Do you get lonely as a single mum?

[Ionely]

I'm 24 yrs old my daughter is 20 months. I didn't think I'd ever feel lonely cause I have her but often, especially when she's behaving badly, which is all the time atm, I do feel so lonely.

How do you handle feeling like this?

Yes, I do, though my DC are much older and I always felt lucky I didn't go through the early years alone as they're tough even with a partner - so you have my sympathy. What support have you got around you? Family, friends? Do you get out to toddler groups, activities etc?

Yes. What I really miss is having someone to talk to about DD, the good stuff and the bad. I'm lucky, I have friends, but I don't think it compares to talking to someone who also adores her.

Me too...I am just getting over a divorce and I have realised that I'm going to have to build myself a social life, cos everyone else is busy in their couples/families (not their fault, they hadn't realised I was lonely until I mentioned it to one of them). It's worse when the DC are with their dad.

Maybe book something once or twice a week to start with, so you have something to look forward to, and also take the initiative to ask people to do stuff, at yours or out, with or without the little one as circumstances allow.

Best of luck.

@HelpMeHelpTheKids sorry to hear you feel lonely to.

@HelpMeHelpTheKids pressed send too soon! I work 3 days a week and on the days I'm off we're always out doing something/ friends, family, park, baby groups. It's more of an evening when it's just her and I that I feel it.

@Igmum can definitely relate to that. I feel like I get on my friends nerves telling them stuff & sending pictures of her as if they're my partner lol

Yes I do but feel more exhausted than anything at the minute

@morechaimama sorry about your divorce, my daughters dad only has her on Saturdays during the day so not really long enough for me to miss her but I can imagine that must be hard!

I'm not a very social person tbh so it's not going out that I miss as I never really did that anyway, I think it's the constant tantrums when it's just her and I that get to me!

@purpleme12 lol I hear that sis

Ah sorry @Ionely I misunderstood - I know what you mean though, it's hard when there is only you to sort everything out!

Yes it's not easy. My boy is nearly 9 I miss not having anybody to offload to about my day at work and I miss not having anybody to run my decisions by... regarding my Son. I have friends but it's not the same as a partner.

Yes especially at Christmas x

Yes, I get that completely. I think it’s very isolating at the best of times with a young child, and if you’ve not been separated that long, you might not have got used to it yet.

Things do get better - although I am still lonely some of the time, I often really enjoy my evenings alone now. Also as your DD gets older the shape of things will change too. I found making sure I was treating myself in the evening helped - a film and chocolate in the bath, or something like that. Or failing all else an early night and starting fresh in the morning. Sending sympathy 💐

Place marking … will come back tomorrow

I'm a lone parent due to bereavement. It can be a very lonely and isolating place. Stay strong

I escaped abuse so I was quite content for many years just myself and my daughter. Every once in awhile I would get a flash of anger that I was struggling alone. It wasn't until this year that I finally figured out how my childhood abuse contributed to my desire to be alone or sabotage relationships. As soon as I solved that issue I became very very lonely. I've never felt that before. I tried OLD but I'd rather meet people (men) in person. I haven't figured how to do that yet lol! I usually have a lot of female friends I meet though hobbies. I've found it very enriching to befriend women of all ages, especially older, no matter how much older. I've learned so much and there's usually less drama. I learned to knit and crochet from an older woman friend, a skill I've been able to make money with. I've made younger friends too which has been fun. I always took my daughter along when I went out, usually for casual dinners, potlucks, etc. I also did swaps with other single mothers so if I wanted to go on a date she'd babysit, and if she wanted to go out I'd sit for her. I think it's good to have a mix of friends, not all mothers, not all single, and not all the same age. It creates a good support system, especially if family isn't around.

Yes but I’ve been alone for 7 years unlike most single parents I know who seem to get into new relationships very quickly

Yes ! Especially now DS is getting older and no longer wants to spend all of his time with mum or snuggle up together all the time. I'm a long term single parent and for the past few years I'd made my peace with it. But recently I was in a relationship that didn't work out. So I'm feeling extra lonely atm especially as I struggle with change and relationship breakdowns

Yes, solo parenting is often pretty lonely. I lost my husband 5 years ago and the last of the grandparents this year. It's really hit me lately - when my 9yo started a new school and there was no-one to share it with. And now, at Christmas, visiting my depressive single brother and then my depressive single sister-in-law, neither of whom ever visit me or offer to babysit when I'm with them. Brother's gone out to the pub every night this week, doesn't even eat the dinners I cook for us all. Vent over - tomorrow is another day!

No I don't really feel lonely, but I'm a lot older than you and have got to the point where I relish time on my own (eg when DC go to bed) especially after enjoyable, but a lot of socialising like Xmas.
I know what you mean about sharing with others though about your little one. I did that via Facebook and didn't really mind if my limited profile friends commented or not, just getting the thoughts/pictures out was cathartic enough.

I'm very lonely, I've 2 small kids. Was with my dh for 20 yrs. I'm only 38 but I've no friends or social activities outside of the kids when they're with their dad eow and I still haven't got used to us being broke up a yr later and he's moved on and had a baby so it angers me that I'm so lonely and struggling with it all

I'm 46. I've been separated for 2 years. My DC don't see thier dad very often even though he lives locally.

My DC are 8 and 9. I've found it very had to make friends here. I work term time and so far only agency work so it was hard to make friends at work only being a temp.

I get on well with my dc's friends parents but they only go out in couples and told this to me like it was perfectly normal and acceptable.

I'm starting to feel ready to date again although I've no idea how. A single Friend in the same boat recently met someone and now has no time for a social life. I wondered how she does it and she said 'you'll find a way, you'll make it work and it'll be worth it' I'm not convinced though.

I have moments when I'm fine with it but at the moment I totally hear you OP

Can you join groups or do some hobbies? I’m slightly younger but kids don’t go to their dads so with me 24/7 people often tell me to join group or hobbies but not possible. If he has them every other weekend why not try a meet up group?

I was going to suggest the same.... would you fancy taking up any new hobbies ? I was in this position and found it (and still do sometimes) very lonely, especially when your other half has moved on. I started going to the gym just to get me out and seeing other people, yoga classes sometimes or would you consider a couple of hours volunteering when the kids are away ?

I’m sorry you’re lonely and any good friend wouldn’t care. I’d be happy to receive baby pics from a friend in that situation and would understand!