!

We met for a quick drink first, and chatted pretty easily. Then we went to see the film, which was SO slushy, . When we walked to the cars afterwards (both drove - mistake?!) we chatted again for about half an hour but no snogging...I don't think either of us knew what was expected, so as a result, we ended up saying we'll go to see something next week and running off to our cars..!

He emailed the next morning to say he had a good time, and we have been emailing quite a lot since. We might have been going out tomorrow night, except he has been invited round to my parent's house (they are away) by my brother for a boys night !

We are either just destined to be friends or are both equally crap at this...

OP posts:

gillybean2 · 11/04/2008 21:23

He might just be scared of making the first move in case it's the wrong thing. Or he might have no clue that you're interested like that. Men aren't mind readers even if you are giving off all the right signals (which i'm not sure you are to be honest!), so you have to make it clear you are interested. Next time you arrange something be clear and say 'so that's a date then.' don't make it a question, make it a statement. And flirt, both in person and in your emails. Some of those long lingering looks, and those accidental brushing of hands when you both reach for teh popcorn...

Make the next date not at the cinema so you can spend time chatting rather than sitting there.

And you could always mention in passing to your brother, 'i really like [friend], do you think he's interested in me...?'

What do you have to loose?

MascaraOHara · 11/04/2008 21:40

hang on.. you have a second date lined up and you;ve been emailing constantly.. this is good.

AND he emailed you the next day to say he had a good time..

woman get a grip! he fancies you!!!

you don't have to snog the first time you go out with someone.. let it blossom, don't rush it. there is definitely something there. Go for that second date.. maybe even make a joke like.. "Oh are we on a date?" suggest this is done while playfully digging him in the ribs (or similar)

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 11/04/2008 22:13

Thanks Gilly & MOH.

I think I am in danger of sabotaging (sp?!) this before it has even begun (I think far too much!). Will try to be braver.

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chocolatespiders · 11/04/2008 22:55

I agree with the others.....
Nice man to email and say he had a nice time.... i like him....

think you need to be somewhere a bit more comfortable than cinema and maybe touch him on his arm when you are talking/laughing...

Go for it....... and let us know.... other peoples lives are so much more exciting than mine and i like to hear success after being single as it is 3 years for me to

Original poster

Fluffybubble · 12/04/2008 09:04

cs - Am probably making excuses but 3 years does seem like a long time!! I am getting to the point where I am quite happy on my own, so starting this merry-go-round again is a bit daunting...but then, it would be nice to have someone around again...! Will keep you updated...

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