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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Crappy date last night :( It wasn't me was it???

84 replies

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 11:39

with NG - as he now is (after a month, 4 days and copious phone conversations) anyhoo,

went out with him last night - and just to make sure it isn't me being stupid....

we arrived, and he was a bit offish (apparently tired)anyhow, went to one bar, which annoyed him due to the music, another one was wrong because the people in there were really loud and noisey, then there was the third, which was quite but ok.

he said apparently my top was 'too skin tight' and no one likes bumps wasn't aiming it am apparently talking in general about himself! then he was asking about my money and how I manage/can afford to go out & go shopping etc. how exactly is it anything to do with him at this stage? anyhoo, then he says he's too old for me (that old chestnut!) at 38, and 26, is just a 'young adult' and i'm bearly an adult WTF???

then he said i'm sorry i'm tired, followed by a big hug & I really want to see you again. it just really annoyed me that cos he was 'in a mood to say as he liked' he did, and when I said I found his comment about me being a young adult offensive and quite frankly rude he said 'it was meant to be'

so it wasn't me was it - he was an edgit?

OP posts:

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 19:43

yes new guy. he's just sent me a message saying you don't like me or trust me. so I've told him very finally now, that I do like him and my trust is earnt not given away willy nilly, and the reason I won't see him again is not because I don't like him. he did the whole bit and crying eyes, but I said there's nothing more left to say, please don't contact me again. so we shall see now if he actually listens to what i'm saying.

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Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 19:44

(he's all deleted now on everything so fingers crossed)

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WiiMii · 09/03/2008 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PillockOfTheCommunity · 09/03/2008 19:44

sounds like an ex of mine!
it is a minefield this dating lark, I can be getting on great with someone, then suddenly it completely turns around and they show their true colours. keep on in there, I'm hoping it gets easier!

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 19:48

I am pil don't worry - on wards and up wards, however this week i've also been talking to a another man (I know shouldn't have been but I guess I was keepin my options open as my cousin calls it??!) but the other chappy I was talking to apparently has a girl he's v v interested (only told me today after a month of talking!) in but it's a bit complicated with her so ho hum! i'm gonna be a nun I think! lol. must be easier!

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lou33 · 09/03/2008 19:58

why shouldnt you be talking to other guys?

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 20:07

well I know he wasn't, and I felt a bit bad after a month - but I figure it might have gone all wrong anyhow and didn't want to count my chickens as it were.

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PillockOfTheCommunity · 09/03/2008 20:08

don't feel bad for talking to other men!

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 20:10

(also don't want to appear a bit fee n easy - althou it's not like I meet them all or have any sexual contact with any of them, a coffee in starbucks or a drink in weatherspoons if I particually like them lol. (but there's only been 4 I think. that i've had dates with incl this bloke.

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gillybean2 · 09/03/2008 20:14

NG is New Guy, but could also be Net Geek in this case maybe?! Usually that has a H in front of it though.. ;)

Keep looking, so many frogs to kiss before we find that prince. Course I didn't find mine yet either

lou33 · 09/03/2008 20:37

would you stop talking to all men if you were in a relationship?

also you only had his word for it, that he wasnt talking to anyone else

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 20:53

But I've always wondered about this one, Lou. At what point in a relationship are you supposed to be exclusive? The Americans seem to draw a definite distinction between 'dating' (where you can be seeing as many people as you like) and 'going steady' or dating 'exclusively' which is when you are properly in a relationship with someone and not seeing anyone else. We don't seem to have that distinction in this country and men get quite territorial.

When you were at school, for example, everyone knew if you were going out with someone but, in the world of internet dating, you have no idea. You just assume that everyone is going on multiple dates and wait for that weird conversation where one of you declares their interest and starts getting possessive. As you say, a lot of people lie anyway.

lou33 · 09/03/2008 21:12

i tend to just go along the lines of " i think we need to clarify what we want from each other, and if you are cool with me seeing other guys until we know if this is going anywhere"

tho obviously not on a first date!

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 21:20

Oh, on a first date, I usually ask them if they want a big wedding or just a few close friends and immediate family. It's good to discuss these things early as it can save you from disappointment later on.

lou33 · 09/03/2008 21:31

i tend to avoid that by turning up in a wedding dress

skyatnight · 09/03/2008 21:46

That's right, put your cards on the table pronto. No point in wasting time.

Which style do you go for? 'Bride of Dracula', 'Runaway Bride', Goth(ic) bride a la 'Miss Haversham' or 'rent-a-bride' in a nylon meringue from Matalan?

lou33 · 09/03/2008 21:49

depends on my mood at the time, tho i always have a slightly deranged look in my eye

my flowers could do with a change i think

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 21:52

lol@ u lot - tbh I'm normally straight from the start but wait for him to ask me then I ask - so he'll say are you having much luck/talking to anyone/dating etc, and i'll answer honestly then ask him - so far to be fair the man has always said who/what's been going on (apart form blokey who's taken a month to tell me!!! but anyhow, that's just online mates now for def).

but yes i've often wondered about that when you say is it just you and me then? still waiting to get that far down the line! lol.

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Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 21:52

(when I say start I don't mean first talking etc but after talking a few times)

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nella73 · 09/03/2008 21:54

good girl, you don't deserve a freak like that, a first date should be full of compliments and flirting, not insults. you'll find someone very soon who'll make you feel very special, just one thing...don't look too hard, mr right will turn up on his own, trust me. the more you look, the more you'll have experiences like this. good luck!!!
nella

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 22:01

oh no wasn't a first date (should point that out! lol) 4th 'date' have done the whole casual meet thing inbetween as well, loads of talking (an hour & a half every day at least) plus all the rest of it. but even still thou...

he also said to me actually had forgotten about till I had his last email. he said...

'how do you know your marriage is over - it might just be a rough patch' so when I said would I be sat here if it was a rough patch - he said er prob yes . fucker. (this is prob why the 2 guys next to me looked over) cos I then said to him 'my marriage is over, dead, this is not a rough patch'

my only regret about last night it the fact that I stayed in the pub for the extra 20 mins, had I of left at 10pm when I first said about it and walked out I would have caught the 10.19 train home, as it was I got to the stn at 11.30 and had to wait (alone I might add) in the pissing rain and cold till 11.20 for the next train. I was so no impressed. should have left earlier.

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nella73 · 09/03/2008 22:07

sounds like a wanker, he didn't even take you home, or at least to the stn?!!!
a real gentleman!!!
where abouts do you live? i mean is it dangerous city, nowadays you can't walk around safe.

lou33 · 09/03/2008 22:08

i always drive, even if it means not drinking

Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 22:09

was in winchester - he dropped me off in his taxi on the way home (was falling asleep on the way) he asked if i'd be ok but by that time I was so pissed off I just said i'd be fine - and sat next to the guards office (who thankfully was in at the time) eating my mars planets. He rang after about 10 mins wanting to talk but I said i'd talk later, (as in today) and hung up.

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Original poster

davidtennantsmistress · 09/03/2008 22:12

tbh the train is prob cheaper than the petrol up there.

next time i'll drive as i'm not going to see anyone that far away.

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