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Original poster

Crappy date last night :( It wasn't me was it???

84 replies

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 11:39

with NG - as he now is (after a month, 4 days and copious phone conversations) anyhoo,

went out with him last night - and just to make sure it isn't me being stupid....

we arrived, and he was a bit offish (apparently tired)anyhow, went to one bar, which annoyed him due to the music, another one was wrong because the people in there were really loud and noisey, then there was the third, which was quite but ok.

he said apparently my top was 'too skin tight' and no one likes bumps wasn't aiming it am apparently talking in general about himself! then he was asking about my money and how I manage/can afford to go out & go shopping etc. how exactly is it anything to do with him at this stage? anyhoo, then he says he's too old for me (that old chestnut!) at 38, and 26, is just a 'young adult' and i'm bearly an adult WTF???

then he said i'm sorry i'm tired, followed by a big hug & I really want to see you again. it just really annoyed me that cos he was 'in a mood to say as he liked' he did, and when I said I found his comment about me being a young adult offensive and quite frankly rude he said 'it was meant to be'

so it wasn't me was it - he was an edgit?

OP posts:
lou33 · 09/03/2008 22:19

generally i always ask them to come down to meet me, seeing as i have the kids, and for first time date i like to be somewhere i know

i have , i think once only, not done this, but it was fine

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 22:22

first 2 dates he came here, the second 2 I went up there, but yes usually I go somewhere around here that I know - have set up a 'get out' with my aunty, and always leave the details I know about the man/mob no/times/pub etc etc with either her or mum. so fairly safe.

OP posts:
nella73 · 09/03/2008 22:24

nothing better than a bit of chocolate, eh? bless ya!!!!

lou33 · 09/03/2008 22:33

oh yes i forgot it wasnt a first time

sorry i am tired

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 22:44

lol at:
'my flowers could do with a change i think' and
'mars planets'

Sigh, what we have to go through to meet a man. I have given up on distance relationships. Or rather, when I eventually start dating again, I will not bother with anyone who is not local. It's not worth the hassle of travelling (unless they're ready to book the reception venue and choose the colour scheme. )

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 22:56

missed that - they buy you flowers? i'm yet to have a man buy me flowers on a date - obv picking the wrong ones.

OP posts:
skyatnight · 09/03/2008 23:01

No sorry dtm, I was going back in the thread to Lou's bridal outfit.

It would be nice to get flowers. Perhaps you could specify it in your dating profile: 'Please bring chocs and flowers with you.'

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 23:19

na would be seen as fussy then! lol.

OP posts:
madamez · 09/03/2008 23:22

He's a knob. Don't bother with him any more. Honest, he's a complete hogwhimpering fartsniffing fuckwit. He doesn't like the music, he doesnlt like the way you'rre dressed, he puts you down... Realy, RUUUUUUUN!

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:22

i have a t shirt that syas

"good man wanted: able to cook, clean, sew, cut grass and clean fish

must have own sports car and plane

please send pictures of car and plane"

i should dig it out, i havent seen it for a while

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 23:25

Now that's what you should wear to your first dates, Lou.

dtm. You are fussy, or you should be. Chocs and flowers because you are worth it, L'oreal-stylee. It might weed out the stingey ones.

madamez · 09/03/2008 23:25

Sky, you agree a relationship is going to be monogamous after you have discussed it with the other person. It's not a default position. Many people don't want to have sex (ie more than snogging/topsies/anal/blowjobs) without agreeing to a monogamous relationship first. this is fine as long as you say so before the particular sexual activity rather than getting cross because the other person doesn't instantly become monogamous with you.

madamez · 09/03/2008 23:27

If a man turned up with flowers on a First date I would jump out of the window and run away. Because I would be thinking 'mad stalker who thinks it's OK to be a mad stalker because he's 'romantic'...@
Is that just me?

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:30

not just you

i would find it worrying

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:32

i'm really wondering where it has gone now

i'll be on a mission in the morning

Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 23:36

totally agree mad on that point yes. (infact I don't want to have any form of sexual contact other than kissing with any one who was doing that with someone else.)

lou - agree you should wear that top out.

OP posts:
Original poster
davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 23:37

I prob wouldn't to be fair - althou depends on the flowers as to if i'd think it or not.)

OP posts:
lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:37

i have done lots, i just dont know where it has disappeared to

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:38

actually i just remembered, i was bought flowers on the first date once, and he was a nob

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 23:49

Yes, I know Madamez. That is how it has worked with me in the past.

I have found, though, that I tend to be the one wanting to extend the date-various-people stage, because I am having fun with the chase, getting to know different people. But a guy, or more than one, would want me to say that I was 'going out' with him because he wanted sex and wanted to know that I wasn't also with someone else.

I wouldn't sleep with more than one person at a time. I am not a tease and I do enjoy sex but I like to take things slowly, to let the tension build up. Sex is not the be all and end all for me. Some men seem to want to rush things to get to the sex part and, merely as a side effect, that means that they expect you to commit to see them only. I've had quite a few men act jealous and offended that I am still, in theory, playing the field but the flip side is that they may have no qualms about dumping you or cheating on you later.

I've always gone along with the 'Me Tarzan, you Jane' behaviour in the past, thinking that they must really like me, but it doesn't mean that at all and I'm not sure I would do the same in the future. Mind you, I may be past my prime now, so I might be grateful or lucky to face this dilemma again.

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:52

enough of this "past my prime" rubbish!

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 23:53

I agree about the flowers. Every man who has bought me flowers has made a big deal out of it and expected me to be impressed. It takes the charm out of it. Flowers on a first date could be cheesey or smarmy.

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:55

yes, it makes me feel uncomfortable, flowers (to me) are for when you actually know and care about someone

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 23:58

I knew you would bite at that, Lou.
Of course it is false modesty on my part. I am SO in my prime. Any man would be lucky to have me to wash his socks (that's not a euphemism, Madamez!). I am so worth it!

lou33 · 09/03/2008 23:59

that is much better