LOST..CONFUSED.ALONE.SCARED.....

[tjgx]

hi please im looking for any advice moral support and friends..im pregnant with my 3rd bby...ive 2 other girls ages 12 n 13..n feel so isolated and alone...the father 2 b is not the father of my 2 girls...he says he wants nothing to do with this baby..n that i should get rid...there is no way im doing this..my family have found out the guy is mixed race n say if i keep this bby im on my own they want nowt 2 do with me due 2 the colour..which i think is so wrong...they say im cruel to bring this baby here..im 32 yrs old yet feel like im 16 asking for permission..this has put such a strain on family..n ifeel ive been outcasted..2 top it off,,,the father 2b mum is my neighbour..she was my friend...n didnt have a problem with me being with her son...but now she is steering well away from me..i feel ive no1..im 3months now..im scared and ive no support ..please i really need some advice on how 2 handle this...n what dod i do when ihave this baby n i have 2 pass his mums door..they do durgs in her house and i dont want my baby around that plz plz help me many thanx tjx

HI ALL..;) HOPE UR ALL WELL N HAD A LOVELY DAY 2DAYXXXXXXXXXXX..well its been sometimes since i was here...comp totally broke...just got it bk now..so 2 all who emailed me plz plz email me bk as ive lost all addys due 2 this silly comp xxx....well things r very quiet at the moment here....no trouble!!!...went 2 hosp 20 wk scan told me baby very big n will prob b born early...so theres a good chance i will still be here when its born...(sighs) but im prepared mentally now 4 wateva the lil gits come at me with..me n the mum totally ignore each other now...as 4 him well im not going 2 go there...not seen him since the abuse..n im hopeing it atays that way...i no 1 day im goign 2 bump in2 him wether im still pregnant or with baby...bt my mouth ready 4 any of it!! but i will keep u all posted on it all...my email addy is [email protected] take care all n much love sent ur way xxx

Hi all.....where u all gone!! hope ur all well....xxxxxxxxx im fine...had 2 have another scan they say baby very big...lol........so ive 2 c dr 2moro n they goin 2 decide wat 2do...the xchange will take place in july!!yippeee cant wait...so thats all sorted.....alot of stress taken off me now..as 4 the the axxehole....well things havent changed at all...he has seen me in the street n i just get blanked....he says he has nothing 2 say 2 me until bby here...n that he still wants dna....im a bit torn as 2 wat 2 do...my family say tell him 2 ....off n not 2 give him anything...father 2b says if i refuse test well then it must b because bby isnt his...so wat do i do!!!he hasnt supported me 1 bit my family n myself have bought everything 4 this bby...he hasnt come up with anything....n yet wen i first ever told him i was pregnant he said he didnt want 2 no n that i should abort!! so help wat reaction do i give him if he comes knockin when i have bby...birth is 10 wks away xxxx

hiya mate,

in exactly the same position as you. I have no idea how i will react either, however i do know that after holding myself with dignity and pride through the whole of my pregnancy even ignoring all the lonelyness and how humiliated i felt with what he rejected us both, i am determined to continue to do so after my boys birth and you should do the same. After doing that to you he should show you a massive level of respect if he wants to see the baby and he owes that child one hell of an apology for the start he couldnt be bothered to try and give it. Do you want to see him? Do you want him to take your baby on. I must admit part of me finds it tought to believe that my x is going to let me bring up his son without even acknowledging him. I dont want to believe he would do that to an innocent baby - if he does then i almost feel like i have to ask myself how my judgement of him was so bad? Do you know what i mean?

on second thoughts - just read through your threads again - tell him to fXXXk right off. You have done all the hard work yourself, but just for your own amusement send him an email telling him you need to know how he would like his dna test - through the csa or privately. Both are as effective but one is more expensive and you wouldnt want him to have to pay. Call his bluff- tell the rat you arent just willing to take the test you are going to call on your legal right to demand it, and obviously when the results come back as proving he is the father you will expect 50% reimbursement for the cost of his babies stuff. Because a man like him wouldnt want his own flesh and blood to be deprived and embarrased when everyone knows its his would he?? Lets see what the axxxxle says to that!!!!

hi tjgx was wondering where you had got to! glad your ok

prettyfly, i was very dignified when pg too. it was surprisingly easy. didnt last though...now i just want to smack the asshole!! i really admire anyone who can carry on being like that!

tgjx how ya getting on today?

oh i so know that when i see my little boy and he is real and in my arms, i am going to find it so hard to maintain dignity. Determined to be better then that though-and better then him!!. I want to smack the twxt now i just try not to. The last time i saw him he was ploughing money into a fruit machine (too skint to pay for his son though). oh the restraint it took not to place a pool cue sideways up his smiley face.

