How many hours a week do you work as a single parent?

[Howmanyistoomany]

I’m currently working full time which I’m managing with lots of help from grandparents for drop offs, plus after school and breakfast clubs. Her dad gets her 2 nights a week and takes her one morning.

it just feels so tight all the time! And grandparents have to get up so early to get to my house so I can go to work that my guilt is huuuuge.

I’m lucky in that I could go to half my hours (2.5 days instead of 5) and still manage financially albeit with no real wriggle room. But then my job would be harder because I’d only be in half the time!

I really don’t know what to do, so I thought I’d ask what others do and how they manage for ideas and solidarity! How many hours do you work?

Definitely get a cleaner! I've worked FT throughout with zero family help. Fortunately I've got a decent professional job which can be flexible but basically all of my money has gone on childcare. It's much easier now but there were tough times

I do 32 over 4 days but my Ds is older..

so I start late enough to drop at school but work later.. the extra day I get jobs / cleaning / shopping / haircuts etc done ..

No, unfortunately I’m customer facing so I can’t do that

That last post was @AuntieJoyce sorry!

I do 11-3 Mon-Thur but I work remotely. Fridays is cleaning day for me and food shopping. That way I can relax a little at the weekend.. not that I do! Always something needs doing in this house. I have two DC both with autism. During school holidays I shift my hours to 8-11 so we get out and do stuff. I negotiated with my boss my working days/hours and it's going well. To be fair I've worked for the same company for over 10 years, my children are growing so it's getting easier and my flexibility is increasing a little and I visit the office in London once a month. Being a single working parent is tough!! I'd suggest going part time and seeing how that works out, don't be afraid to mix things up, if it doesn't work out something else will. Far too often we work too hard and our mental state suffers, that's no good for your or your child.

I work a 40 hour week plus additional time spent commuting/travelling for work. I have toddler twins and an older. Dad doesn't have any overnights and sees them for an hour or so every couple of weeks

I really do take my hat off to those working even part time, but there is a lot of pressure about work, and I just don't know how people do it. Because some will say they work part time and forget how much assistance is still needed, I mean not only with benefits but also childcare.
Ok I get it some do full time, but I just can't see how they live even though i know people will say it's a struggle, but they just about manage.
How with childcare fees too, okay they say you get 'up to 85% back' on UC but i've heard various stories about that.
I could never imagine having to leave my child in after school care until 6pm, which if I listened to the DWP that's what they would have me doing.
But I have had problems and my son too and he would be in an absolute state to be collected at that time, then to get home gone 6pm and have to feed him get him bathed, and any homework and get him to bed. And then what lol I've still got to do all my things too and get laundry done.
And on top of that you get many saying a child that age should be in bed by 7.30pm 😆 ridiculous!

I've realised as time has gone on that as I have spoken to more mothers, they left out how much help they get, so therefore they are not working full time and doing it all, because someone collects the kids at end of school time. Also that they have a council rent, makes a huge difference.

I have yet to come across a single mother in London paying for a for example two bed flat and everything else on her own who is not on benefits despite being in work 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also adding in to what I said, re: holidays bearing in mind how many there are in a year at school, plus training days, early finish etc.
How does one person cover that on their own, because there is no job that will let you take off that amount of time.
There are free spaces 4 hours a day for those on UC not earning. But for those earning it then becomes £20-30 a day! That's not a full day, for a full day elsewhere it's even more.

45 hours. I work 33 hours 3 days a week, includes one weekend day(12 hour days minus breaks. Their Dad has them outside school hours. Two six hour days 9- 3 so I can do after school activities. On my weekday off I blitz the house, meal prep etc.

I do 37.5 hours a week, nhs

37.5 hours. No help at all from their dad or other family. Paid for breakfast club, and after school club - 5 days a week through Primary.
Secondary is much easier. But it's been brutal financially and emotionally.

I've come out the other side.
Aged 60 I'm finally child free as my 20 something sons moved out permanently this year.

I worked full time 37.5 hours a week.

20 years ago their dad had them alternate weekends and paid child support. A few years later he was no longer paying any money and rarely had them over.

I was fortunate to earn enough to pay for nursery and then after school club and holiday club. I didn't have family support

I live in Scotland so housing costs not as bad as down south and we'd split the equity from selling our house.

I did get child benefit and child tax credit, but managed without any other benefits.

It was hard at times, but got easier when they reached high school age and didn't need childcare. I am exhausted now and counting down to retirement at 65 (had a personal pension so can take that before government pension kicks in)

27.5 hours over 4 days, one day shorter hours to facilitate school run.
My parents pick up the other three days. Slightly less needed as kids get older but I couldn't have managed without them up til now.
ExH does zero school runs and zero week day care.

My son is an adult now but I worked full time while raising him, I don’t have family around and his dad was not involved, as others here, the only help with childcare was what I could pay for (basically breakfast and after school clubs paid with the help of tax credits). It was difficult, it felt tight and I think I spent most of his childhood living in survival mode BUT I do not regret insisting in working full time for the following reasons:

1. The time I had with DS was special and I had the spare money to do the nice things

2. I had fewer worries as I could cope with unexpected expenses (broken car, expensive house maintenance that couldn’t wait like water ingress or boiler replacement (when you live hand to mouth a £500 car repair can send you and the family into a financial crisis for years to come)

3. The few times I ended up working part time, I made the best of my free time to start with BUT after a few weeks I started running out of things to do, friends to see and I didn’t enjoy doing much stuff on my own when I had to keep a close eye on the pennies.

