How many hours a week do you work as a single parent?

[Howmanyistoomany]

I’m currently working full time which I’m managing with lots of help from grandparents for drop offs, plus after school and breakfast clubs. Her dad gets her 2 nights a week and takes her one morning.

it just feels so tight all the time! And grandparents have to get up so early to get to my house so I can go to work that my guilt is huuuuge.

I’m lucky in that I could go to half my hours (2.5 days instead of 5) and still manage financially albeit with no real wriggle room. But then my job would be harder because I’d only be in half the time!

I really don’t know what to do, so I thought I’d ask what others do and how they manage for ideas and solidarity! How many hours do you work?

16 hours a week working and 8 hours a week college, then studying 4 nights per week once they're asleep.

I don't have any family support at all, the only childcare I get is what I pay for 😢 it's hard.

If you can afford it, I'd drop hours

@brokenbitbybit wow, you’re doing well! What are you studying? it must be so hard without any help. My parents will literally do anything, but I feel so guilty as they’re getting older. Holidays are also tricky - next summer her dad will only have her for one week, and I’m only allowed 2 weeks off - it’s a lot to ask my parents to have her every day for the rest of the holidays.

I do 23 hours a week over 4 days. I do 3 shorter days within school hours and one longer day where my mum has my son after school for a couple of hours.

DS has ADHD and hates school so wrap around care at school is not really an option without causing huge fallout at home. Elderly parents, so I don't want to put more on them.

It worked fine while 100% home based, but I'm now expected to be in the office 40% of the time which makes everything much tighter with commute times factored in.

If you can afford to, I'd say drop your hours. But also be careful then of not doing more than the hours you're paid for!

I work 9-3 mon-fri so 30 hours, all my family work so can’t help on a regular basis, me and my brother help each other out occasionally but mine are older so they also go to kids club 3/4 weeks of the summer holidays, 1 week at Easter and 1 week leading up to Christmas, feb occasionally go to club sometimes split between family and me.
Their Dad takes them away once a year in the summer and I take them away over Oct half term every year so no childcare needed then.
I save my annual leave and try to only use it when they’re off, if I’m stuck my boss lets me bring them in but I try not to as they get bored.

Forgot to mention in my post, I also work term time only. Which solves the holiday childcare issue. Is that, or some kind of part year working or unpaid annual leave an option for you? Or parental leave...I believer every parent is entitled to a certain amount.

27 hours over 3 days by using school clubs for childcare and my family.

I do 3 days a week term time only, single mum of 4 no help apart from my dad does pick-up 1 day a week. Me and a friend at the school share drop offs/pick ups to help each other out.

I am probably going to increase to 4 full days in the new year if I can. I still feel I need one day to organise myself and get on top of the house/ have a day to myself as the kids only see their dad one day every other week so I don't have much me time.

I would love to work full time and I recon I could probably juggle after school care but I have no idea how I would manage the holidays at all.

Unfortunately it’s such a small team that there’s no flexibility with unpaid leave or term time only. I can either do full time or part time and that’s it. I’m looking for another job…

I work FT (with no family support too). Life is relentless. It would also be easier if I didn’t have to deal with a hostile (nearly) exH who seems to go out of his way to make my life harder and who tries to control me.

I think I’d suggest sticking out the FT if you can and using the money to get in a cleaner/additional childcare.

It does get easier as they get older. I’ve got a teenager and a toddler - and it is logistically easier just for the teenager. He gets himself to and from school and doesn’t need me to be home when he arrives. He can help with normal household stuff too. If it were just me and a teenager, it would feel like life was becoming less relentless. But nursery runs and a small person who needs so much, hands on care is a different kettle of fish.

The pension contributions etc do matter in the long term. And general financial stability/career development. It won’t always feel like such a hamster wheel of a life. It does get better.

Could you do fewer days in holidays rather than not working at all? I used to do 4 days term time and 3 in holidays. Argument being it was a bit quieter then. Contract was .75 of ft hours.