hi nightowl where u been hiding!! hiya pretty...thanx 4 ur input...made me really laugh...ur so rite...he wouldnt b able 2 afford the dna anyway...he dont work...he just comes round n ponces of his mum...at first she said she was going 2 pay 4 it..now she says she isnt...all they do is smoke weed all day...n sniff coke up their noses...dont ask where he gets money 4 that habit...hope bby comes out just looking like him,then i send foto n say theres ur frigging dna..bumwipe.....my family was hard on me at first due 2 bby being mixed race...bt thwey r soooo ok with it now....n r supporting me 100%...will b so much better when i leave as i wont b anywhere near them....told the mother not 2 come knocking when i have it if she has no intention of being a nan..as my child doesnt need ppl drifting in n out when it suits them...n ive now said..what ever..bumwipe wants he has 2 come ask 4 it himself...cause until then he aint getting diddley squat from em..or this bby...i hope his willy falls off...

its alright mate - if he keeps up the drug habit he wont be able to use it anyway - far more frustrating then it actually fallin off!!! Do you really want financially dependent drug takers with a seriously lax attitude to work or responsibility having ANY influence or input on your baby. You sound like a lovely person and someone who will be a good mum. I so hope the answer to that is no. Sometimes they just aint worth the aggro mate. THEY are not good enough - either for you or for the baby - therefore if they wish to be around they need to shape up!!!! Big time!!!!!(failing that i will lend you my spare pool cue )

I am glad i made you laugh mate. Sometimes when we are stuck in the middle of this it is hard to smile but we mnetters have to stick together

Glad to hear also that your family have accepted the baby now and are there for you!!! Babies are gifts (albeit noisy, slightly smelly demanding ones) and nothing should stand in the way of clebrating that fact!!!!

Hi I just came across your thread, am also preg with mixed race baby and on my own, expartner turned out to be married - the pig, I should have know better tho as he is a fraudster. Seems there's plenty of us so I reckon that says we r fighters and dont really need the dodgy fellas and I feel by removing these guys from our lives or at least by moving on we will probably be even better mums. That said am scared about being alone the rest of my life, maybe irrational but keep thinking am 25, I will have 2 kids by 2 different dads, one child black and one white will any other man ever really want to be with me? Anyway, understand how u guys feel. xxx

HI ALL...hope ur all well...its been awhile,all is ok with me.i havent had any trouble!! so far so good!! 3 weeks left till baby here...n ive just been told its a BOY YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEE..)))))) IM VERY HAPPY.....XXXXXX...he still want dna..when bby here...but he has not hassled me....the mum trys 2 talk...but i just grunt!!when baby here,thats when my mouth will go if they attempt anything...ive bit my tongue all along but not 4 much longer!!i b ready 4 them...the move 2 basingstoke is now underway...n will b gone middle of july THANK GOD X.....so alls going well...im just looking 4ward 2 my son being born..n making a new life 4 myself n my kids...apart from being so scared of the labour..big chicken i am!!,im getting there xxx

hey tgx - congrats to ya babe - i had my baby boy four weeks ago and its tough at times but worth every minute darlin so you just stick to ya guns!!!! Labour aint that bad (honest=says she who had every drug known to man)and you will be fine! just keep smiling!

Hi pretty ....CONGRATULATIONS XXXXXXXXX.....hope its all goin well 4 u x....n ds is doing good.....cant wait 4 mine 2 b here...its the waiting game now as im 37 weeks...been getting alot of braxton hicks which r drivin me nuts..ahhhhhhhhhh........but no signs of him comin yet....as 4 the dna, he aint getting it!!ive nowt 2 prove i no who the father is n thats all that matters...my baby dont need him..

you go girl. I couldnt agree wit you more. This last stge drove me mad but i promise you it is all worth it in the end. Do you have plenty of support in place for afterwards. Just a tip when yoour little one is here organisation is the key. Its really tough but try and get yourself into a basic routine for feeding and prepping up his stuff and get yourslef and little one up and about as sooon as you can. Take any offers of help as well and dont be afraid to say if you are finding it a bit tough. Its not easy and you dont need to be afraid of not being perfect. Good luck babe!!!!x

Hi all its been awile..just 2 let u all no i had a baby boy born on fathers day weighed in at 7pnd..exact...hes lovely..and im doing really well x

Congratulations on the birth of your little man,hope you didnt have to much fall out from a**holes and his family.
Enjoy!!!

Congratulations on the birth of your little man,hope you didnt have to much fall out from a**holes and his family.
Enjoy!!!

you sound happy I am so pleased for you keep in touch!!

congrats darlin - i was wondering about you - hope you are enjoying each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!