Scared to put 18 month old into nursery

[Millermillermiller232323]

I’m a single mum and I really am wanting to go back to work, my family are not supportive of this.
I am going to look at a nursery on Friday and will find out more then about the nursery and see if it’s right for my little one.

then I plan to start looking for agencies for work.

I am just worried about putting her into nursery 4 days a week from nothing!

is this selfish to want to work?

I may be slightly worse off but I need to do something and I think my confidence will
improve from working but I don’t want it to impact my little one in a negative way

There is NOTHING wrong with you wanting to work. I was the same with little difference that I am married and my husband has a good income. I was way too bored to be at home and tired of a toddler crawling all over me all day long. My family wasn’t supportive at all. My son is 2y9m now and I still think it was the best decision for my mental health and for my career.

I don’t think you can start 4 days a week straight away, maybe slowly start for a day or two and then progress to 4. But all kids are different, maybe yours will be fine.

Sometimes you have to do whatever will make you a better person. If being at work sometimes, makes you a better person when you are with your child, it very much sounds like the right thing to do! Plus, often little ones love nursery. I know mine did. A well chosen nursery can help them flourish in the same way going back to work might do for you

I spent most of maternity leave (I took a year) SO stressed and worrying about putting my baby in nursery at a year. OMG she loves it. Every morning she’s kicking her little legs to get in. My nursery is just off our local high street and it’s got to the point where we can’t walk past her nursery on the weekend as she’ll think she’s going in and getting exciting 🙈

If I’m honest, part of me still feels bad taking her there (she does four days) but she is completely fine. I also feel soooo much better in myself being back at work. I didn’t realise I was missing part of myself but i was. Good luck you’ve got this xx

It’s not selfish at all. Honestly motherhood is hard enough without judgement from others. I’ve just gone from part time to full time with kids ages 6, 4 and 1, and I can just feel my DM’s disapproval because my youngest is now in nursery full time. But I’m happier and he’s fine enjoys going and is learning social skills. However your little one would also be fine if you decide not to go back to work. Do what works for you 👏👏

Mine started at 9 months. It was good for her - it added some variety into her life. She was too young to care about the other little children, but it felt like no time until she was very happy to go and see the other girls and boys for a bit.

As a single mum, with no other income coming in, how do you survive if you aren't working?

I’m on mat leave (have a 5 month old and 2.5 year old). I don’t even need childcare but I still put my toddler in nursery (she didn’t go before new baby was born) because we had funding.

She LOVES it. Literally will cry when we leave and ask to go back before we have even fully left. She’s learnt so much and comes out with the funniest things now she’s picking little things up from the other children. It’s also really nice to have support from other people too. As a family we are going through a court case and they’ve been really supportive and understanding. I’m really happy we made the decision to send her!

What a crazy question - there is no way of framing this where you are selfish. At one point of being a single mum, I had to pay £10 to work, as the extra days cost me £10 more than I made. However, I am now in a position to send them to uni, because wages go up and benefits go down.

Go to work and ignore family who think they can have a say over how you life your life.

It's good for you to have some space and good for the baby - tbh our experience was the kids kept at home the longest found getting used to school/other children the hardest

Thank you everyone

I have a couple of interviews in the pipeline

viewing a nursery next week

many thanks again!

From April 24 when your child is over 2 you’ll be entitled to 15 hours free childcare so great time to start thinking.
I would recommend doing 2 better of calculations, 1 in work and 1 out to see what works better for you financially. Most people are shocked how much better off they are working full time with children on UC as you are entitled to standard, child, childcare and housing elements.

Plus not only will your child thrive at nursery learning new skills, you will get all the physical and mental health benefits.
Good luck!

Brilliant! Good luck

Go for it! My DS did two mornings a week (with some additional sessions as needed) from six months then went full time at 11 months so I could work. He’s now three and amazes me with the things he can say and do by himself. They do so much to aid development and he’s turned into such a social butterfly, I think it’s been way better for him than if he’d stayed at home with me all day every day. It makes me appreciate the time I have with him more and I feel so fulfilled being able to pursue a career I’m passionate about, and what a good lesson that is to him for the future! As PPs have mentioned, there is funding available both through free hours and UC - I get both and it’s hugely beneficial so I urge you to look into it if you haven’t already. Good luck with your interviews!

And from September 2024 15hrs free from 9months this will be do helpful for working parents

That’s awful ! Neither myself or dh work and my dd goes to nursery - they didn’t even ask ! Do some nurseries check now ?