Exp has made a suggestion:
His gf (who he left us for) has a full time live in nanny for her school-going child ( I know!). He has suggested that our child is also cared for by the nanny in gf's home. (Ex will be moving in there soon)
Reasons he put forward for this are:
- it will save money ( not much tbh)
- it will be more stable for DD
- he will get to see DD more (he already has her twice a week as it is)
- there wont be any rushing on my part to get hime from work like I currently do/less stress etc. (this is true, its a mega strain)
My gut instinct was to say no, so I did. Reasons for this are:
- she is happy with current childminder, although has only been there 2 months, so wouldn't be too upset by change I guess.
-it will be like my DD lives there, and spends evenings with me. I will be like the non-resident parent
-I'm afraid my DD will become very attached to them, being there all day every day, plus 2 nights per week, and so forget me
- he is a controlling person. It feels like they are trying to shove me out of the picture
- Something doesn't feel right about letting ow's nanny look after my child.
There are a few tempting reasons why the arrangent would be good- namely the benefit of having no time restrictions on me for when she needs to be collected, and it would save (some) money.
What do you think? Would it be more stable for my child? I want to do whatever is right for her, regardless of whether I actually like it or not. My reasons have to be valid ifyswim.
Need advice big time.