37, but term time only and I only work past school pick up time once a week (and right next to school).
His dad only does weekends due to distance.

@IncomingTraffic Hamster wheel is exactly how it feels! She’s yr 5. She’s at an independent school which is a bit of a trek so I don’t think she can travel independently until probably year 8. I’ve been wondering about pensions etc, I’m not great at financial planning, I get too bogged down in the here and now.

I’ve thought about a cleaner but I don’t think that would work easily because there’s pets and the house is unfinished which makes it harder to clean.

37.5 hours, no family support, grandparents and dc father all dead, had an excellent chilminder. Dc now secondary age so much easier, was tough but now as I'm older I'm glad I continued FT (0.8 would have been good though)

if there is no flexibility in your workplace, could you look for another job in a larger employer with more family friendly policies?

I know that’s another thing to do - but it might make things easier in the medium term.

Just to make you feel a bit better it is only for a couple more years. By end of year 6 beginning of yr7 my DD was merrily on her own after school lots of days.
If you can afford a cleaner do it. If they can do 2 hours a week that is 2 precious hours you don't have to do. I got one as I earn more than the cleaner per hour so it made financial sense as could work more and get a job done.

Get a cleaner anyway! there is always a reason not to. Loads of people have pets and houses are never finished.

It will get so much easier once she’s in secondary school. And as she gets old enough to be using public transport on her own and having a bit of independence.

it can be hard to remember that there is a sky when you’re deep in things. But it’s there and it does get better.

I do two fixed days 9-5 and the kids are in after school childcare those days, and in holiday club on those days in holidays unless I take leave.

On top of that I do some overtime and contracting work which I fit into school time on the non working days. I don’t do this during holidays.

The contracting stuff isn’t as regular as I’d like, but it’s all complete income because I don’t have any childcare costs to deduct so it’s more profit if that makes sense.

18hrs over 3 days, it's not changed since they were babies. My younger teen is quite poorly with MH issues and as much as I'd love to work more I need to look after her. No family or ex to help. It never gets easier tbh!

I worked full time with no family support when DD was little. It was hard but it gets easier and easier as she gets older.

I couldn't find a job that would let me do shorter hours - besides I needed the FT wage. I'd stick it out if you can as its most likely the only way you'll progress in your career.

Full time 9-5, 5 days a week, 2 kids and no family support. I am lucky that my employer is really flexible around pick ups and drop offs, and lets me work from home half the time. It's hard but it's what I've had to do to get a mortgage on my own, and the pension contributions will be essential for a retirement on a single income.

I've adjusted my hours as DD has gotten older Term time only and my parents living 11 doors away made a whole world of difference when she was younger.

DD aged 3: 20 hours over 4 days termtime only, GPS did mornings and dropped her off at nursery where I picked her up
DD aged 6: 30 hours over 5 days termtime only, dropped DD off at GPS they did the school run.
DD aged 12: 37 hours, WFH I drop DD off at school and have flexibility to run her about to friends etc in the holidays if she wants

Full time plus on call 1 in 11. I also had no family support and all childcare was paid for. It was the hardest thing, but it's paid off. I'm now an exec director and we are flying now the kids are older. I got a cleaner and outsourced everything I could. It can be done. But I know exactly how hard it is. Good luck x

Should add that the kids don't have any contact with their father or any maintenance.

I work full time in a crazy stressful job where I often have to work insane hours. It's definitely not ideal, but I'm paying for private school, mortgage and my daughter's horse riding hobby and my ex doesn't pay a penny, so everything is on me. I'm counting the days until she finishes her GCSEs and goes to a state Sixth Form 😜

I worked 30 when my children needed childcare, so I could use breakfast clubs and school clubs. High school age and I now work 50 but at home, so I'm there for their dramas and snacks 🙃 but they don't "need" me.