4. The more you have to do, the more you manage. If you look around you you will notice that most people that do not work devote very little time or none to accomplish significant things, or spread the stuff they need to do in far more time that you would devote to, for example, if you are going on holidays and you work full time, you might prepare by stoping quickly at the shops to get what you need and throw everything in the bag the day before you travel, someone who doesn’t work may spend a full week and still be doing the packing the night before.

5. When you work part time you are much more likely to be passed for promotions than people working full time.

6. (This did it for me) your kids won’t remember the nice stuff you did with them on your days off, they will remember they were poor.

7. Having said all that, what I would have loved was to work 4-4.5 days a week, it is the best of both worlds IMO: you get a good income and progress at work but reduce a lot of the stress by having a day or half a day a week to fit appointments, lunch with friends or deal with the chores and unpredictable stuff without having to ask your boss for time off all the time (it also saves your annual leave for when your kids are off school).

And finally… this may not apply to you but just in case it benefits someone: When your kid is 18 it may be a shock to have your income drastically reduced when child maintenance, Mesher orders and other benefits come to an end, and by then your options to find a better or higher paid job or a new mortgage might be reduced significantly.

@Redruby2020

Well I work full time. I have a mortgage. Mortgaged up to the max to pay ex husband his share
My twins are in full time paid childcare that costs £2k a month
I don't get any benefits - not even child benefit
I took out a £25k bank loan spread over 10 years which helps pay the twins costs and before/after school club for eldest
I don't have any family nearby
So yes I do it all.

How do I do it? I don't have a bloody choice

I work full time about 60 hours a week and do about 2 days in the office which is a 100 mile round trip. although mine do get picked up from the child minders by their dad about twice a week.
No family support or anyone else to pick them up.
Luckily mine are now 7 and 12; it's been like this since my youngest was 18 months old apart from then I was in the office 5 days a week.
Their dad tends to have them 1 day over the weekend inc the night which I use to catch up on literally everything.
These posts sometimes feel like a competition but I'm actually pretty happy and luckier then a lot of people.

I have a son and I am looking for a single mum with spare room to rent. We could team up and share child minding responsibilities like school runs and every other thing while I manage to work two or 3 times a week.

I've always worked full time. I now have one adult DS and one aged 14.
It's been really, really hard but is now so much easier. I'm juggling a lot (we live rurally so I do a lot of driving around), and school holidays can be tough if DS is being challenging. 7 weeks is a long time.
In the last year my world opened up again and I can go out in the evening, either socially or to do sport.
I WFH with a lot of flexibility which helps.

I managed because I earn decent money in a professional job, and my mortgage is low (small house).

Contracted for 35 hours, in reality, closer to 45.

I earn a good salary, but as a single parent, it is still a struggle. I have never received any financial support from their father.

I do have a boyfriend, but he doesn't live with me or financially support me, apart from buying me nice gifts, taking me on holiday occasionally.

There is also the mum guilt. My kids have been in nursery, after school, child minders most of their lives.

I find the constant juggling extremely stressful, and now I'm also menopausal. It's overwhelming at times.

It does get easier as they get older.

Same as @CharlotteBog - I am a very high earner so paid for childcare and my parents (who live abroad) covered some holidays by taking my daughter

I worked 3, 3.5 or 4 days up to year 6. Having that extra day made a big difference. I did have to pick up some slack on day 'off' but I could choose when I did it and it was worth it to keep the professional role.

I overheard a conversation between (I presume) 2 grandmothers the other day.
One was saying how they look after their granddaughter during the holidays because her son is in the forces and works overseas so she's on her own. She works so it's very hard for her.

It's lovely the grandmother supports her son's family. It was a reminder of the fact I didn't have anyone and made me sad.

I work full-time, 4 days in the office, 1 day WfH.

I work in a senior level professional role, so paid well enough to have a Nanny, who also does cleaning, shopping etc. I also service a hefty mortgage which I try not to think about. No benefits/tax credits as due to high income I'm not eligible.

I have 2 DC, one of whom attends a special school due to their needs, and there's no before or after school provision there.

Their Dad has them EOW, but refuses to do half the holidays as "he needs time to himself". He does pay maintenance, but only after I took him to CMS, and sent them his work payslip after he claimed to be self-employed.

Although I have the Nanny full-time, I make use of sports camps and other activities days during the school holidays as my other DC gets bored due to my other DC support needs.

My parents will also look after DC for a day here or there, as long as it's not regular or guaranteed, so I don't rely on them because I can't.

I have to do it myself, as I have no other choice.

Forgot to add full-time for me is notionally 40 hours per week. However due to the nature of my role, I regularly have to log on once the children have gone to bed, so it's more like 50-60 hours a week, depending on what's going on at work.